GDB 21.0: A NON WILD AFFAIR

Wanye
March 03 2013 01:22PM

Rest assured a game against the Minnesota Wild will be anything but a wild affair. The team plays a defensive style so boring the Pentagon is looking to develop a way to weaponize it and bring it into battle. "Project: Lethal Boredom"  is expected to be a fully functional option in the aresenal of freedom within a decade.

Boring or not the Oil are going to have to figure something out and walk away with some points tonight as this lockout shortened season is already hanging in the balance. The Wild sit comfortably in 10th place in the Western Conference at 10-8-2 and our upstart Oilers are temporarily in 12th place at 8-8-4 and looking to rocket up the charts.

The Oil are going to have to find a way to win without the services of Taylor Hall, who is still feeling the effects from a sore hamstring injury suffered last game agsint the Blues. Says Coach Krueger, "Taylor is still feeling a strain that we want to err to the cautious side. This type of injury, we can give him four days of rest as opposed to forcing him in today. He's day-to-day but we expect him back very soon."

Which also means we can scratch "watch Hall hammer Clutterbuck to show he ain't afraid" off the OilersNation Game Bingo Cards for tonight.

LINEUP

According to Jason Gregor who texted me "here are the lines in advance so you don't screw it all up like you did last game" these are the non-screwed up lines for today.

F

91-89-14

64-93-83

94-20-28

55-54-37

D

5-2

15-19

6-24

Starting goalies have not yet been announced.

PREDICTIONS

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Despite the Wilds' ability to smother teams with a blanket of defence before sending them into a 90 minute coma we have a feeling the Oil will wiggle free and find a way to win 4-2. Two goals by the J Leslie Eberle collection (naturally) a J. Schultz special from the point and a Ryan Jones garbage goal will make up the offense for the good guys.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Cal Clutterbuck comes flying off the bench midway through the first period looking for revenge on Taylor Hall for giving him a charlie horse last time these two teams faced off.

"DERP WHERE TAYLOR HALL AT?" the cro magnonian man will scream whilst awkwardly lumbering around the ice. After being told Hall is already out with an injury Clutterbuck will confusedly cross check himself from behind into the boards. Minnesota fans will quietly applaud before rolling over and going back to sleep in the stands.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION:  Wild fans - who have inexplicably paid to watch Minnesota Wild hockey for years now - will see what exciting hockey looks like for a few brief flashes tonight. "What was that? An end to end rush?" they will whisper to each other in the seats. "Where is the dump and chase? Where is the neutral zone trap? This isn't hockey!"

Wild GM Chuck Fletcher will be forced to address the fans at the end of the first period on the scoreboard. "We realize that you have seen some tic-tac-toe passing and one time top cheddar goals from the Oilers tonight. As the General Manager of the Wild I can assure you that the Oilers will be gone shortly after the game and we are committed to returning to the 1-0 hockey Minnesota fans deserve."

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#2 Quicksilver ballet
March 03 2013, 03:42PM
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Speaking of napping...

What a night on Friday. Went out to The Pint with the girls and had one too many vodka breezers. So tired of passing out and waking up in someone elses home. I don't understand why it takes me 2 or 3 days to walk normal again either.

Darn vodka...any other women have this problem?

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#3 Ales Hallsky
March 03 2013, 06:21PM
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DSF wrote:

Crosby.

Go.

Injury prone, weak mentally and his goaltending is brutal

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#4 Wäx Män Riley
March 03 2013, 06:56PM
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DSF wrote:

Crosby.

Go.

Crosby...

Crosby is the biggest flop. Talk about a soft head, he has only played 85 games over the past 3 seasons and is one hit away from retirement.

To give you an idea, he has scored 137 points over the last 3 seasons.

Stamkos has scored 220 pts over that time and no significant injury history.

As a comparison, Eberle has 134 pts over that time.

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#5 The Oilers Shot Clock
March 03 2013, 08:56PM
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I have the easiest job....ever.

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#6 The Beaker
March 03 2013, 04:55PM
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Sutter (2004) Suter (76) Gilbert Godfried (1) Me (6.2) Lebron James (98) Feaster (Pizza 73)

....

Did I do it right?*

*Thats what she said.

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#7 dougtheslug
March 03 2013, 07:20PM
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BleedingOil wrote:

I don't believe this qualifies as an argument. On a scale of 1 to irrelevant, I give this post a stupid.

Can you say.....sarcarsm? Or are you DSF's butler?

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#8 dougtheslug
March 03 2013, 08:04PM
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oilers 0-6 when tied after 2.Haven't had a shot on goal since the 2006-7 season. I think I'll go darn my socks.

On a happier note, Golden Bears lead U Sask 4-0 after 2. Poised to win their 50th Canada West title in the last 100 years. At least someone in this town knows how to run a hockey organization.

