A TRADE PROPOSERS DREAM...

Jason Gregor
July 24 2013 11:03AM

The day is finally here. Shea Weber can officially be traded. OMG.

I'm sure Craig MacTavish had a reminder in his phone to call David Poile this morning.

And the conversation went something like this....**

MacT: David, my man, what is happening. You been to Tootsies lately?

Poile: MacT, things are well. I only go to Tootsies during the season. I like to interact with the fans.

MacT: Smart. I just go to the bar outside our dressing room at Rexall. Some nights I need a beer just to watch our games...Anyways... I was thinking we should talk about a Weber deal.

Poile: Are you serious?

MacT: I've received loads of emails from fans outlining what it would take, so I want you to hear them. I've had a tough summer.

Poile: Awesome. I love fan proposals. Usually they are very fair.

MacT: How about Nick Schultz, Ales Hemsky, a 2014 first rounder and Linus Omark. He's the best forward not in the NHL.

Poile: Good one. I'll take two guys with one year remaining on their deals, and a guy who is great in shootouts. My fans would love it. I think my owner would be even happier. He's paid Weber $27 million for 48  games. I'm sure he wants to sell low now. You got any other offers, I need a good laugh.

MacT: You bet. My inbox had lots, plus when I listen to Gregor's show I hear some beauties from callers and texters.

Poile: One day I'd love to announce one of those trades. Just for fun. Too bad you can't make trades on April Fools Day.

MacT: Okay...how about this one... (laughs)... Jeff Petry, Ales Hemsky, Teemu Hartikainen, he was just invited to Finland's Olympic camp, Marc Arcobello, he's a skilled forward, and Omark, the best player not in...(bursts out laughing)... Sorry I can't even finish that statement. Best player not in NHL...Have any of those guys ever panned out.

Poile: Don't get me started. F*&*(#)* Radulov. They should have called him best floater not in the NHL. You thought Penner was a floater, hell, at least Penner had a pulse, a sense of a humour and he'd fill up on pancakes in the morning. Radulov loved vodka and late night clubs. That prick would booze it up in the playoffs. Now I'm annoyed. Any proposals that don't involve me bending over and holding my feet?

Mact: I love hearing you get riled up. I guess Pens wasn't that bad after all, and he is funny.

Poile: I'm going to go on a fanboard site and say you like him and tried to sign him.

MacT: Screw you, I had some people in Edmonton actually think he'd be a good fit for our team. So... honestly what will it take to get Weber.

Poile: I've paid him $27 million the past 12 months for 48 (*$&#()@ games. I'd need a lot. I'd need one of Hall, Eberle or Yakupov, and then Gagner plus something else. My fans are rabid, but after Weber, Rinne and Mr. Underwood they couldn't name two players. I need offence, and you have a lot of it. You pick which winger to give me along with Gagner and your 2014 first rounder...

MacT: That is steep. Can't do it.

Poile: How about I take Omark in the deal.

MacT: I can't give you one of those kids, Gagner AND Omark. The fans would revolt. Most believe he could be the main piece in the Weber deal. Good grief Dave, wake up.

Poile: (laughs)... Now you're fired up...So one of the kids and Gagner is a no go?

MacT: Will you throw in Rinne with Weber?

Poile: We're done. See you in late November....I'll take you to Tootsies. I have a VIP table. Do me a favour and bring some of those emails, I'll likely need a good chuckle.

**This was not an actual conversation...Well, we can't confirm that it was...**

RECENTLY BY JASON GREGOR 

 

Ddf3e2ba09069c465299f3c416e43eae
One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#1 Spydyr
July 24 2013, 06:25PM
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voom04 wrote:

Paul Coffey 79-80-Kitchener Rangers-52games 19g52a71pts 80-81 Oil 74games9g23a32pts+-(-15) Justin Schultz 2012-13-Oakcity barons34games18g30a48pts+-(+8) 12-13 Oil 48games8g19a27pts+-(-17)

You obviously never seen Coffee skate in person.

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#2 YFC Prez
July 24 2013, 11:12AM
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Fairly intelligent suggested trades from our fan base? Aren't they always. Especially for weber?

this article gave me a good chuckle. Thanks Jason

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#3 match16
July 24 2013, 11:13AM
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Good stuff

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#4 TeeVee
July 24 2013, 11:13AM
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Weber for Hemsky, Klefbom and a 1st.

