GDB Wrap Up: Sabres @ Oilers

baggedmilk
March 20 2014 10:18PM

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Luckily no one gets relegated in the NHL. Final score: 3-1 Sabres

There is nothing that will fire up the Nation more than a 29th vs 30th place battle! Not so long ago (only 8 years *sigh*) I remember sitting at the bar with some buddies and trying to decide who I'd rather the Oilers play in the finals, Carolina or Buffalo. Fast forward to tonight and neither team have anything to play for except draft picks and spoiler statuses. A Sabres/Oilers game has all the allure of milking a tiger, and that is a sad state of affairs.

The Buffalo Sabres are a terrible hockey team. There were periods in this game where the Sabres looked like they would never win another hockey game - the suck knob has been broken clean off in Buffalo. With that being said, our suck knob has been broken for years. Even though there were stints (short ones) where the Oilers dominated the hockey game, they lost to the FUNKIN' SABRES!  Losing to the Sabres is 10 shades of awful, yet we managed to accomplish it with all the style of a jalapeno shart.

Let's wrap this thing up...

The Bright Side

  • Ben Scrivens will stop pucks and break faces if he needs to
  • Justin Schultz has apparently learned about slap shots
  • Lots of AHLers got NHL pay cheques
  • The Power Play actually looked like an actual Power Play

The Face Palmers

  • Losing to the Sabres should result in 50 lashes and not the sexy kind either
  • The safe word for Oilers name is the sound of weeping adults
  • The shorthanded 2 on 1s are almost comical at this point
  • Getting booed because you lost to the Sabres is bad news
  • Ales Hemsky may have scored the goal of the year *sigh*

Best of the Tweets

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94ea28cbbd0f9fe4153692bb3e38b40c
Twitter tyrant for @OilersNation - Resident Jackass - Poor vessel for carrying milk. Follow me on twitter (@jsbmbaggedmilk) - Instagram (@himynameisbaggedmilk) or email me at baggedmilk@oilersnation.com.
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#2 Soccer Steve
March 20 2014, 10:23PM
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Hemsky for goal of the year.

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#3 hallsyoilerforever5
March 20 2014, 10:25PM
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Hope the ones that want the oilers to desperately lose and tank for Ekblad are satisfied. Losing at home, especially to the last place sabres who were on a losing streak is just disgraceful.

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#4 Anton CP
March 20 2014, 10:26PM
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This wrap up is rather quick...did you have this ready before the buzzer?

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#5 Baresnake
March 20 2014, 10:27PM
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I can't wait for next year!!!

BOOOOO JEANSHORTS!!!!

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#8 beloch
March 20 2014, 10:30PM
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If the Oilers were an American club they'd make a movie out of this season. Bruce Willis (in a wig) would play Eakins and they'd can call it "Tank Hard".

P.S. Yes, I watched, and yes, I'm drunk. It would have been unpossible to watch this game sober.

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#9 albertaboy19
March 20 2014, 10:33PM
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Oilers lose, bandwagon blows up after a collision with John Scott who is trying to complete a cross over. Ben Scrivens punches a photo of Conacher while the rest of the team sings Coom by ya. Eakins breaks out the yoga mats and has the team meditate, while MacT throws out a third and fifth piece of paper after watching the Hemsky goal.

BOOOOOOOO BAGGED MILK

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#10 tileguy
March 20 2014, 10:34PM
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Le sigh.

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#11 Ari Gold
March 20 2014, 10:35PM
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Biggest face palm, those homely Oilers cheerleaders!!

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#12 Ari Gold
March 20 2014, 10:36PM
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Soccer Steve wrote:

Hemsky for goal of the year.

The only way he scores that is in silks of a team other than the Oilers.

I knew it was coming. He's going to be a superstar.

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#14 Mason Storm
March 20 2014, 10:38PM
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baggedmilk wrote:

Next year HAS to be better, right? RIGHT?!?

It sure will be. *turns away in shame from lying to an innocent fan*

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#15 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins
March 20 2014, 10:43PM
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All the style of a jalapeño shart...

My freaking sides, man.

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#16 Anton CP
March 20 2014, 10:46PM
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Ari Gold wrote:

The only way he scores that is in silks of a team other than the Oilers.

I knew it was coming. He's going to be a superstar.

Not a surprised here, Oilers always produce superstars...for other teams.

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#17 Czar
March 20 2014, 10:46PM
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FUNKIN' Oilers!

Back to drinking

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#18 Czar
March 20 2014, 10:51PM
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Conacher looks like Penner's little brother in that pic.

FUNKIN' Conacher!

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#19 Oiler Al
March 20 2014, 10:55PM
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Czar wrote:

Conacher looks like Penner's little brother in that pic.

FUNKIN' Conacher!

FUNKIN LOWE!

