WANYE ON THE ROAD: ICELAND

Wanye
March 25 2013 01:42PM

Every now and again I decide to get the hell out of dodge and see what the rest of the world has to offer. And because I have been basically using the Nation as a diary for the past 5 years, I'll post articles about what we see and what we do and more specifically what we drink.

If you want to read an article about the Edmonton Oilers Hockey squadron this ain't it. If you want to take a break from the roller coaster of emotions and learn about Icelandic mega babes read on after the jump. Spoiler alert: you really do.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

 

I'd heard that Iceland was a beautiful country from Nate Box at the venerable Elm Cafe in Edmonton. When it came time to vote on the destination for the annual "won't have to spend money on Oilers playoff tickets" trip @thesquireyeg said "I vote we go to Iceland. It has been echoing in my brain for a year since Nate went."

And so it was that we came over to Reykjavik last week. And so far it has been an incredible time in a country that looks like GQ is holding an international model search in Middle Earth from Lord of the Rings.

The entire country has a population of 300,000 people - or roughly a third of Edmonton. And despite being that tiny and being in an incredibly remote locale the place is a super cool cultural mecca with Icelandic design, fashion and music at the forefront of things. Don't bother looking for a Starbucks or McDonalds as we did - they have their own way of doing everything here.

Icelanders are a very proud people. In one cafe we ordered bottles of water and the server said "why would you want a bottle of water? We have the best tap water in the world. There is no pollution here at all. I will bring you tap water instead."

And this is the tip of the proverbial iceberg of what Icelanders are proud about - and there are a great many things indeed that have blown our minds so far.

BOUNCIN IN THE CLUBS

 

Now your ol' pal Wanye has been known to have the odd drink now and again in the odd nightclub while trying his luck with the odd babe (see years 2007-present) We didn't really have any frame of reference for what to expect an Icelandic Bar to be like.

Would it be men with beards smashing back mead and clanging swords? Would all one would hear be crazy foreign house music in an unintelligible dialect of some sort? Would they know what a "beer" is?

Turns out that Iceland nightlife is pretty awesome indeed. None of the bars are that big - max capacity about 100 tops from what we have seen. But every place has a live DJ or band and the music scene is about as varied as one could hope to find anywhere. 

Our particular favourite is the oldest cafe in Rekjavik called Prikid which impossibly doubles as Iceland's best hip hop bar at night. We have never heard better mashups or more music from our iPod played in a bar in our entire life. There is something particularly thrilling about watching Hipster Icelandic babes dancing to Rick Ross that cannot be accurately put down on electronic paper.

And this brings us to the babes here.

MY GOD THE BABES HERE

They are so classy and so hipster - speaking perfect English but still retaining a sexy accent. With the exception of Canadian girls - who I still say are the hottest on Earth - the womens of the Iceland are the babest babes in all of babedom.

Apparently the Vikings used to steal the hottest girls from whatever town they had happened to sack as part of their Viking loot. Multiply that by a pretty good Viking record on the road for about 1000 years straight and you have created a rock solid foundation for a world class gene pool of hotties.

Now there are some drawbacks. There is a database of Icelandic family trees that people here will access when they meet a new romantic interest. The population is so small and immigration so rare that you literally have to look up the new girl you met to see if you are related.

The mystical Viking super babe that told us this story said she knew several people who found out they should stay away from people because they were third cousins or some such thing. And not only iss she a L'il Wayne loving DJ over here but a former Miss Iceland competitor to boot. So basically she could have sold us the Brooklyn Bridge and we would have handed over the entire contents of our wallet with nothing but a dopey smile.*

Which lead to your ol' pal Wanye giving this old line a go: "Well then I'm fresh genetic material. I bet we aren't even seventh cousins!"

Classic move moron.

NEXT UP

The next leg of our trip will involve meeting up with the legendary Sam Brown - the newest resident of Wanye Manor - in Copenhagen for a few days then off to Amsterdam.

Poor Sam has recently arranged a multi year work visa following his retirement from the Morningside Panthers and is seeking his fortune in Edmonton. Instead we twisted his arm and made him leave a mere 8 days after he arrived to spend money in Europe.

Will he survive? Only time will tell.

If you are interested in these shennanigans and want to follow along in real time follow us on the twitter and instagram

Oh and please Oilers. Make a show of the playoff drive. Some of us still live and die with your every move and are streaming the games in the middle of the bloody night and could do with a better effort than a 3-0 thrashing at the hands of the Blues.

