AS TIME GOES BY

Wanye
March 04 2013 11:20AM

It's at this point in the NHL season that Oilers fans make a decision about how we are going to pass the time for the remaining 6 weeks of the season. Early excitement and God given right to unreasonable optimism has created a black diamond rated slide into misery and if it hasn't arrived already it is certainly on the horizon as seen in the scientific graph above.

In seasons past this was a crappy team that lived up to its billing as being crap. They knew it, we all knew it deep down in our hearts. Games were lost, tears were shed and the most dithering General Manager in sport was lauded for his ability to stand idly by while the team continued to suffer.

Now it is an entirely different beast. This is now a very good team that has some obvious holes that need filling* They know it, we all know it. Everyone with a functioning brain steam and pair of occular units knows it. Except the same hilarious front office who sit around wondering when the arena will find an additional 114 million dollars and not much else. And trading for Mike Brown doesn't count.

It's getting pretty old isn't it? As we see it most Oilers fans have one of three moves at this point, assuming hope is fading faster than the tan of the lady in your office who came home from Mexico two weeks ago and is still clinging to the dream** This season certainly isn't lost yet and we will cling to the dream until Willis and his math slam the coffin door closed with a depressing annual thud.

DISAPPOINTMENT SHE WROTE

You choose to be disappointed. This is always a popular option among Oilers fans at this juncture of the season. "I really thought this was the year" the thinking goes "surely to goodness they could be higher than (wherever they may sit) what with (insert good players) in the lineup and (insert hot Oiler) playing so well."

The list of good players continues to pile up to the rafters this season and for some this makes things all the more disappointing. People who choose disappointment often turn off the games early from here on out and start cleaning the winter dust off their golf clubs in about 2 weeks.

FRUSTRATION SHE WROTE

You choose to be frustrated. People who go this route are often a source of great amusement to us all in the comments on the site and on twitter. They can often be observed having 5 alarm meltdowns of rage and suggesting things like "Lets all burn our Oilers jerseys in a big pile and get the news helicopter to film it! I know a guy with over 1,000 facebook friends he can get the word out quick!"

As the Oilers lineup continues to stock pile the best young lineup in over 20 years frustration is starting to take the pole position as the emotion of choice among Oilers fans. Watching the team gas one against Minny with NARY A SHOT IN THE SECOND FRAME can make the blood boil real nice don't it?

RESIGNATION SHE WROTE

You can resign yourself that this is the Oilers fate in life and that it also somehow reflects the continued failure of everyone who lives within 1000 miles of Edmonton. We see this all the time too with people saying things like "the Oilers suck, everyone sucks, there is a pothole the size of Delaware outside my house etc etc etc"

We are of the mind that this is the cowards way out of things. We believe that there is absolutely no reason that the Oilers can't address their needs starting today and put together a supporting cast capable of making the Oil a nasty team to play against that may not get any shots in the second against Minny BUT BY THUNDER SOMEONE GONNA GET HURT REAL BAD.

But there is lots and lots of time to talk about what the Oilers are going to need to do.

WHAT YOU GON DO?

We have decided to do what we always do when the Oilers break our hearts: leave. Leave and lick our wounds. And lick limes with tequila shots somewhere people don't have the foggiest idea of what an Oilers is or how they didn't get A SINGLE SHOT IN THE SECOND AGAINST MINNY.

We depart for Iceland in less than 2 weeks. We aren't kidding. And as usual we will be bringing twitter with us the entire time and have also just signed up for Instagram. Because its 2011 and we just heard of it. Give us a follow: wanyegretz.

*That's what she said

**Not actual lady

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Sanaa Montana
March 04 2013, 12:02PM
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Only b!tches deal with emotions.

Oilers team is like the American Constitution: it makes sense on paper-but it holds no weight in reality.

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#2 Ambassador humantorch
March 04 2013, 11:57AM
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Bill wrote:

I find it pretty disturbing that you don't know that 'Iceland' exists. Congratulations on what passed for an education.

LOL a land covered in ice? Yeah right, like anyone would live THERE. What kind of fairy-tale book did that come from?

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#3 justDOit
March 04 2013, 12:03PM
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@Sanaa Montana

Props for the best screen name ever!

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#5 Hemipower
March 04 2013, 04:57PM
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@Rama Lama

Tell me what deal Burke, Tallon and Feaster has done in the last 3 yrs that Tambo should have made instead? Burke is out of a job, Florida is last in the east, and Feaster..... you mean the guy in charge of the flames? Wow. The oilers are 6 points out of the division lead and 5 points out of the last 4 playoff spots AND - playing like crap. Things will improve and hopefully we finish in 8th - 10th in the west and THEN finish firmly in the playoff's next year. This is all part of the rebuild. I for one hope management continues their current course with no knee-jerk trades to screw things up.

