The guy who signed Ovechkin is hilariously out of touch


So we were listening to CHED last night, racing home to catch the early 5pm start (damn you to hell, Eastern Standard Tme) and Morley Scott interviews Caps owner Ted “Teddy” Leonsis, an AOL muckity muck who also owns the Washington Wizards. We’e heard in the past that he’s kind of a weirdo, signing Michael Jordon long after he was past his expiry date and throwing good-guy money at bad-guy Jaromir Jagr.

But his interview had us laughing out loud. The purpose was supposedly to get his take on the ownership situation here in E-town. He was going on at length about his ownership style and made a comment to this basic effect:

“I stay in close personal contact with my players. They like that kind of commitment. I am on Facebook, I Facebook my players. I share with them my iPod play list, we have a bond.”

Now granted we haven’t played for the Washington Capitals for awhile now… make that ever. But what NHL player is going to give a squirrel’s fart that his owner is on Facebook. Are any NHL players even on Facebook? And sharing their iPod playlist? Who in the hell cares?!

If this is what “connecting with players is” in the world of Ted Leonsis, then he and Ovechkin will both be sitting on the front porch of a retirement community in 50 years (Ted will be over 110 years old) talking about what could have been:

Ted: It’s too bad we never won a cup, Ovi.

Ovechkin: Da, it’s true. We did all we could, didn’t we?

Ted: I think so. I signed you to a really big, really long term contract severely handicapping the team for over 13 years…

Ovechkin: You sure did. Sorry about all the injuries.

Ted: It’s OK, Ovi. I’d rather pay you to sit in the pressbox than build a good all around team. It worked for Tampa Bay, after all.


Ovechkin: You couldn’t have been on Facebook any more than you were.

Ted: And I did share my playlist all the time.

(70 year old Zach Stortini enters the porch)

Stortini: Anyone want to fight me?

Ovechkin and Ted: No.

(Stortini sighs, a single tear runs down his cheek.)