*In unrelated news we have planned to come back here in a little over a week regardless of playoff drive 

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#2 PrimeBane
March 25 2013, 02:10PM
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"Well then I'm fresh genetic material. I bet we aren't even seventh cousins!"

Everyone was thinking it as they read... don't lie. ;)

Do they have paternity suits in Iceland? DNA testing?

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#3 Ales Hallsky
March 25 2013, 02:22PM
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Also, please bring back Viking to play Ice Hockey on our local squadron. (and Babes. Lots and lots of Babes!!.)

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#4 borisnikov
March 25 2013, 03:15PM
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The photos could be a subliminal message that wanye is sending if you use your imagination...
pic 1: phallic tower
pic 2: barren landscape representing the lost soul wanye is
pic 3: the club setting in which he would weave his magical ways
pic 4: the Icelandic goddess that he managed to mesmerize
pic 5: unintelligible road signs that represent the fear of not knowing what to do with ones self after realizing you just banged the daughter of a true to life viking

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#5 Wheeler
March 25 2013, 01:53PM
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Mmm babes!

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#6 Ales Hallsky
March 25 2013, 02:08PM
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I hope the Oilers make the playoffs and you wont be able to Squee with us at RX1. Screw you and your icelandic bad karma jinx.

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#7 Geoff
March 25 2013, 02:13PM
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I've never been to iceland and i never mind a good offtopic post so keep it up!

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#10 Ambassador humantorch
March 25 2013, 02:28PM
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then off to Amsterdam

Good sir, the Embassy is primed for your arrival.

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#11 A-Mc
March 25 2013, 02:35PM
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Wow look at those eyes.. That's dangerous right thururrrrr

Only in a place like Iceland could that lass be single.. And even then, i'd expect her to be shacked up with some 7' 320lb dude with horns and an axe weighing more than i do.

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#12 A-Mc
March 25 2013, 02:43PM
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Hey Wanye, More landscape pictures man! Is iceland like Ireland? That whole rolling grassy rock landscape thing appeals to me and the mrs.

Iceland might be cheaper to get to.

PS: BROOKS LAICH HAS 2 POINTS!!!! #OnOurWayUp!!

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#14 Phixieus666
March 25 2013, 03:43PM
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Wanye wrote:

This epic night of nights will get an article all of its own BELIEVE THAT

Wanye I'm soooooo disappointed. Only one pic of a hotty. Your slipping man. I want to see a collage of the epic hotties over there because I sure as hell will never get the chance.

Gonna try some brownies in Amsterdam????

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#15 Gerald R. Ford
March 25 2013, 04:23PM
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As soon as I saw "Iceland" in the article title, my immediate thoughts were: "The women! Oh HELL yes!" and "We'll never see Wanye again."

Excellent choice, sir.

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#16 Eulers
March 25 2013, 04:24PM
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Sounded like a pretty good line to me. Too bad it didn't work. Next time!

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#17 106 and 106
March 25 2013, 05:26PM
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WAYNE, Some of the ON faithful/Edmonton-displaced live in Amsterdam/London - check your email, I owe you a pint.

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#18 DrunkGuyTy
March 25 2013, 06:36PM
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So I guess Bjork would have been a product of the failure to proactively check the Icelandic genealogical tree?

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#19 David S
March 25 2013, 10:41PM
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Every bar pic Wanye has been Tweeting looks like some college frat basement party.

Also, no said pics of said hot chicks. None.

Disgusting yo.

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#21 shelly
March 26 2013, 01:47AM
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Classic spam comment if ever there was one

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#22 Neal
March 26 2013, 07:41AM
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So, did you wear your hoodie, and did it really work?

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#23 Ambassador humantorch
March 26 2013, 09:55AM
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106 and 106 wrote:

WAYNE, Some of the ON faithful/Edmonton-displaced live in Amsterdam/London - check your email, I owe you a pint.

Anyone else in the Amsterdam area is, of course, welcome to join Wanye, his pals, and I as we juke and jive some time this weekend/early next week.

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#24 UsedRugs
March 26 2013, 11:05AM
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Dear Mr Wanye

I believe this to be pertanent reading material before you head off to the land of beautiful girls and beautiful... Other stuff.

http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-bang-icelandic-girls-using-the-afterparty-move

Make The Nation proud sir.

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#25 vetinari
March 26 2013, 12:41PM
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Where's NewAgeSystem with a 10 paragraph ramble about offensive zone dating starts in relation to the proximity of ethyl alcohol and operatic influenced techno?

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