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#6 Ambassador humantorch
March 04 2013, 11:27AM
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If your trip to "Iceland" (LOL like that's even a real place) doesn't include an Amsterdam stopover then I don't want to hear about it.

Also, I really want to know what Angela Lansbury photo you would have chosen for my preferred response to OilerSuckitude2013: "Drunken Impotent Rage She Wrote."

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#7 Ambassador humantorch
March 04 2013, 01:17PM
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Seriously you guys... "Iceland?" STOP MAKING THINGS UP. TALK ABOUT REAL PLACES ON THE PLANET FER CHRISSAKES.

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#8 Hemipower
March 04 2013, 01:59PM
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A-Mc wrote:

I bet you its some kind of combination of not having enough real trade assets and a willing trade partner for the ones you do have.

Thank you. It is honestly hard to believe that some people on here think Tambo is some kind of idiot because he has not made any trades like " Cory Potter and a 4th round pick for Datsyuk".No one trades players for someone else's garbage. I don't think there has been one trade this year that I thought "Tambo" missed out on. the apparent lack of brain cells in the comment section is disturbing!

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#10 will
March 04 2013, 02:25PM
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*sigh* I miss the lockout

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#11 106 and 106
March 04 2013, 06:13PM
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@druds

Ouch - did someone pick all the Oilers in this years draft again?

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#12 27Ginge
March 04 2013, 06:34PM
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The more that we, as fans, get to watch Oiler games with/without Taylor Hall, the more we realize that that this kid is without question the straw that stirs the drink. The kid is an absolute gamer and solves problems with effort. A simple and beautiful idea. Yeah, he could be more creative. Yeah, he could be more productive. Yeah, he could play with more caution. But this kid's got serious stones. Something that every fan agrees the Oilers lack. Hall is the absolute emotional leader of this team in his third year in the league.

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#13 DigDeepNBleedBlue
March 04 2013, 09:49PM
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@Oasis

Can't really argue with you, dude. They definitely need to find some fight. Call it pride. Whatever. They need to man up.

It will, however, be nice to see everyone back from injury.

This is how I see it. This team is green, man. And I'm not talking about smokin'. And, those young cats are coming around, regardless of what some stats/people suggest.

Paajarvi IS better this year. Not where we want him, but it's coming. RNH's offence has slipped, but he is playing against the best every night and playing very well defensively. Not to mention he is throwing his body around. Hall is a beast. Hartikianen is winning battles down low. He'll figure out what to do with the puck soon. Lander didn't look too bad before he got hurt and the Tre Kroner line had some energy and chemistry. Yak is a rook, but he's gonna be a gunslinger! Schultz can be hot in the O-zone and his defense will get better.

The compete will come. I think they need to be in a position to fight for that last playoff spot in order to learn this. And, to understand it. They're mathematically still able to do that.

The size will come, but there is no need to sell the farm. Why mess it all up just because some think they should. Opinions are like a-holes, dude. Everyone has one. Myself included. That said, I'm sure tough decisions will be made on some players. Either at the TDL or in the off-season.

No issues in ranting, brah. And we have heard this sh*t before, but they did say five years. By my count we are in year 3. Let the haters hate.

It will be nice to scream "f' you" when all this is said and done.

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#14 DJ Dynasty Handbag
March 04 2013, 09:52PM
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Dear fellow Nationers,

like it or not, we are still in a rebuild. thankfully (hopefully) at this point, we're closer to the end than the beginning. we've gone from watching a crappy team without a hope or a chance to watching a less crappy team that's in games most nights - even if they're held shotless in a period. this isn't the first oilers team to have that happen to them, and it won't be the last.

the point is, we're getting better and we're moving in the right direction. all of the suck has landed us some pretty awesome players the likes of which haven't been seen in these parts in DECADES. true, the people in charge are questionable at best, but it's not them you cheer for - it's the jersey with the big oil drop on the front.

when it comes to the question of "to jump or not to jump" on/off the bandwagon....

well that answer is clear as day - love the oilers, hate the oilers, get pissed off at the team, players, management, get let down when they don't live up to your expectations and cheer like hell when they surprise you with their flashes of greatness, but by all means stand by your team. you don't have to like who's in charge, but you should ALWAYS love the team you cheer for - otherwise you're no better than a canucks fan. who the hell would want that?

love, chris

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#15 wiseguy
March 04 2013, 11:50PM
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DSF wrote:

What a crock.