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#5 TonyDanzaPervo
July 24 2013, 11:14AM
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What the hell was the point of this?

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#6 Oilfan69
July 24 2013, 11:14AM
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Wayne is that you? :)

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#7 Mikey
July 24 2013, 11:15AM
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Gregor, I think you seriously under value Omark.

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#8 Nick
July 24 2013, 11:18AM
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TonyDanzaPervo wrote:

What the hell was the point of this?

If you missed the point, then we can't help you. We've had to read about asinine trade proposals regarding Weber for months. This is spoof on those.

Good stuff Gregor, made me laugh. Especially because some fans actually believe their proposals are fair. Guys in my office are loving reading this, because one of them has argued for months we should get Weber and he kept including Omark. Awesome.

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#9 TeeVee
July 24 2013, 11:19AM
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TonyDanzaPervo wrote:

What the hell was the point of this?

So we could all start being silly again.

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#10 Zamboni Driver
July 24 2013, 11:20AM
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The Omark stuff always is good for a chuckle.

A guy who couldn't play on the worst team in the NHL really is just misunderstood.

Yeah, but he had all those points in SWITZERLAND or wherever.

Feel free to correct me, but understand...I don't know and I don't care.

Makes me wistful for those carefree days of thinking Robbie was going to light it up and come back to haunt us.

*sigh*

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#11 Grahaeme
July 24 2013, 11:21AM
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Mikey wrote:

Gregor, I think you seriously under value Omark.

Nice one Gregor. I can only hope the Nation recognises the irony.

#havemydoubts

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#12 MG
July 24 2013, 11:23AM
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This might possibly be the best thing I've ever read on this site, if not among the top contenders. Thanks for the laugh!

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#13 Mumbai Max
July 24 2013, 11:23AM
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Do we still have the NHL rights to Alexei Mikhnov and Jani Rita? We could throw them in! Two of the top 1000 hockey players to never make the NHL. They could form an entire line with Omark.

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#14 book¡e
July 24 2013, 11:24AM
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TonyDanzaPervo wrote:

What the hell was the point of this?

It's July 24th, you figure it out.

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#15 Zamboni Driver
July 24 2013, 11:26AM
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@book¡e

Tony wants us to focus on the huge problem of the absence of a quality RH 4C who can win faceof....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

In July.

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#16 Tim in Kelowna
July 24 2013, 11:28AM
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Haha, Gregor it's a bit early in the day to be crushing pints of Nationbeer.

But seriously, I would hope MacT did make a call this morning. Obviously the price would be steep, but I would be willing to part with a major piece to get Weber.

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#17 G Money
July 24 2013, 11:30AM
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I'd rather trade Omark for Crosby and Hemsky for Doughty. *That's* the ticket.

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#18 The Soup Fascist
July 24 2013, 11:30AM
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Why does everyone assume that Ryan Lochte or Miss South Carolina are managing NHL teams?

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#19 Zamboni Driver
July 24 2013, 11:31AM
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@The Soup Fascist

Well...we did have Tambellini for three years...

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#20 Spydyr
July 24 2013, 11:31AM
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What if we throw in one of Lowe's rings?

He has six you know.

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#21 The Soup Fascist
July 24 2013, 11:31AM
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Zamboni Driver wrote:

Well...we did have Tambellini for three years...

Touche.

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#22 EHH Team
July 24 2013, 11:40AM
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The Soup Fascist wrote:

Why does everyone assume that Ryan Lochte or Miss South Carolina are managing NHL teams?

They're not!!! WTF!!!

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#23 Talbot17
July 24 2013, 11:44AM
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Petry, 2014 1st rounder, Hemsky, Gagner....throw in case of Nationbeer to sweeten the deal (or get Poille drunk enough to take it)

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#24 Lummeropenet
July 24 2013, 11:45AM
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Could very likely be the greatest post i've read on any Oiler Blog.

All I can say Gregor is MORE!!

Did you cut and paste from that Hockey Buzz site?

