BAGGEDMILK'S 3 THOUGHTS - the Oilers, the Draft, and the Playoffs

baggedmilk
June 11 2014 01:42PM

ThinkingMonkey

When I'm not finding ways to give away Wanye's Oodle Noodle GCs or planning my Nation takeover, I'm a very deep thinker.  I often stare out the window and think of the day's hot topics. I come up with solutions to the world's problems, theories on macro economics, and upsetting realization that I'm still an Oilers fan despite my better judgement. Today, I present the first edition of baggedmilk's 3 thoughts - take that Elliotte Friedman!

#1. CRAIG RAMSAY ENDS THE REIGN OF KELLY BUCHBERGER... KINDA

ramsay_craig_0809

You know how a weatherman can incorrectly predict the weather for months on end and it never seems to affect his job? Kelly Buchberger is the Oilers' weatherman. This guy has been around since the dawning of time, and regardless of how many head coaches have come and gone, he's stayed on the bench through it all. It's amazing when you think about it.

Since joining the Oilers coaching staff for the 2008-09 season, the Oilers record in the Buchberger era is 170-233-55. Lest we forget, in that same time span the Oilers have gone through 383 head coaches. It's amazing that the guy has lasted through so many regimes. You can't tell me that not one of those head coaches didn't want him gone?  Even when he does get fired, he's not really fired. Buchberger gets another job in player development, which to me seems like he'll be watching TV, sending notes, and collecting pay cheques. The only thing that would make sense is that he is holding some kind of information over management's head. Is it nudes? I bet it's nudes. Nudes totally work -- how do you think I got the job here?

Craig Ramsay, we salute you for being able to do what so many before you have failed to do. Now don't screw this up, or you'll likely be fired after one season, as is tradition around these parts.

#2. WE KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT THE DRAFT

Expert

As the days go on, and the draft articles pile up, it's a punch to the mind that we're in the same position after another season.  The season started out with so much promise and hope, only to end unofficially in November. If the rebuild has a rock bottom, this season has to be close to it. This season was like being told you're getting a new car, but that it's a PT Cruiser. Instead of spending January, February, and March getting ramped up for a playoff push, we were all looking at the standings and draft rankings again. At this point, after 8 years of crap, I'm surprised that most of us aren't being paid to give our draft expertise - lord knows we're capable.

I bet if you ask most fans of Oilers Nation they would be able to give you an opinion on who the Oilers should draft, what their strong points are, and what they need to work on. This annoys the hell out of me.  I want to go into a summer not knowing, or caring, about who the Oilers are going to draft that summer. I don't even want to have an idea. It would actually be awesome if we went into a summer without a first round pick because we traded it at the deadline for a playoff push rental. The idea that most Oilers fans are amateur draft connoisseurs is not only depressing, it's like a yearly kick to the balls of everyone that supports this team. It'll be a good day when none of us have to care about the draft.

#3. I'M HAPPY THE PLAYOFFS ARE ENDING

Over

Another NHL season is winding down and I thought it would make me sad, but in reality it's making me happy. If the Kings can close out the Rangers tonight, I won't have any hockey to watch and it's a relief!  Maybe I'm just bitter that the fans of 16 other teams had something to cheer for beyond the regular season (read October). As the playoffs went on, I got more and more bitter about other teams passing (and lapping) the Oilers in terms of development and consistency. Look at Detroit -- there are college kids that have not lived a day in their life without knowing the Detroit Red Wings as a playoff team. 

Back to our garbage fire, the last time the Oilers played a hockey game was April 12th. Almost 2 full months have passed since we had a 1-3-1 power play to complain about. To make matters worse, the playoffs have been fantastic to watch. The problem with the Oilers being so bad and the playoffs being so good is that it shows us just how far the Oilers actually are from competing. If anything, I'd say the Oilers are closer to relegation than they are to competing for a playoff spot.

The hard part of going into the summer is the feeling of excitement that will surely return as the season gets closer. The draft will come and go, as will free agency, and a lot of us will have that glimmer of hope return that this will be the year that the Oilers finally end the drought. Delusion is a powerful thing. Now that I think of it, maybe I should change my mind and hope the playoffs go on forever? Look what this team has done to me! #ThanksKevin

94ea28cbbd0f9fe4153692bb3e38b40c
Twitter tyrant for @OilersNation - Resident Jackass - Poor vessel for carrying milk. Follow me on twitter (@jsbmbaggedmilk) - Instagram (@himynameisbaggedmilk) or email me at baggedmilk@oilersnation.com.
Avatar
#51 Sketchy
June 11 2014, 05:56PM
Trash it!
4
trashes
Cheers
40
cheers

Ok, you don't have to fire Kevin Lowe. Just reassign him to "player personnel"

Avatar
#52 Bucknuck
June 11 2014, 06:03PM
Trash it!
9
trashes
Cheers
9
cheers

I hope that Kevin Lowe is far enough removed from the people and the negotiations that his passion can't get the better of him. I don't think he's been front and centre for the team since his ridiculous six rings comment.

His passion got in the way in numerous examples (Mike Comrie for Cory Perry comes to mind). But I always thought he was pretty smart, just not as level headed as he needed to be considering the position he was in.

Avatar
#53 OilClog
June 11 2014, 06:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
3
cheers
vetinari wrote:

Bacon... wrapped... boobs? I think you are doing something wrong there buddy.