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#20 Ari Gold
March 20 2014, 11:02PM
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If we want to be a true NHL team, we need some real talent on that cheerleading team. That looks like my junior high team. Who were the girls that were turned away?? Has Etown lost all of its talent? Anyway, why even talk about the Oil anymore?

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#21 Randy
March 20 2014, 11:04PM
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Watching the game it looked like it was going to be an easy win for the Oilers. Something happened

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#22 Tuningout
March 20 2014, 11:04PM
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Gregor said. Lose to the Sabres and forget all the positives from the previous games. I wonder how he spins his pro Eakins campaign now.

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#23 M22
March 20 2014, 11:06PM
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"I've missed you. Welcome back, old pal."

-- said Rock Bottom to the Oilers.

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#24 **
March 20 2014, 11:08PM
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This is what happens when you call up Big Mac and leave him out of the game.

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#25 **
March 20 2014, 11:09PM
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In other news, Lander sucks.

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#26 BobbyO
March 20 2014, 11:10PM
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Losers!

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#27 **
March 20 2014, 11:10PM
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Tuningout wrote:

Gregor said. Lose to the Sabres and forget all the positives from the previous games. I wonder how he spins his pro Eakins campaign now.

Eazzyy, "it's mostly on the players, because the players are the ones who play".

How can you argue with that logic?.

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#28 Rob F
March 20 2014, 11:14PM
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@Oiler Al

Funkin Hemsky!

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#29 RexHolez
March 20 2014, 11:14PM
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did hemmer score that goal or was I dreaming? we should trade for that guy, think a 3rd round pick would do it?

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#30 Rick Stroppel
March 20 2014, 11:18PM
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Ari Gold wrote:

Biggest face palm, those homely Oilers cheerleaders!!

DO NOT PICK ON THE CHEERLEADERS!

They look like attractive young women to me and they try hard.

Speaking of "palm", Mr. Huge, you sound like the sort of fellow who is dating Mrs. Palm and the Finger Sisters.

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#31 RexHolez
March 20 2014, 11:20PM
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oh look, the oilers played tonight too. who'd they play?? buffalo? that's easy buffalo sucks, our record is the 4th best team in the league since....??? what they lost? haha pathetic once again... how we gonna spin this one??

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#32 dougtheslug
March 20 2014, 11:23PM
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After the first period, I was thinking "Man, that Buffalo teams looks a lot like Latvia, the way they played against Team Canada".

After the the second period, I was thinking, "Man, this game looks a lot like Latvia vs Norway."

After the third period, I was trying to think of a Southern Hemisphere country that would complete the joke. Latvia vs...New Zealand? Fiji? Western Samoa?

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#33 RexHolez
March 20 2014, 11:23PM
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I know, lets go back to saying we want the higher draft pick again!! ya, that'll work

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#34 ColourMeImpressed
March 20 2014, 11:23PM
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Eakins needs to go.

I'm sorry, but after like, 70 games... to lose to the Sabres on top of the entire season? GET FIRED, FVCKFACE.

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#35 hagargt
March 20 2014, 11:23PM
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There is absolutely no end to the ups and downs of the oilers. This team is stuck in some sort of hockey purgatory. Still a fan, but man is it awkward to even praise any sign of improvement. It's downright awkward to even get the slightest bit happy after a win. You just know it means nothing at some near time. Kinda feels like falling for the same lie over and over. You know it isn't true after the 10th time, but hope the 11th time it might actually be.

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#36 Quicksilver ballet
March 20 2014, 11:27PM
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Muwahahahahahahahhahaaaa!

6-2 Flames on Saturday. Another blessing in disguise for you beginner hockey fans.

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#37 dougtheslug
March 20 2014, 11:30PM
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hagargt wrote:

There is absolutely no end to the ups and downs of the oilers. This team is stuck in some sort of hockey purgatory. Still a fan, but man is it awkward to even praise any sign of improvement. It's downright awkward to even get the slightest bit happy after a win. You just know it means nothing at some near time. Kinda feels like falling for the same lie over and over. You know it isn't true after the 10th time, but hope the 11th time it might actually be.

http://youtu.be/Rp6-wG5LLqE

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#38 Serious Gord
March 20 2014, 11:33PM
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Epically bad year.

Yet I'm trying to get four tickets to an upcoming game to take a kid to his first ever NHL game and there is next to nothing available that isn't 360$ or the last row in the place.

No one can ever say that Edmonton and area isn't NHL hockey-crazed.

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#39 Pouzar99
March 20 2014, 11:33PM
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I hope the mysterious flock of 'new,' rah rah "Oilers are great" posters tone it down a bit, now. Yes, the boys have played better lately I'm glad to say but this is a painful reminder of just how bad and utterly uninspired they can still be at the drop of a hat. A 29th place team that takes the 30th place team for granted has a lot of Chutzpah.