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#25 oliveoilers
July 24 2013, 11:47AM
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We need to clone Omark. Aint no way Poile's turning down TWO Omarks, no how!

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#26 Pajamah
July 24 2013, 11:47AM
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Don't get me wrong, I am the last guy here who thinks 3-4 spare parts are going to get you one of the top 10 D-men in the game today, but this article is ridiculous.

First off, I guarantee Mac-T doesn't listen to your show, read your blogs, or read your blurbs in the paper. The people who DO however, are typically the people you are insulting with this article.

Sure, they're dreaming, if they think we'll ever get Weber, and sure their trade proposals are asinine.

In the end though, Gregor, calling Oiler fans, and by extension, YOUR fans, idiots, is both indicative of the columns you write, show you host, and is down right pathetic.

As you always say, BE BETTER!

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#27 Taylor Gang
July 24 2013, 11:50AM
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JG, not saying that I want to do this trade, because I hate all the Weber proposals, but do you think Yakupov, Klefbom, Musil and a 2014 first would do it?

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#28 tileguy
July 24 2013, 11:52AM
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pretty hard to "be better" in that article, I was grinnin all the way through.

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#29 Rob...
July 24 2013, 11:52AM
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If we hung a ring of Mundare garlic sausage around Omark's neck do you think we could get interest from the Coyotes?

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#30 Pajamah
July 24 2013, 11:59AM
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tileguy wrote:

pretty hard to "be better" in that article, I was grinnin all the way through.

Oh, it was plenty funny, in a "look how stupid my listeners are" kind of way.

My assumption is media types, be it MSM, bloggers, whoever, all share the common goal of getting more viewer/listener-ship, as it were.

Now say I am your favorite blogger, and I say anyone who uses quotation marks in a comment is mentally retarded. Why in the hell would you read my articles, if I think of you as less than me, and use my position in the media/blogosphere to berate you.

Rule in business, don't purposefully piss off your customers.

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#31 OilersBrass
July 24 2013, 11:59AM
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This is by far one of the funniest things I have ever read.

Awesome, Gregor

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#32 Clarko
July 24 2013, 12:02PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Don't get me wrong, I am the last guy here who thinks 3-4 spare parts are going to get you one of the top 10 D-men in the game today, but this article is ridiculous.

First off, I guarantee Mac-T doesn't listen to your show, read your blogs, or read your blurbs in the paper. The people who DO however, are typically the people you are insulting with this article.

Sure, they're dreaming, if they think we'll ever get Weber, and sure their trade proposals are asinine.

In the end though, Gregor, calling Oiler fans, and by extension, YOUR fans, idiots, is both indicative of the columns you write, show you host, and is down right pathetic.

As you always say, BE BETTER!

Wow...lighten up. First of all, he is only calling out a select few on their asinine trade proposals. Just because somebody proposes something idiotic, doesn't make them an idiot.

Second, you don't know if MacT listens to Gregor's show or read his articles, but more importantly, it doesn't matter. The article was meant to be a spoof on a conversation for fun!

Again...lighten up!!

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#33 The Soup Fascist
July 24 2013, 12:02PM
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Yes please be better, Gregor. I would have preferred if you had broken down the rel Corsi of top 6 NHL forwards under the age of 26, who were born on a Wednesday.

That would be far more entertaining than a fine satirical piece that pokes a little fun at all of us armchair GMs.

Signed, Almost no one.

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#34 nvan97
July 24 2013, 12:06PM
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Weber wouldn't command 1 of the big four. Look at virtually every single star traded in the last 15 years. Almost always involves a good prospect, an underperforming player with good potential and a solid first line, first pairing type of guy. See: Hossa '06, Pronger '05, Pronger '06, Richards '08, Luongo '06. When you trade the star you rarely get a star back.

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#35 oliveoilers
July 24 2013, 12:07PM
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I enjoyed the article. If somebody feels Gregor is calling them an idiot, well if the toque fits......A good end of July, no hockey on the horizon, fun article.

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#36 Pajamah
July 24 2013, 12:07PM
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Clarko wrote:

Wow...lighten up. First of all, he is only calling out a select few on their asinine trade proposals. Just because somebody proposes something idiotic, doesn't make them an idiot.

