O Gods of Hockey, we salute you.
We thank you for the many gifts you have bestowed upon the OilersNation. We thank you for breaking Chris Pronger’s jaw this season. We thank you for Mike Peca turning to crap once he left the Mighty Oil. We thank you for the tiny but industrious fists of Sam Gagner, and for convincing Ales Hemsky’s home planet to lend him to us for the duration of his career. We thank you for beer, hot wings and for killing the glowing puck idea in the NHL.
We now call on you, Gods of Hockey. We the OilersNation will require your favour throughout the next six games, and it begins tonight. We pray to you to allow the Oilers to beat the Wild tonight, and allow the Flames to beat the Avs.
If you see it in your infinite hockey wisdom please allow Garon to return to the game soon, if you think Roloson can’t handle the stretch. If he can, we thank you for Roloson and his old but sturdy hamstrings.
We have the human sacrifices ready at a moment’s notice upon your direction.