GDB 21.0: A NON WILD AFFAIR

Wanye
March 03 2013 01:22PM

Rest assured a game against the Minnesota Wild will be anything but a wild affair. The team plays a defensive style so boring the Pentagon is looking to develop a way to weaponize it and bring it into battle. "Project: Lethal Boredom"  is expected to be a fully functional option in the aresenal of freedom within a decade.

Boring or not the Oil are going to have to figure something out and walk away with some points tonight as this lockout shortened season is already hanging in the balance. The Wild sit comfortably in 10th place in the Western Conference at 10-8-2 and our upstart Oilers are temporarily in 12th place at 8-8-4 and looking to rocket up the charts.

The Oil are going to have to find a way to win without the services of Taylor Hall, who is still feeling the effects from a sore hamstring injury suffered last game agsint the Blues. Says Coach Krueger, "Taylor is still feeling a strain that we want to err to the cautious side. This type of injury, we can give him four days of rest as opposed to forcing him in today. He's day-to-day but we expect him back very soon."

Which also means we can scratch "watch Hall hammer Clutterbuck to show he ain't afraid" off the OilersNation Game Bingo Cards for tonight.

LINEUP

According to Jason Gregor who texted me "here are the lines in advance so you don't screw it all up like you did last game" these are the non-screwed up lines for today.

F

91-89-14

64-93-83

94-20-28

55-54-37

D

5-2

15-19

6-24

Starting goalies have not yet been announced.

PREDICTIONS

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Despite the Wilds' ability to smother teams with a blanket of defence before sending them into a 90 minute coma we have a feeling the Oil will wiggle free and find a way to win 4-2. Two goals by the J Leslie Eberle collection (naturally) a J. Schultz special from the point and a Ryan Jones garbage goal will make up the offense for the good guys.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Cal Clutterbuck comes flying off the bench midway through the first period looking for revenge on Taylor Hall for giving him a charlie horse last time these two teams faced off.

"DERP WHERE TAYLOR HALL AT?" the cro magnonian man will scream whilst awkwardly lumbering around the ice. After being told Hall is already out with an injury Clutterbuck will confusedly cross check himself from behind into the boards. Minnesota fans will quietly applaud before rolling over and going back to sleep in the stands.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION:  Wild fans - who have inexplicably paid to watch Minnesota Wild hockey for years now - will see what exciting hockey looks like for a few brief flashes tonight. "What was that? An end to end rush?" they will whisper to each other in the seats. "Where is the dump and chase? Where is the neutral zone trap? This isn't hockey!"

Wild GM Chuck Fletcher will be forced to address the fans at the end of the first period on the scoreboard. "We realize that you have seen some tic-tac-toe passing and one time top cheddar goals from the Oilers tonight. As the General Manager of the Wild I can assure you that the Oilers will be gone shortly after the game and we are committed to returning to the 1-0 hockey Minnesota fans deserve."

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 James
March 03 2013, 06:07PM
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Bi-Curious Gord wrote:

The lame DSF cracks/rebuttals might be the most entertaining part of the game tonight.

Meh, I don't ever find it entertaining.

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#52 James
March 03 2013, 06:08PM
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cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan wrote:

^^ this.

i could continue to take shots, but it has become far to easy. now, it rarely warrants the time and effort to bother pointing out yet another comical round of spin from the dsf spin machine.

Exactly. It's useless and all it serves is to clog up and otherwise intelligent hockey post.

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#53 DSF
March 03 2013, 06:14PM
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Wax Man Riley wrote:

Ya well Craig Anderson is #1. Way better than any other player.

What are you doing?

What is the point of comparing players from every team in the league to The Oilers. Name a player, and I will name a better player on another team, an tell you why the player you name is horrible.

For real though. Your schtick is getting old.

Crosby.

Go.

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#54 geno
March 03 2013, 06:19PM
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DSF wrote:

Galchenyuk - 112

Yakupov - 328

http://www.hockeyprospectus.com/sortable/

Doughty-505 Biznasty-493 Belanger-484

Hmm.