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#9 StHenriOilBomb
March 03 2013, 08:25PM
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This game hurts. I'm pissed I waited all day for this.

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#10 Dennis
March 03 2013, 08:49PM
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WTF Eberle?!! Good grief.

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#11 Wäx Män Riley
March 03 2013, 01:25PM
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THE WILD ARE THE BEST TEAM IN TEH LEAGUE AND ARE UNBEATABLE AND WIL HAVE 60 HOME PLAYOFF GAMES IN TEH NEXT 10 YEARS AND CHARLIE COYLE IS THE BEST CENTER EVER

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#12 Wäx Män Riley
March 03 2013, 01:41PM
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geno wrote:

AND WHO'S 25?!?!?

Mike Grier?

Greg DeVries??

Did we get Joni Pitkanen back?

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#13 Hall for Captain
March 03 2013, 01:42PM
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Wanye.....I don't want to be THAT person always pointing out every teeny weeny mistake...but pretty sure Gagner (otherwise know as Gagne, Ganger etc....) is 89 not 84. Apologies for being THAT guy....

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#14 Wäx Män Riley
March 03 2013, 05:14PM
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DSF wrote:

Galchenyuk - 112

Yakupov - 328

http://www.hockeyprospectus.com/sortable/

Ya well Craig Anderson is #1. Way better than any other player.

What are you doing?

What is the point of comparing players from every team in the league to The Oilers. Name a player, and I will name a better player on another team, an tell you why the player you name is horrible.

For real though. Your schtick is getting old.

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#15 geno
March 03 2013, 06:20PM
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DSF wrote:

Kadri - 17

Scrivens - 35

Franson - 54

Cogliano (52) ranked higher than any Oiler forward.

Dubnyk-38

Quick-474

I guess Dubey's better!

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#16 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
March 03 2013, 07:27PM
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BleedingOil wrote:

I don't believe this qualifies as an argument. On a scale of 1 to irrelevant, I give this post a stupid.

even madjam is wondering if you honestly missed the sarcasm in that post you responded to

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#17 Alsker
March 03 2013, 07:45PM
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WTF..13 min without a shot this period...are we playing for the loser point...are we trying to be NJ..epic fail

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#18 Walter Sobchak
March 03 2013, 07:57PM
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What a terrible hockey game....Like WOW.

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#19 Alsker
March 03 2013, 08:18PM
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Woohoo....we got a shot!!!! only 24 minutes apart...

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#20 @Oilanderp
March 03 2013, 08:37PM
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Watching Wild hockey is like sucking on a sand-covered dog terd.

Watching Wild hockey when the Oilers are playing their worst game of the season is like swallowing said terd. Oil don't deserve to be in this.

*prepares noose*

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#21 @Oilanderp
March 03 2013, 09:10PM
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This team really need to explain itself to its goalie and coach. How an NHL team goes an entire period without a shot is beyond me.

Absolutely brutal.

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#22 blue31
March 03 2013, 09:11PM
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This team is sour from the top down. I've had enough. Three years of basement dwelling, and we are just a couple points from last place again.

At what point can we, as fans, expect this team to improve?

Something about this weekends games have completely deflated my support for this sad excuse for a sports franchise.

Maybe this is what happens when the league chases their socialist utopia of parity and equality. Reward badly managed teams with top draft picks, and watch them destroy promising young careers.

Bad management is bad management. Put sparkles on a pig and you still have a pig.

I feel sorry for any player who has to play for this crap team. It has sucked the life out of skilled players from here to Shayne Corson.

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#23 Walter Sobchak
March 03 2013, 09:37PM
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DSF wrote:

Just before the Hopkins draft I happened to run into the former GM of the Kitchener Rangers who is now working for Hockey Canada in a bar in Osoyoos.

He told me that Huberdeau would be, by far, the best player in that draft although he thought it would take him a little longer to make an impact because he wasn't very mature.

At this point, it would appear that both Huberdeau and Landeskog (who I would have drafted) will be better players.

Who was better 2 months ago in the World JR?

I would say that Huberdeau wasnt even close!

RNH is banged up, how bad? We will know the extent shortly.

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#24 Citizen David
March 03 2013, 09:44PM
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DSF wrote:

Just before the Hopkins draft I happened to run into the former GM of the Kitchener Rangers who is now working for Hockey Canada in a bar in Osoyoos.

He told me that Huberdeau would be, by far, the best player in that draft although he thought it would take him a little longer to make an impact because he wasn't very mature.

At this point, it would appear that both Huberdeau and Landeskog (who I would have drafted) will be better players.