If you can't win a cup when your best young players are on ELC's...just shut it down.

When is Vancouver planning the shut down? Did they announce a dispersal draft? Maybe we can pick up some leftovers.

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#16 pelhem grenville
March 04 2013, 11:21AM
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...arrows pointing down ... not good

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#17 justDOit
March 04 2013, 11:28AM
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My eyes always start to gloss over with all those technical graphs and things. Good thing there are pics of a hot chick to counter all the nerdyness.

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#18 justDOit
March 04 2013, 11:57AM
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Amazing how a bad loss can wipe away someone's sense of humor. Amazing and sad.

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#19 The Oilers Shot Clock
March 04 2013, 12:09PM
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Iceland? I'm down for a vacation. I don't even need to use up any vacation days. I'll just get either the goal lite or the horn to sign in for me everyday. It's cool, no one will notice.

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#20 The Oilers Shot Clock
March 04 2013, 12:17PM
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Hey Bjork, wanna see me increment by 1 up to 99 and then reset back to zero?.....yeah ya do.

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#21 Spydyr
March 04 2013, 12:49PM
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Wanye wrote:

Winning teams sites get hot chicks. We have to blind ourselves with Angela Landsbury to deaden the impact of watching A SECOND PERIOD WITH NO SHOTS

So we can expect Betty White pics soon.

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#22 A-Mc
March 04 2013, 01:26PM
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Ambassador humantorch wrote:

Also, getting back to the topic at hand, someone please explain to me just how in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Eberle that Steve Tambicakes still has a job. I'm hard-pressed to find an NHL GM that's been more ineffective and less of an overall blundering idiot than him since his reign of terror started.

I bet you its some kind of combination of not having enough real trade assets and a willing trade partner for the ones you do have.

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#23 vetinari
March 04 2013, 01:30PM
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Here is a list of the teams this year that had more shots against Minny in the second period than the Oil did last night: EVERYONE!

Oilers-- look how bad you are! The lady in the three photos above is the only Ice Girl that we can land who is willing to be seen in public next to you at this moment. Another game like last night and the Ice Girls will soon be just lipstick smeared on Tambellini's left hand.

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#24 Sanaa Montana
March 04 2013, 01:42PM
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Ambassador humantorch wrote:

Also, getting back to the topic at hand, someone please explain to me just how in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Eberle that Steve Tambicakes still has a job. I'm hard-pressed to find an NHL GM that's been more ineffective and less of an overall blundering idiot than him since his reign of terror started.

You're idolizing man and not looking hard enough.

Eberle can't even save the sorry Oilers, there isn't much he can do for you. There exists only one reality and billions of perceptions. My perception of the NHL GMs' reality is that none of them do very much through out the course of the season to improve or change their teams around for the better.

NHL is a bigger joke than the hopes of an Oiler fan. The league is full of GMs, players and referees that don't do enough to deserve and keep their jobs.

Name me a few of these GMs that are doing a hell of a better job than ST, please. Try to include the moves they made that made you put them in that light.

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#25 mpah
March 04 2013, 01:55PM
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Iceland is a great time, I was there a couple years ago around this time... it's weird seeing them not really celebrate St Patricks day, yet stay out till 5-6 am drinking.

Enjoy some TOPAS

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#26 A-Mc
March 04 2013, 02:12PM
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Eulers wrote:

Well, how did the ON 5-year party go? Anybody get anywhere with the celebrity babe? And would Wanye hit on her or J Leslie Eberle if he could only choose one?

The Answer is JLE

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#28 common sense
March 04 2013, 04:05PM
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No question Tambo will get fired. The only inkling of doubt is only when he gets canned and he can move back to vancouver.

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#29 druds
March 04 2013, 04:57PM
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I think its time to bring Glenn Sather back and we pretend its 1978 again....ahhhhhhh....I feel better already

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#30 LOIL99
March 04 2013, 11:16PM
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I am not sure why, after the Oil finishing 29th last year, everyone expected playoffs this year?

Our best players are all still in their first contract, FIRST! They are all 23 or younger! The Sedins did not score 50 pts until they were 26 years old. Nuge, Hall and Ebs all reached that plateau before they turned 22.

RELAX. Yes there are things that need fixing but RELAX. If the Oil arent strong contenders when these kids are 24-28 years old THEN its time to panic. Not when they are still in their FIRST contracts.