Keep on trolling, genius

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#55 geno
March 03 2013, 06:20PM
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DSF wrote:

Kadri - 17

Scrivens - 35

Franson - 54

Cogliano (52) ranked higher than any Oiler forward.

Dubnyk-38

Quick-474

I guess Dubey's better!

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#56 Ales Hallsky
March 03 2013, 06:21PM
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DSF wrote:

Crosby.

Go.

Injury prone, weak mentally and his goaltending is brutal

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#57 BleedingOil
March 03 2013, 06:51PM
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James wrote:

Meh, I don't ever find it entertaining.

me neither

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#58 BleedingOil
March 03 2013, 06:53PM
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about time he put RNH on the 2nd line

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#59 Wax Man Riley
March 03 2013, 06:56PM
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DSF wrote:

Crosby.

Go.

Crosby...

Crosby is the biggest flop. Talk about a soft head, he has only played 85 games over the past 3 seasons and is one hit away from retirement.

To give you an idea, he has scored 137 points over the last 3 seasons.

Stamkos has scored 220 pts over that time and no significant injury history.

As a comparison, Eberle has 134 pts over that time.

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#60 BleedingOil
March 03 2013, 07:13PM
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Wax Man Riley wrote:

Crosby...

Crosby is the biggest flop. Talk about a soft head, he has only played 85 games over the past 3 seasons and is one hit away from retirement.

To give you an idea, he has scored 137 points over the last 3 seasons.

Stamkos has scored 220 pts over that time and no significant injury history.

As a comparison, Eberle has 134 pts over that time.

I don't believe this qualifies as an argument. On a scale of 1 to irrelevant, I give this post a stupid.

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#61 Kay
March 03 2013, 07:16PM
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Is it just me or is Dubby going back to the old 1 bad goal/game Dubnyk that we all love? Played a couple good games to start the season but he's been letting in alot of weak ones again lately. I'm still not sold on this guy being a good #1

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#62 dougtheslug
March 03 2013, 07:20PM
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BleedingOil wrote:

I don't believe this qualifies as an argument. On a scale of 1 to irrelevant, I give this post a stupid.

Can you say.....sarcarsm? Or are you DSF's butler?

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#63 Kay
March 03 2013, 07:21PM
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Wax Man Riley wrote:

Crosby...

Crosby is the biggest flop. Talk about a soft head, he has only played 85 games over the past 3 seasons and is one hit away from retirement.

To give you an idea, he has scored 137 points over the last 3 seasons.

Stamkos has scored 220 pts over that time and no significant injury history.

As a comparison, Eberle has 134 pts over that time.

So you're argument is that he's only played 85games in three years and still got more points than eberle?

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#64 BleedingOil
March 03 2013, 07:26PM
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Kay wrote:

Is it just me or is Dubby going back to the old 1 bad goal/game Dubnyk that we all love? Played a couple good games to start the season but he's been letting in alot of weak ones again lately. I'm still not sold on this guy being a good #1

The Oilers cannot draft and develop goalies. Moog and Fuhr were the last ones to do well.

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#65 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
March 03 2013, 07:27PM
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BleedingOil wrote:

I don't believe this qualifies as an argument. On a scale of 1 to irrelevant, I give this post a stupid.

even madjam is wondering if you honestly missed the sarcasm in that post you responded to

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#66 BleedingOil
March 03 2013, 07:27PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Can you say.....sarcarsm? Or are you DSF's butler?

So we all cant be sarcastic?

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#67 BleedingOil
March 03 2013, 07:29PM
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cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan wrote:

even madjam is wondering if you honestly missed the sarcasm in that post you responded to

funny how we all miss sarcasm

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#68 Walter Sobchak
March 03 2013, 07:31PM
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Wax Man Riley wrote:

Crosby...

Crosby is the biggest flop. Talk about a soft head, he has only played 85 games over the past 3 seasons and is one hit away from retirement.

