DALLAS

Wanye
June 10 2013 03:17PM

 

Now that the dust has settled on the third coaching change for the Mighty Oil in the last 5 years it is time to do what we Oilers fans do best. Debate the shuffling of the deck chairs on the Titanic while the good teams battle it out for the Stanley Cup.

Was giving the Thirteenth Head Coach the ol' Georgie Burnett after 48 games and no real training camp the right move for the Mighty Oil? Let's get to it.

THIS IS A BAD MOVE

 

This is a team that is essentially veteran free - especially with rumours flying about that Hemsky and Horcoff are on their way out of town. There is a perfectly valid train of thought that this team needs a massive dose of NHL experience at every level, and the Head Coach is an excellent place to start.

Instead they are plugging an unknown variable into whatever the hell this team is at the moment. It's kind of like hiring a brand new sherpa to lead your expedition up Everest. Ain't nobody in your climbing crew seen the top of the mountain, but you are paying someone as though they know what they are doing. With zero climbs under his sherpa yak skin belt.

For the folks in this camp bringing in Dallas Eakins - an able AHL Coach without a single NHL win to his name - whilst Scott Howson collects a cheque to "provide insight" up in the press box is almost too much to bear. Oh yeah, and what's up with firing Krueger over Skype? They will fly all over hells half acre in a private jet to fluff Heatley but won't cross the pond to fire their HC after a mere 48 games?

Good heavens.

THIS IS A GOOD MOVE

Based on absolutely nothing in the way of actual knowledge beyond half listening to MacT's press conference and reading twitter while our Level Four town hall is being constructed in Clash of the Clans we can't help but think that MacT's reasoning went something like this.

In addition to needing to address several massive holes in the Oilers lineup as quick as can be MacT knows that making the Oilers tough to play against is job #1. This involves going out and getting toughians in bulk and retooling team strategy to make giving facewashes and punishing after whistle scrums a priority.

If the 2013 playoffs have taught us anything outside of StreakCred being life ruiningly addictive it's that not only would our beloved Oilers fail to win a single game if they were playing in the post season but that most of the Oilers would suffer career ending injuries in the first period of the first game of the first round.

This needs to change.

Hordichuk played like 8 minutes the entire season. Mike Brown showed he was able to jackhammer fools with his fists on a regular basis too. Yet Krueger seemed unwilling to ice the bashers - even against teams that were going to run the Oil out of the building on most nights. 

No sense going and getting a bunch of assets your Head Coach won't play. So you gas the guy, get a Coach that has a track record running a team in the style of play you want and then go about making yourself a whole lot tougher.

If this is the case then MacT may be onto something.

NO SUCH THING AS A BAD MOVE

We like MacT. Straight up. He speaks his mind, probably ain't afraid to tell K-Lowe to shove it when he tries to meddle and is making moves. At this point in the Oilers rebuild they need to make moves. Anything. Just do something*

So what do you figure. Is this a good move or a bad move? Or perhaps you would like to discuss Iron Man 3 in the comments. We saw it over the weekend and it was pretty decent.

OH YEAH-

ANYONE SEE WHAT MRS DALLAS EAKINS LOOKS LIKE? AND SHE HAS A TWIN SISTER! 

AI PAPI

*Except trade Jordan Eberle

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 WheresYourTowel
June 10 2013, 03:27PM
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At least on Skype you can look a person in the eye... sort of.

I especially like the new coaches unflappable demeanor when unflappably pursuing uflappabilitude.

Non-negotiable fitness level sounds like a conversation my wife had with me around New Year's.

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#2 Randaman
June 10 2013, 03:29PM
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Can we get someone who actually writes something of substance? Go to the NBA if you want to wear a hoody and act like a gang menber.

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#4 geoilersgist
June 10 2013, 03:39PM
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I think this will be good. I also don't think Ralphy got a fair deal but thats the way life is. Hopefully MacT keeps dropping the hammer on fools

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#6 Oilcan
June 10 2013, 03:48PM
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When I heard her name was Ingrid I pictured a 60 year old women still hand washing clothes, and hanging them outside on a daily basis...I WAS WAY OFF! WOW! Well done Dallas, if he can find hockey talent like he finds "talent" Oil are in great hands!

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#7 DoubleA34
June 10 2013, 03:48PM
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All we're doing is replacing the islanders as the laughing stock of the league

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#8 Wanyes bastard child
June 10 2013, 03:50PM
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I geeked out a lil when you mentioned clash of clans O.o

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#9 Matt Henderson
June 10 2013, 03:51PM
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Wanye wrote:

YEAH SERIOUSLY WHATS WITH THIS WEBSITE LATELY IT HAS GOTTEN SO LOW BROW

*makes farting noises with armpit*

LOUD NOISES!!

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#10 BigOil
June 10 2013, 03:52PM
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Wanye is talking to himself again. Someone at Nation HQ, please find his meds.

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#11 Bicepus Maximus - Huge fan boy!
June 10 2013, 03:53PM
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Wanye wrote:

Now that the dust has settled on the third coaching change for the Mighty Oil in the last 5 years it is time to do what we Oilers fans do best. Debate the shuffling of the deck chairs on the Titanic while the good teams battle it out for the Stanley Cup.

