“There’s nothing worse than the old honking airhorn going off in another team’s building—and you’re right next to the net,” he said. “Then the pump-up song is going … .”
Oh, Matt Greene. You’re developing quite the reputation as being the jokester, aren’t you? It seems every time we open the paper, you’re flapping your gums in some sort of cute little quote, making fun of your teammates or of some wrinkle in the game the night before.
Well, we have a joke for you too, Matt. Have you ever heard the one about the guy who joins the Oilers and then goes on the Cup Run and takes a million stupid penalties en route? Then he gets signed to a three-year deal and is expected to step up and become a force? You know this joke… It’s the one where the guy breaks his ankle and then comes back to a team that is not exactly charging up the conference ladder and is playing like garbage? Not ringing any bells? The one where, rather than leading a young defensive corps by example, he’s seemingly invisible?
Well, let us tell you the punchline:
GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR, GREENE, AND STOP WASTING PRECIOUS NEWSPRINT AND AIRTIME WITH YOUR BUFOONERY! WE COULD CARE LESS WHO IS GOOD AT GUITAR HERO ON THE OILERS, WHAT YOUR NICKNAME IS FOR ROBERT NILSSON OR ANYTHING ELSE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH! ALL WE WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IS “Big win tonight. I was lucky to score 12 goals during the second period…” OTHER THAN THAT, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT BEFORE WE HIRE BIKERS TO HAVE YOUR OTHER ANKLE BROKEN TO MAKE WAY FOR PLAYERS THAT AREN’T MAKING $1,000,000 PER YEAR TO BE -5 THROUGH 21 FREAKIN’ GAMES
Oh yeah, the Oil play the Wild tonight.