To give you an idea, he has scored 137 points over the last 3 seasons.

Stamkos has scored 220 pts over that time and no significant injury history.

As a comparison, Eberle has 134 pts over that time.

^ This is wonderfull! He would pull this right out of his arse! Bravo.

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#69 Kay
March 03 2013, 07:31PM
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Lol I'll admit I didn't get the sarcasm, lol oops

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#70 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
March 03 2013, 07:32PM
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BleedingOil wrote:

funny how we all miss sarcasm

simple yes would have worked. the judges will also accept your answer and deduct 2 points for lack of originality.

in other news, hockey games involving the wild bore me to death

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#71 Alsker
March 03 2013, 07:39PM
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Wow for a sec there I thought the refs had been lulled to sleep..we need a PPG now..on a side note Hemmers have a tough one tonite

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#72 Alsker
March 03 2013, 07:45PM
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WTF..13 min without a shot this period...are we playing for the loser point...are we trying to be NJ..epic fail

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#73 Alsker
March 03 2013, 07:55PM
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I was incorrect the refs are asleep no call on Petry trip but the linesman are awake nuf to call too many men...Im ashamed to say that the shames were able to get least 1 shot against the bores last time(tho the game was sickenly boring)

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#74 Walter Sobchak
March 03 2013, 07:57PM
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What a terrible hockey game....Like WOW.

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#75 Poolanov
March 03 2013, 08:00PM
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Yak makes a nice play and Hemmer lazily skates offside. Outshot 17 rip. yikes

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#76 BleedingOil
March 03 2013, 08:00PM
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Alsker wrote:

I was incorrect the refs are asleep no call on Petry trip but the linesman are awake nuf to call too many men...Im ashamed to say that the shames were able to get least 1 shot against the bores last time(tho the game was sickenly boring)

only 7 shots all game.

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#77 dougtheslug
March 03 2013, 08:04PM
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oilers 0-6 when tied after 2.Haven't had a shot on goal since the 2006-7 season. I think I'll go darn my socks.

On a happier note, Golden Bears lead U Sask 4-0 after 2. Poised to win their 50th Canada West title in the last 100 years. At least someone in this town knows how to run a hockey organization.

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#78 Alsker
March 03 2013, 08:13PM
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Way too many guys waiting for someone else to get them the puck, make the play, or hustle, RK needs to reward the few going tonight..PRV Yak ???, ok so maybe he should just do some screaming and yelling like SHOOOOT, SHOOOOT, SHOOOT cant hurt

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#79 DSF
March 03 2013, 08:14PM
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First rookie to 10 goals.

Huberdeau!

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#80 Alsker
March 03 2013, 08:18PM
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Woohoo....we got a shot!!!! only 24 minutes apart...

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#81 StHenriOilBomb
March 03 2013, 08:25PM
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This game hurts. I'm pissed I waited all day for this.

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#82 Wax Man Riley
March 03 2013, 08:26PM
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COYLE YOU STILL SUCK WITH YOUR 1G 1A! YOU STILL CAN'T EVEN PLAY CENTER UR ON TEH WING BOOOOOO!

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#83 BleedingOil
March 03 2013, 08:31PM
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DSF wrote:

First rookie to 10 goals.

Huberdeau!

Hall or Seguin? RNH or Huberdeau?

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#84 Oilersfan4
March 03 2013, 08:32PM
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Dubnyk needs to work on his blocker side,that definitely his weak spot.Always a couple weak goals per game

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#85 @Oilanderp
March 03 2013, 08:37PM
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Watching Wild hockey is like sucking on a sand-covered dog terd.

Watching Wild hockey when the Oilers are playing their worst game of the season is like swallowing said terd. Oil don't deserve to be in this.

*prepares noose*

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#86 Dennis
March 03 2013, 08:40PM
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Weird goal, jesus! Hey, we'll take it though.