This is one of your best!

*mysteriously looks up from under the hood of his hoodie and flashes a gang sign to pay respects*

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#12 jeanshorts
June 10 2013, 03:54PM
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Randaman wrote:

Can we get someone who actually writes something of substance? Go to the NBA if you want to wear a hoody and act like a gang menber.

I've been saying for years that hoodies are the single biggest threat to bring down civilization as we know it!

THIS GUY'S THINLY VEILD RACISM MAKES TOTAL SENSE TO ME!!

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#15 David S
June 10 2013, 04:02PM
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Mrs. Dallas Eakins:

http://www.eforu.com/cards/pictures/ingridkavelaars/16.jpg

It appears our new coach seems to know a thing or two about scoring!

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#16 vetinari
June 10 2013, 04:03PM
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I said it before and say it again: being the coach of the Edmonton Oilers is like being the drummer for Spinal Tap...

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#17 jeanshorts
June 10 2013, 04:03PM
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Wanye wrote:

The Bilderberg Group is addressing this very issue at their meeting as we speak i'd wager

Well I can tell you for certain they're NOT talking about it at the Bohemian Grove, that's for sure.

*Looks around nervously*

*Immediately goes missing*

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#19 Klima's Mullet
June 10 2013, 04:08PM
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Randaman wrote:

Can we get someone who actually writes something of substance? Go to the NBA if you want to wear a hoody and act like a gang menber.

The guy you are complaining about is one of the originators of this site for you to vomit your anti-social, hater comments. Have some respect and ask your loved ones for a sense of humor for Christmas.

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#20 Puritania
June 10 2013, 04:08PM
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Randaman wrote:

Can we get someone who actually writes something of substance? Go to the NBA if you want to wear a hoody and act like a gang menber.

Man, if only the site owner knew about this clown Wanye writing for his site. HEADS WOULD ROLL.

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#21 tileguy
June 10 2013, 04:12PM
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Wayne said If the 2013 playoffs have taught us anything outside of StreakCred being life ruiningly addicted it's that not only would our beloved Oilers fail to win a single game if they were playing in the post season but that most of the Oilers would suffer career ending injuries in the first period of the first game of the first round.

I said "I hope he understands and has a gameplan that will allow smurfs to play against men. Kids against kids is one thing, RNH against big men is another."

Willis said " The Oilers are, on average, two pounds lighter than the Chicago Blackhawks.

Do they need to get bigger? Yes. Is it going to be particularly hard to get to a point where they're big enough? Not really." Who is right?

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#22 baggedmilk
June 10 2013, 04:13PM
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Wanye wrote:

YEAH SERIOUSLY LETS GET IT TOGETHER HERE PEOPLE I WHOLLY CONCUR WITH RANDAMAN AND HIS QUASI RACIST COMMENTARY

If you want more substance just let me know and I'll bang something out for you. That being said, I only have the keys on home row.

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#23 Matt Henderson
June 10 2013, 04:15PM
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@baggedmilk

Unless the Oilers draft more Finns you might need more vowels than "A"

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#25 Pajamah
June 10 2013, 04:17PM
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Wanye wrote:

Excellent Bohemian Grove reference.

*puts on orgy mask, grabs copy of UN Charter of Freedoms*

NSA, Edward Snowden, TOPICAL!!!!!

*Obama'd

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#26 vetinari
June 10 2013, 04:17PM
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The team will seat Dallas Eakins' wife directly behind the bench for every game, right? RIGHT????

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#27 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 04:18PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Well I can tell you for certain they're NOT talking about it at the Bohemian Grove, that's for sure.

*Looks around nervously*

*Immediately goes missing*

*Pays respects to giant owl*

*and jeanshorts*

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#28 baggedmilk
June 10 2013, 04:21PM
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Wanye wrote:

I'm thinking of writing an article about neutrinos. WAIT THAT WONT WORK THEY LACK SUBSTANCE TOO*

*Big shout out to my masters degree in scientology at MIT

And don't forget, any information you have on anti-matter will be strictly forbidden.

MORE SUBSTANCE!

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#29 Science Bystander
June 10 2013, 04:22PM
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Wanye wrote:

I'm thinking of writing an article about neutrinos. WAIT THAT WONT WORK THEY LACK SUBSTANCE TOO*

*Big shout out to my masters degree in scientology at MIT

I love it when Wayne gets smart for a second. This is spot on and he gives a Bilderberg group reference. People should lip him off more often ha

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#30 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 04:24PM
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Puritania wrote:

Man, if only the site owner knew about this clown Wanye writing for his site. HEADS WOULD ROLL.

For realsies!

What is up with this place?? Isn't there anyone with some power up in here that can axe this "Wayne" guy? What, does he think he is the Gretzky of blogging with a name like "WAYNE"???

Hmmmphh! I'm going to look up Sam Gagne's stats and yell about how he should be traded.

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#31 MKE
June 10 2013, 04:31PM
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Some of you seem to have nothing better to do then b*tch about how bad every article sucks from anyone who writes on this site.

