The real victim here is the ice

(click image to enlarge)

Every time we watch a game that’s on the road, we realize what a rip off Oilers hockey is during stoppages in play. Now you may argue, “Who cares about stoppages in play? I care about what happens during the play.” Well you, my friend, are an idiot.

Take a gander at the lovely ladies in the picture above. This is what’s known as an “ice girl” and they exist all around the league. Many teams have them, they even put out calendars sometimes and save children from burning buildings. Unlike your typical NFL cheerleaders who do little but dance and get run over by the occasional player running down a pass, these lovely ladies actually perform a valuable service. They clean the ice. And they’re smoking hot! How good is that?

But no, what do we get here in good old our town? Guys in leather jackets riding mini zambonis.

What a rip off.

We know there are some of you in the Nation who are of the fairer sex saying, “Oh no you didn’t! I don’t want no hussies up in here cleanin’ the ice in front of MY MAN!” But consider player safety ladies-these women are paid professionals.

Ice girls graduate from an intensive 4 year degree at the University of Tijuana which includes courses like:

  • Ice Safety 101: Waiting for the play to stop before going on the ice
  • Ice cleaning 412: Shoveling, stopping, shoveling
  • Economics 112: Getting paid every two weeks for the shoveling

We don’t know about the training given to the guys who currently shovel Rexall Place wearing suit vests, but we bet it doesn’t amount to much more than someone yelling out “Who here can skate and work a shovel?” We all know there are two things male Edmontonians can do at birth: shovel snow and skate. So every two-bit hustler in town qualifies for the job.

Is this what we want for our Oilers? Morons with no qualifications? Do you think that Matt Greene would have broken his ankle in a rut in the ice if the Oilers had ice girls taking care of the scenario? No. Do you think that Ryan Smyth would have been traded if Kevin Lowe could have been cheered up by the ice girls prior to the 2007 trade deadline? No. Think of how the entire OilersNation morale would improve the minute the ice girls would come on the ice. We can see Rod Phillips now: “Oilers are down 3-1, Mathieu Roy has suffered his 1,246th injury of the year and is being attended to by the Oilers medical staff, but HERE COME THE ICE GIRLS!!”

Seriously, why not?

  • 420ilerBuzz

    I believe someone in the Oilers wanted to have some rink girls, but the idea was shot down by Oilers management. They don't want to 'offend' their older base of season ticket holders.

    That's what I've been told.

  • Jason

    OK, then, here's a thought: who cares about the older base of season ticket holders?

    There's a frickin waiting list to buy season tickets! guaranteed the old farts will be cast aside by a new guard of people who are waiting in line to get seats.

    Oilers management is downright baffling.

  • Oilly

    I must be the idiot then because I think that the lack of half naked girls makes the Oilers look classier than the other teams. If you want to objectify women and perpetuate tired, sad, stereotypes, go to the saddest show on earth that we call a strip club.

  • Jason

    Oilly, that's ridiculous. I think a strip club is a BIT different than ice girls. I mean, I get what you're saying, but I don't think the two compare in quite that way.

    And anyway, they can alternate with hot men for the ladies… Give 'em G-strings and let 'em shovel. But get rid of the mouth-breathing, be-acned boy-shovelers that are out there now.

  • Brian Fellow

    'But get rid of the mouth-breathing, be-acned boy-shovelers that are out there now.'

    I dont know what that means Jason, but I don't want any part of it. Bring on the ice girls!

    Pants + Tube top does not equal half naked.