Frankly, Scrivens did very well to hold it to three goals. Apart from Hall, who skated a few million miles, the rest seemed to think that showing up would be enough. This may have been their ugliest game of the year, which is really saying something. If they play like that against the Ducks or Sharks, small children will have to be refused admission.

The Oilers are still a long, long way from being a playoff team, let alone competing for anything more, especially as long as the strategically-impaired head coach is grinding the line shifts out of a blender, as Eakins was again tonight. Hopefully no one will dig up an arcane statistic to claim the team is actually improving under Eakins. I concede that the anthem singing is better, but I think that covers it. Every single one of our young 'stars' has regressed under his tutelage. If there is a stronger ground for firing a coach I would like to know what that is.

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#40 kale
March 20 2014, 11:35PM
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Well according to MAcT the coaches are really getting into a rythem, and according to others its not the coaches its just the players are not good enough...I sure hope MacT makes some additions this summer so that we can beat the 30th place team

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#41 RexHolez
March 20 2014, 11:37PM
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Quicksilver ballet wrote:

Muwahahahahahahahhahaaaa!

6-2 Flames on Saturday. Another blessing in disguise for you beginner hockey fans.

umm, ok! the flames who just started to rebuild is winning and competing while the oilers 8 years later are still the pathetic joke in pro sports! lucky us!!

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#42 Quicksilver ballet
March 20 2014, 11:38PM
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Witnessed these two Oiler athletic supporters in a luxury suite at Rectal place this evening.

http://youtu.be/NpYEJx7PkWE

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#43 Dan
March 20 2014, 11:43PM
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Pouzar99 wrote:

I hope the mysterious flock of 'new,' rah rah "Oilers are great" posters tone it down a bit, now. Yes, the boys have played better lately I'm glad to say but this is a painful reminder of just how bad and utterly uninspired they can still be at the drop of a hat. A 29th place team that takes the 30th place team for granted has a lot of Chutzpah.

Frankly, Scrivens did very well to hold it to three goals. Apart from Hall, who skated a few million miles, the rest seemed to think that showing up would be enough. This may have been their ugliest game of the year, which is really saying something. If they play like that against the Ducks or Sharks, small children will have to be refused admission.

The Oilers are still a long, long way from being a playoff team, let alone competing for anything more, especially as long as the strategically-impaired head coach is grinding the line shifts out of a blender, as Eakins was again tonight. Hopefully no one will dig up an arcane statistic to claim the team is actually improving under Eakins. I concede that the anthem singing is better, but I think that covers it. Every single one of our young 'stars' has regressed under his tutelage. If there is a stronger ground for firing a coach I would like to know what that is.

just incase someone skipped by it^^^ read it again

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#44 Doc Savage
March 20 2014, 11:43PM
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RexHolez wrote:

did hemmer score that goal or was I dreaming? we should trade for that guy, think a 3rd round pick would do it?

No. Ottawa would have to eat half his salary too.

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#45 **
March 20 2014, 11:45PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

Epically bad year.

Yet I'm trying to get four tickets to an upcoming game to take a kid to his first ever NHL game and there is next to nothing available that isn't 360$ or the last row in the place.

No one can ever say that Edmonton and area isn't NHL hockey-crazed.

What did that poor kid do to you?. You don't look hard enough, I'm going to the Colorado-Edm for 80 dollars, on the higher bowl, so I'm sure you can find nose bleeders for cheaper than that.

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#46 bazmagoo
March 20 2014, 11:45PM
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@Tuningout

It does amaze me, confuse me, and amuse me that the Oilers "braintrust" can't realize they've made a mistake with the Eakins hiring, it just seemed so obvious from pretty much the get go and continues to be overwhelmingly obvious. I wonder what the NHL record is for ineptitude in reaching the playoffs? According to Wikipedia it's 10 seasons, only two seasons to go! If we hit 11 seasons does Lowe get fired?

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#47 that_guy
March 20 2014, 11:46PM
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Nothing on the top but a bucket and a mop and an illustrated book about birds, see a lot out there but dont be scared, who needs action when you got words.

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#48 RexHolez
March 20 2014, 11:49PM
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#oilerpositives - tonights game will in no way affect Eberle's commercial filming schedule

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#49 james_dean
March 20 2014, 11:55PM
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Tron funkin blowes

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#50 bazmagoo
March 20 2014, 11:58PM
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When we miss the playoffs next season due to a slow start before Eakins gets fired we will be one of 4 NHL franchises that has missed the post season 9 years in a row, throughout the leagues history. Only the Florida Panthers from 1999/2000 to 2011/2012 will have been worse, at ten seasons.

This is what the Oilers have been reduced to. Pathetic.

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