Second, you don't know if MacT listens to Gregor's show or read his articles, but more importantly, it doesn't matter. The article was meant to be a spoof on a conversation for fun!

Again...lighten up!!

Only my opinion, it doesnt come off satirical, it comes off pretentious and indignant.

I run a 3-4 million dollar business, if I were to send a flyer to all my customers spoofing how they always asked "durr, how come your price is so high?" I guarantee I would lose business.

But hey, Im not in media/journalism, if the majority of people here enjoy this, then great, Gregor did his job well. I just don't find it funny.

To each their own.

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#37 Pajamah
July 24 2013, 12:12PM
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oliveoilers wrote:

I enjoyed the article. If somebody feels Gregor is calling them an idiot, well if the toque fits......A good end of July, no hockey on the horizon, fun article.

Hey, if its a way to stop his listeners from calling or texting in a dumb proposal, fantastic.

I'm pretty sick and tired of the bad proposals too, but it is fun to try and estimate what it would take.

And in that case, I'm pretty much in the same boat as Gregor, probably Eberle, another mid-level roster player, and either a very highly rated prospect, or a mid level and a high pick.

In the end, what I am saying, is leave it to the commenters to hold another of their peers accountable for stupid trade offers, as someone who is trying to increase his share of viewers/listeners, I don't think calling out a section of the fan base will do it.

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#38 Craig1981
July 24 2013, 12:14PM
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Taylor Gang wrote:

JG, not saying that I want to do this trade, because I hate all the Weber proposals, but do you think Yakupov, Klefbom, Musil and a 2014 first would do it?

First ask yourself if the avove are worth 4rst rounders AND 23 million dollars. That's what nashville would need to break even. And you would need to bet breaking even by a large margin. No no no

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#39 tileguy
July 24 2013, 12:16PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Oh, it was plenty funny, in a "look how stupid my listeners are" kind of way.

My assumption is media types, be it MSM, bloggers, whoever, all share the common goal of getting more viewer/listener-ship, as it were.

Now say I am your favorite blogger, and I say anyone who uses quotation marks in a comment is mentally retarded. Why in the hell would you read my articles, if I think of you as less than me, and use my position in the media/blogosphere to berate you.

Rule in business, don't purposefully piss off your customers.

Suppose my fave blogger was newagesystem, and he was to call me "assinine" (mentally retarded is so incorrect), I would thank him twice and wish him a good day. Thank you, thank you.

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#40 Rob...
July 24 2013, 12:22PM
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@Pajamah

Stating that you run a 3-4 million dollar company and eluding to the idea that it makes you an expert in all client/business relations doesn't seem pretentious and indignant?

If you've listened to Gregor's show he slams Omark trade proposals on air too. The fans of the show had better expect it, because it's not out of the ordinary.

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#41 Asian on Oilers Nation
July 24 2013, 12:23PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Don't get me wrong, I am the last guy here who thinks 3-4 spare parts are going to get you one of the top 10 D-men in the game today, but this article is ridiculous.

First off, I guarantee Mac-T doesn't listen to your show, read your blogs, or read your blurbs in the paper. The people who DO however, are typically the people you are insulting with this article.

Sure, they're dreaming, if they think we'll ever get Weber, and sure their trade proposals are asinine.

In the end though, Gregor, calling Oiler fans, and by extension, YOUR fans, idiots, is both indicative of the columns you write, show you host, and is down right pathetic.

As you always say, BE BETTER!

Someone needs to get the "pussy control" here. I think mom agrees.

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#42 StHenriOilBomb
July 24 2013, 12:24PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Don't get me wrong, I am the last guy here who thinks 3-4 spare parts are going to get you one of the top 10 D-men in the game today, but this article is ridiculous.

First off, I guarantee Mac-T doesn't listen to your show, read your blogs, or read your blurbs in the paper. The people who DO however, are typically the people you are insulting with this article.

Sure, they're dreaming, if they think we'll ever get Weber, and sure their trade proposals are asinine.

In the end though, Gregor, calling Oiler fans, and by extension, YOUR fans, idiots, is both indicative of the columns you write, show you host, and is down right pathetic.

As you always say, BE BETTER!

One thing I like about this site is when the bloggers and regulars demand that the commentary BE BETTER.