As for playoff hockey, it has been YEARS since I've had to plan an evening around when a game was going to be played. I now watch games in isolation and I don't think I've watched a full series from start to finish. And I've had to put up with my Hab-loving brother-in-law for the past few weeks chirping about how great they are.

I dunno about you.. But bacon is delicious

Avatar
#54 Sorensenator
June 11 2014, 07:06PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Cheers
10
cheers
Bucknuck wrote:

I hope that Kevin Lowe is far enough removed from the people and the negotiations that his passion can't get the better of him. I don't think he's been front and centre for the team since his ridiculous six rings comment.

His passion got in the way in numerous examples (Mike Comrie for Cory Perry comes to mind). But I always thought he was pretty smart, just not as level headed as he needed to be considering the position he was in.

Maybe if he won six rings as a general manager we would all be obligated to shut our mouths.

He knew about winning as a player, 30 years ago, nothing more.

Avatar
#55 Spydyr
June 11 2014, 07:17PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Cheers
8
cheers
Bucknuck wrote:

It seems like every year, in addition to having a borderline starting line-up, there is a terrible inexplicable thing that happens and it turns what could have been blessed mediocrity into a full scale embarrassment.

Like this year. I know there were question marks around Dubnyk, but no one thought he would be that bad. I sure didn't. Or Gagner taking a stick to the face so that the Oil were short both of their top two centremen.

How about Hemsky getting injured almost every year, and Horcoff never quite being the same after shoulder surgery. Souray and Whitney both got hurt early. RNH missed his Calder bid due to injury.

Every team has setbacks, but the Oil had setbacks to key areas and without the depth to make up for it. So not only did they have a weak roster, but they were terribly unlucky with respect to injuries.

The worm has to turn at some point. It has to happen one of these seasons where some key things happen all at once. The emergence of a #1 d-man would be HUGE. A healthy Gagner reaches the next level before they trade him? If they keep doing the right things, then maybe, just maybe, this year will be different.

After eight years of this year maybe things will be different.Are you not sick the taste of kool-aid yet?

Avatar
#56 Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate
June 11 2014, 07:52PM
Trash it!
3
trashes
Cheers
2
cheers
baggedmilk wrote:

I think I'm going to do it every week. I have many important (read stupid) things to say!

Do this every week?

Fire Fighters on standby?

Could be a big blaze*.

-----------------------------------------

* confused? see my earlier Haiku on Pg 1 (#28)

Avatar
#57 David S
June 11 2014, 07:54PM
Trash it!
3
trashes
Cheers
3
cheers
david s wrote:

You rule baggedmilk!

G*d d@mn copycats!

But yeah, BM kicked the jams out this time for sure.

Avatar
#59 derek rozko
June 11 2014, 09:17PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Cheers
16
cheers

New urban term: oilers fired

Definition: when one is terrible at ones job they are promoted and or moved to another section of the company. Usually holds job through old boys club membership.

In a sentence: " Kevin you are a horrible customer service rep and have been here a long time so you will be oiler fired to vp of sales".

Avatar
#60 Hockey Viking
June 11 2014, 09:46PM
Trash it!
9
trashes
Cheers
6
cheers

Unlike Detroit where college kids cannot remember the last time they were not in the playoffs. My son is 19 just finished First year at UBC) has NEVER SEEN A CANADIAN TEAM WIN THE STANLEY CUP! As a second generation Oiler Fan he has been refused service at a Starbucks for wearing an OILERSNATION HOODY. Bur worst of all he has been my partner in Draft analysis for the Oilers all along and was 11 the last time the OIL were in the playoffs-----HE is still a fan and so am I.

We will turn it around and it starts with us being more +++++++++ and toughing it out. Complaining about Bucky or Kevin L is not the oiler way----we get through this and out the other side---Starting with this Draft and Free Agent/Trade time until Training Camp!!.

Avatar
#61 Chris
June 11 2014, 11:25PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Cheers
1
cheers

I live for the draft

Avatar
#62 Knobby
June 12 2014, 02:46AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
3
cheers

How's this for a mind-bender BM? Bucky is actually the GM and is hiding in plain sight. Eakins through to Katz are simply avatars or synthetic life forms of Bucky's creation. He will always be here and has always been here, like Jack Torrance in the Overlook Hotel. How's that for a night terror for you?

Avatar
#64 A-Mc
June 12 2014, 09:00AM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Cheers
3
cheers
baggedmilk wrote:

I think I'm going to do it every week. I have many important (read stupid) things to say!

Ya that's totally fine.

This is a hockey blog but one of the best parts of Oilers Nation are some of the personalities associated with it. I quite enjoy the Wanye/bm humor injections.

Expressing a fans perspective in a humorous way with out the pressure of being even remotely accurate is actually quite refreshing to read at times =)

As you know, fans on this site can take things a little too seriously sometimes

Avatar
#65 Oiler fan
June 12 2014, 11:17AM
Trash it!
3
trashes
Cheers
3
cheers
David S wrote:

G*d d@mn copycats!

But yeah, BM kicked the jams out this time for sure.

David S insinuating the OIL draft table will be drunk and incopetent by the second round is distasteful at best and inappropriate for sure! He should keep Katz's son out of his cowardly cheap shots as well!

Comments are closed for this article.