March 11 2013 11:57AM
Another 2 weeks has gone by in the First Ever NationDrafts.com league of extraordinary drafting people. Rolls right off the tongue doesn't it? If you want to read about those who are kicking the crap out of us mere mortals and see some serious shade thrown at a Mr. Brooks Laich read on after the jump.
MINISTRY OF SQUEE SITS AT 519th PLACE
Ok seriously Brooks Laich. What the hell is going on with you? Every week I get my email from the draft and I rush to look at how you must have returned to action during the week and I have blind hope that I missed the highlights of your 10 point game in your glorious return despite the fact I watch SportsDesk approximately 1,506 times a day.
But no. Somehow you have tricked Capitals medical staff into thinking you still can't return to action. Don't think I don't see you on twitter talking about Boondock Saints of all things. If you have the strength to watch a great movie that came out like 10 years ago you also have the strength to strap on your skates and carry the Ministry of Squee to victory.
We are going to write in a trade function for the playoff draft that allows teams in the draft to purchase a trade and the money goes to charity. Then we won't be at the mercy of these types of lazy millionaires nursing phantom injuries and screwing over hard working hockey drafters who had the wisdom to pick Thomas Vanek.
What do you think? Good idea? Bad idea? Hint: it's a great idea.
Meanwhile high atop Mount Olympus there is some dissention among the Gods of NationDrafts. Longtime leader Frankenstein was passed by three - count em - three teams and now the cleverly named Bernie Nicholls' Blue Skate Blades has taken the lead.
If the season ended today ol' Bernie would win the $5,000 shopping spree from United Cycle and could have as many blue skate blades as that kind of cash would allow. Except that they haven't made blue skate blades since 1984. Or maybe they still do - what am I a rep for Bauer Hockey?*
For this two week segment our random winner of a $25 Oodle Noodle Gift Certificate is a team aptly named Hot or Not. As a team that moved up from 498 to 369th place in the past two weeks you are clearly H-O-T. And the random winner generator here at Nation HQ seized his momentum and has awarded you a prize.
Too bad Brooks Laich can't win a prize for screwing over the Ministry of Squee for another two weeks. Cause he deserves something for his efforts.
*Not actual rep.