If this insults someone who proves himself to have never bothered to read or absorb any of the content here by suggesting N.Shultz and Hemsky gets you Weber; so be it. The quality of content is the reason this is one of the only sites' comment sections I bother to scroll.

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#43 Nate
July 24 2013, 12:25PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Don't get me wrong, I am the last guy here who thinks 3-4 spare parts are going to get you one of the top 10 D-men in the game today, but this article is ridiculous.

First off, I guarantee Mac-T doesn't listen to your show, read your blogs, or read your blurbs in the paper. The people who DO however, are typically the people you are insulting with this article.

Sure, they're dreaming, if they think we'll ever get Weber, and sure their trade proposals are asinine.

In the end though, Gregor, calling Oiler fans, and by extension, YOUR fans, idiots, is both indicative of the columns you write, show you host, and is down right pathetic.

As you always say, BE BETTER!

Wow, get a sense of humor...

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#44 Nate
July 24 2013, 12:27PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Oh, it was plenty funny, in a "look how stupid my listeners are" kind of way.

My assumption is media types, be it MSM, bloggers, whoever, all share the common goal of getting more viewer/listener-ship, as it were.

Now say I am your favorite blogger, and I say anyone who uses quotation marks in a comment is mentally retarded. Why in the hell would you read my articles, if I think of you as less than me, and use my position in the media/blogosphere to berate you.

Rule in business, don't purposefully piss off your customers.

Seems to me like you're the only one upset, everyone else enjoyed a good laugh

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#45 Craig MacTambeloweni
July 24 2013, 12:29PM
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@Pajamah

I'm not sure who lit the fuse on your tampon, but I really enjoyed this article. It's easy to be cranky after 7 years of no play offs but thats why these articles are fun. Eager, Omark and our 2014 and 2015 first rounder for Malkin = Stanley cup!!

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#46 Yakman
July 24 2013, 12:31PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Only my opinion, it doesnt come off satirical, it comes off pretentious and indignant.

I run a 3-4 million dollar business, if I were to send a flyer to all my customers spoofing how they always asked "durr, how come your price is so high?" I guarantee I would lose business.

But hey, Im not in media/journalism, if the majority of people here enjoy this, then great, Gregor did his job well. I just don't find it funny.

To each their own.

Yeah, I think you are in the minority on this one. I thought it was hilarious. Humor is very subjective though.

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#47 The Soup Fascist
July 24 2013, 12:35PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Hey, if its a way to stop his listeners from calling or texting in a dumb proposal, fantastic.

I'm pretty sick and tired of the bad proposals too, but it is fun to try and estimate what it would take.

And in that case, I'm pretty much in the same boat as Gregor, probably Eberle, another mid-level roster player, and either a very highly rated prospect, or a mid level and a high pick.

In the end, what I am saying, is leave it to the commenters to hold another of their peers accountable for stupid trade offers, as someone who is trying to increase his share of viewers/listeners, I don't think calling out a section of the fan base will do it.

Sounds like you feel Gregor is treating those with inane trade proposals as "second tier" Nation fans.

No one would be dumb enough to intentionally alienate a large portion of their fan base ...... well almost no one.

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#48 nakmuay
July 24 2013, 12:39PM
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Sucking for almost a decade, inept management and calling certain segments of the fan base second tier is a recipe for empty buildings..... .... .... .... Oh wait a minute, no its not.

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#49 The Beaker
July 24 2013, 12:42PM
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@Craig1981

Thats a bit of a misnomer. They dont need 4 1st rounders and 23 million $. The 4 first rounders are worth significantly less to nashville then really nhl players for a couple of reasons.

1. They cant stay at the bottom of the league forever and continue to exist. They need to keep ppl coming in the door and while 4 1st rounders sounds great to us we live in the land of the draft so... In reality they cannot wait for all those assets to come to fruition.

2. If Philly had landed Weber those first round picks basically would not be top 15 picks guaranteed.

Im not saying that trade proposal is valid or not, just saying the logic that it has to be 4 1st rounders worth of value is flawed.

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#50 Obiwan Eberle - Team Silver Fox
July 24 2013, 12:42PM
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@Pajamah

My favorite part was when you called Gregor pathetic.....on a fan site...

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