Why the heck do you bother coming here then?

Did mommy take away your xbox again leaving you nothing else to do but troll on the interwebs?

Seriously people. If you think this site sucks so bad....GO AWAY.

No one is forcing you to be here. Get a life. Or buy another xbox

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#32 G Money
June 10 2013, 04:37PM
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Wax Man Riley wrote:

For realsies!

What is up with this place?? Isn't there anyone with some power up in here that can axe this "Wayne" guy? What, does he think he is the Gretzky of blogging with a name like "WAYNE"???

Hmmmphh! I'm going to look up Sam Gagne's stats and yell about how he should be traded.

If Gagne had any substance at all, he would spell his name GANYE.

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#34 Pucker - B class
June 10 2013, 04:38PM
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MKE wrote:

Some of you seem to have nothing better to do then b*tch about how bad every article sucks from anyone who writes on this site.

Why the heck do you bother coming here then?

Did mommy take away your xbox again leaving you nothing else to do but troll on the interwebs?

Seriously people. If you think this site sucks so bad....GO AWAY.

No one is forcing you to be here. Get a life. Or buy another xbox

I'm betting didn't you didn't apply for the Sales job that was posted. Or if you did, you didn't get it. Or if you did and you did get it, Wanye was the only one that interviewed you.

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#35 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 04:39PM
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G Money wrote:

If Gagne had any substance at all, he would spell his name GANYE.

This deserves a giant prop! lol

GANYE for the win!

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#36 Sanaa Montana
June 10 2013, 04:39PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

I've been saying for years that hoodies are the single biggest threat to bring down civilization as we know it!

THIS GUY'S THINLY VEILD RACISM MAKES TOTAL SENSE TO ME!!

ZIMMERMAN IS THAT YOU?.!..

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#37 Sanaa Montana
June 10 2013, 04:40PM
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Wanye wrote:

The Bilderberg Group is addressing this very issue at their meeting as we speak i'd wager

What is Iran's stand on hoodies?

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#38 MKE
June 10 2013, 04:41PM
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Pucker - B class wrote:

I'm betting didn't you didn't apply for the Sales job that was posted. Or if you did, you didn't get it. Or if you did and you did get it, Wanye was the only one that interviewed you.

That really the best you have?

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#39 Tom
June 10 2013, 04:41PM
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Randaman wrote:

Can we get someone who actually writes something of substance? Go to the NBA if you want to wear a hoody and act like a gang menber.

Agreed....What's the deal Wanye? Just tear up the team based on inexperience but don't mention that MacT is also looking for an experienced assistant to help Dallas. Just beat down the inexperience on the ice as well, but don't mention until later in your article that MacT will likely fix this issue as well. If you don't have something of value to add put away your laptop.

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#40 MKE
June 10 2013, 04:42PM
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Wanye wrote:

Actually I am forced to be here as part of my parole conditions. I'm not allowed within 100 feet of a cardboard Myley Cyrus cutout of any kind and I'm obligated to troll 18 hours a day.

Sidebar: Top drawer commentary fun today everyone. WELL DID

Ha ha well did indeed

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#42 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 04:47PM
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Wanye wrote:

A LAPTOP? WHO AM I SERGEI BRIN AND OR LARRY PAGE?

*pats apple II comfortingly*

The co-founders of Google? That Sergei Brin and Larry Page.

God, OilersNation, read a book.*

*said in the voice of Sterling Archer

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#43 MKE
June 10 2013, 04:48PM
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I do have to disagree with you wayne. I do see this playing out well.

I believe as you would say...he has da skillzzzzz to pay da billzzz

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#44 A-Mc
June 10 2013, 04:49PM
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Eakins has been brought in for 1 reason: for his wife to motivate the team and the fans.

How will he (we)/(SHE) achieve this?

Refer to the following picture from a Vancouver game sometime in 2011.. or something, i forget.

what?

http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/6136/16747952.png

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#45 G Money
June 10 2013, 04:49PM
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Wanye wrote:

A LAPTOP? WHO AM I SERGEI BRIN AND OR LARRY PAGE?

*pats apple II comfortingly*

Oh excuse me Mr. Great and Powerful *looks behind the curtain* Wanye, but do you not mean

SERGYE and LARYE

the founders of

GOOGYE?

Man, anyone know how I can get paid to do this full-time?

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#47 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 04:55PM
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G Money wrote:

Oh excuse me Mr. Great and Powerful *looks behind the curtain* Wanye, but do you not mean

SERGYE and LARYE

the founders of

GOOGYE?

Man, anyone know how I can get paid to do this full-time?

Ask Wanye.... apparently it's working for him.

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#48 OilClog
June 10 2013, 04:55PM
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I'm willing to bet, Mrs. Eakins make one delicious batch of bacon. Baked in the oven.. none of the pan fried crap!

I usually have aout 4-5 strips of crisp bacon hidden in the front pouch of my hoodie.. Nothing makes gangster friends like Bacon.

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#50 OilClog
June 10 2013, 04:58PM
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GanYeezy presents a Cold Winter.. b!tch don't kill my vibe!

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