RELAX.

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#31 DSF
March 04 2013, 11:20PM
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@LOIL99

What a crock.

If you can't win a cup when your best young players are on ELC's...just shut it down.

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#32 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
March 05 2013, 07:28AM
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DSF wrote:

What a crock.

If you can't win a cup when your best young players are on ELC's...just shut it down.

edit: to the nation, please forgive my moment of weakness. i almost went down another dsf wormhole by pointing out the la kings in response.

i will go watch boys on the bus 10 times over to cleanse myself

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#33 Spurzey
March 05 2013, 08:05AM
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We need Sid the Kid to call us a "mickey mouse organization"

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#36 bookofloob
March 04 2013, 11:40AM
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Lil Wayne and Angela Lansbury should collaborate.

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#37 Ambassador humantorch
March 04 2013, 11:41AM
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Wanye wrote:

Oh it does. Globally they are right next door to each other.

EXCITEMENT SHE WROTE

Are you really going to make it over here? DON'T PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS, SIR.

#SQUEE

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#38 Bill
March 04 2013, 11:45AM
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Ambassador humantorch wrote:

If your trip to "Iceland" (LOL like that's even a real place) doesn't include an Amsterdam stopover then I don't want to hear about it.

Also, I really want to know what Angela Lansbury photo you would have chosen for my preferred response to OilerSuckitude2013: "Drunken Impotent Rage She Wrote."

I find it pretty disturbing that you don't know that 'Iceland' exists. Congratulations on what passed for an education.

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#39 justDOit
March 04 2013, 12:04PM
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@Ambassador humantorch

Almost as hilarious as a land covered in GREEN!

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#40 justDOit
March 04 2013, 12:29PM
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@The Oilers Shot Clock

Shouldn't you be keeping track of how many times Martin slides past the hog line?

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#41 Cody anderson
March 04 2013, 12:30PM
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I am dissapointed in at least the lack of effort to add a replacement for Horcoff. I thought the team would compete for the fial spot......and if your in the running....you never know.

We are looking a lot like we have a shot at our 4th 1st overall in a row. Would that get us in the record books?

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#43 justDOit
March 04 2013, 12:35PM
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Wanye wrote:

No for real I am - late March!

Very cool. I've read that those ice-locked citizens really let loose when the ol fireball in the sky visits them. And any country that actually JAILS banksters for defrauding the public gets a bazzillion upvotes.

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#45 Crispy
March 04 2013, 01:14PM
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@Bill

Iceland might be a country... For now. I hear that the polar ice cap is retreating so soon Iceland will be nothing when it melts.

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#46 A-Mc
March 04 2013, 01:17PM
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The Oiler game last night cut me. Deep. It kicked me in the pills so hard that i haven't an ounce of fight left in me.

My feelings are hurt and only pitchers of beer are going to make it better.

Congrats Oilers, You've driven me to Curling. I'm going to be drinking away my Oiler woes while attending the Brier sporadically through out the week.

Even the Alberta Curling team would get more shots vs minny than the Oilers... *sad panda*

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#47 Crispy
March 04 2013, 01:20PM
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Ambassador humantorch wrote:

LOL a land covered in ice? Yeah right, like anyone would live THERE. What kind of fairy-tale book did that come from?

Right, I think it was from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. My bad.

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#48 Ambassador humantorch
March 04 2013, 01:20PM
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Also, getting back to the topic at hand, someone please explain to me just how in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Eberle that Steve Tambicakes still has a job. I'm hard-pressed to find an NHL GM that's been more ineffective and less of an overall blundering idiot than him since his reign of terror started.

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#49 John
March 04 2013, 01:54PM
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So for realzies, why the hell cant they play the kids against the 3rd and 4th lines, line matching as they did last year. The excuses I've heard are that they need to learn how to play the big linesand work one their defensice game. Why? Thats why you have experienced 3rd lines, horcoff, smyth (to some extent) jones etc or the more experienced 2nd line. I'd rather teach my young guns how to win and score against lesser competition, then throw them into the frying pan and show them whats its like to get beaten every game. They aren't ready for the big first lines yet, we have proven it this year time and time again. You can't match up lines every shift. BUT PUT SOME FREAKING EFFORT INTO IT. PS The "for realzies" comment was just a sad cry for attention.

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#50 Joe Nosabonada
March 04 2013, 01:56PM
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I don't know why everyone is complaining about the Oilers lack of offence in the 2nd period, As I saw the Oilers were totally offensive the entire period.

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