You are saying that before they have even played a full two seasons (huberdeau hasn't even played half of one season) that's it's clear who will be better? Laughable. After a couple season's it looked like Ovechkin was better than Crosby and Malkin. Now? Not so much. Landeskog is awesome and Huberdeau will probably be really good. But Nuge will be somewhere in there too. Impossible to say now how it will play out.

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#25 Walter Sobchak
March 03 2013, 09:55PM
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DSF wrote:

He was looking at the longer term.

He saw Huberdeau as a potential game changer while he thought Hopkins was too soft.

Don't shoot the messenger, especially when Huberdeau would be on pace for a 40 goal 82 game season.

DSF, I am not arguing with you, just pointing out that at the JR head to head RNH was a supperior hockey player playing against the toughest comp.

while Huberdeau maybe a Roenick, RNH maybe a Sakic.

nothing wrong with ether player.

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#26 Walter Sobchak
March 03 2013, 09:56PM
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Overrated Oilers wrote:

Oh look, Oil are 14th i the West...what's Tambo gonna wear on the TSN Draft Lottery show?

A SH!T eating grin

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#27 Wäx Män Riley
March 03 2013, 01:27PM
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O YA AND ALSO NUTS!

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#28 Mikey
March 03 2013, 01:34PM
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WAYNE YOUR WRITING SUCKS BECAUSE I HAVE ZERO SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

Love Selma Heyak

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#29 geno
March 03 2013, 01:35PM
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WHO"S 84 WANYE?!?!

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#30 Time Travelling Sean
March 03 2013, 01:35PM
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Your funny. Sad but true though, why pay to be unentertained? Isn't the NHL, at the end of the day, about entertainment?

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#31 geno
March 03 2013, 01:36PM
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AND WHO'S 25?!?!?

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#32 Velo
March 03 2013, 01:37PM
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Who is 84?

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#33 Velo
March 03 2013, 01:38PM
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Guess we traded him for 89. We just got more skilled but smaller!

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#35 Wäx Män Riley
March 03 2013, 01:40PM
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geno wrote:

WHO"S 84 WANYE?!?!

#84 for the Edmonton Oilers?

No one. Ever.

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#38 Coco
March 03 2013, 01:43PM
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WHO IS NUMBER 84

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#39 Hall for Captain
March 03 2013, 01:44PM
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I see there are more than one of us on this here blog site.

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#40 Time Travelling Sean
March 03 2013, 01:45PM
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84 is Yak+20.

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#41 geno
March 03 2013, 01:47PM
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Wanye wrote:

SHHH SHH DONT TELL GREGOR HE WILL KILL ME

*runs and hides*

OOOOH GREGOR THE SUPERIOR!!

*water glass rippling*

fee fi fo fum

*blood hurdling scream*

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#43 DSF
March 03 2013, 02:08PM
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Oh, and Clutterbuck won't be playing...still injured.

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#45 Time Travelling Sean
March 03 2013, 02:15PM
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@DSF

Yea that bruised THIGH must really be hurting.

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#46 Taylor Gang
March 03 2013, 02:24PM
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The Wild would be such babies if they cared that much about an injury as small as that

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#47 Sanaa Montana
March 03 2013, 02:47PM
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Yakupov-RNH-Hemsky, finally.!..

OILERS WIN 7-2. YAK GETS HIS 1st CAREER HAT TRICK.

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#48 106 and 106
March 03 2013, 02:52PM
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Dear Pentagon, Hurry Up. This team makes the NHL sleepy.

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#49 DigDeepNBleedBlue
March 03 2013, 02:59PM
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If these are the lines it's gonna be interesting to see Gagner and Eberle together. They've shown some chemistry in the past. The two, IMO however, need some size to be effective even-strengthed. Paajarvi has the size and can bring some energy but he doesn't do it every shift nor every game. I'm thinking him and Eager should switch lines every now and then. Both have great speed, Paajarvi is more skilled and Eager is more of a SOB. That little trait could open up some ice. Besides, flippin' the script during the game can't hurt in possibly creating some difference/confusion and abrasiveness in their attack 5x5.

No, I don't think Eager should play there every game...

I'll be watching the RNH and Yak attack with great interest as well. I have been wanting to see these two and Hall together in a game for some time now. Yak is a rook, makes rook mistakes, but these three look to be made for each other... and not because they were all drafted number one... Skill sets: Passer, shooter and all round hockey player.

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GDP: 1. Oilers score in first 5 mins 2. I fall asleep by the 7 min mark. 3. I wake up as Minny scores with 5 min remaining in the 3rd. 4. Game goes into 5 mins of mind-numbing OT with the Oil winning 2-1 in the SO. 5. Immediately flip to the interwebs to look for the highlites I missed while napping only to find there were none.

OGDP:

I wont be the only one napping

NSOGDP:

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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