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#87 Dennis
March 03 2013, 08:43PM
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Of course we'd have to give the Wild one of their highest scoring games this year....course we would. *heavy sigh*

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#88 Jay
March 03 2013, 08:44PM
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Lets go get a goalie now

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#89 The Oilers Shot Clock
March 03 2013, 08:49PM
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What's the record for shots against in oiler history? If this game isn't near rock bottom for the season, then I don't want to know how far down the floor goes. Make a damn trade.

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#90 Dennis
March 03 2013, 08:49PM
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WTF Eberle?!! Good grief.

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#91 Serious Gord
March 03 2013, 08:52PM
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Needed a goalie - did nothing

Needed size fierceness and physicality on the 1&2 lines - did nothing, now trying to fill the see with third line (at best) players.

Needed a coach - got an unproven coach who admits he doesn't believe I clipboards at practice or line matching during a game (has any coach in NHL history succeeded with that philosophy?

What happens now on the ice - including this game cannot be fixed on the ice.

IT ALL rests with tambellini and his masters Lowe and Katz.

Don't look at the ice - look at the executive box. That's where this team is failing. And epically so.

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#92 Jakethesnake
March 03 2013, 08:55PM
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Our goalie sucks. Nobody cares but Maggie out there. We keep saying its going to be great but I'm starting to wonder. This games was a joke to watch. I guess we will just keep picking number 1 overall

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#93 The Oilers Shot Clock
March 03 2013, 08:56PM
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I have the easiest job....ever.

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#94 Wax Man Riley
March 03 2013, 08:57PM
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Wow. Really, just, wow.

Eberle gives up the shot? No confidence? Or did he really think Yakupov had a better shot?

Paajarvi had his best game of the season. Good to see, but he still isn't a first line player. He's learning though.

Everybody else, just boooooooooo...

All the way up to the executive box, this team needs a change.

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#95 bwar
March 03 2013, 08:58PM
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That was infuriating to watch.

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#96 MOE
March 03 2013, 08:59PM
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How many years we need to come in last before we fire the entire coaching staff.

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#97 StHenriOilBomb
March 03 2013, 09:02PM
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I have always thought of myself as a fairly even-keeled Oilers fan. I have been patient, understanding the non-hockey circumstances of the 90's and ownership difficulties of the 2000's cheering the team from the bottom of my core. Tonight I'm a little devastated. So many years of the same problems, and so little done to address them.

Tonight's experience was depressing. All of the hope and expectation I had that the Oilers would compete against anyone, any time, are gone. Looks like another year of drudgery, and next year we're already in to cap issues without ever making the post season.

I don't know if coaching is a problem, but management surely is.

Big changes need to come. Serious, well thought out, decisive action must be taken. I've officially lost all remaining shreds of belief in the current 'plan', or 'crack dream', or 'fall ass-backwards in to one dimensional forwards until financial ruin idea'.

I'm out. See you all in a while, or once some big changes are made.

Go Oilers.

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#98 moe
March 03 2013, 09:04PM
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Ralphs style of play doesn't match or youth and skill. Zero offence equals zero wins. How the hell do we win if we don't shoot!!!!!!!!!! This is two painful to watch i can't wait for this shortened garbage season is over.

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#99 @Oilanderp
March 03 2013, 09:10PM
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This team really need to explain itself to its goalie and coach. How an NHL team goes an entire period without a shot is beyond me.

Absolutely brutal.

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#100 blue31
March 03 2013, 09:11PM
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This team is sour from the top down. I've had enough. Three years of basement dwelling, and we are just a couple points from last place again.

At what point can we, as fans, expect this team to improve?

Something about this weekends games have completely deflated my support for this sad excuse for a sports franchise.

Maybe this is what happens when the league chases their socialist utopia of parity and equality. Reward badly managed teams with top draft picks, and watch them destroy promising young careers.

Bad management is bad management. Put sparkles on a pig and you still have a pig.

I feel sorry for any player who has to play for this crap team. It has sucked the life out of skilled players from here to Shayne Corson.

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