Wanye Gretz Playoff Predictions™ Western Conference Championships


Is that Kurt Russell having lunch with the Stanley Cup? Of course it is! That must mean that it’s time for the Western Final to begin.

For the bookies who now owe Wanye thousands of dollars for his second round prowess let’s recap how we called Round Two in the West:

  • Wings in 6
  • Dallas in 6

Satisfying? Surprisingly, no. Because honestly if the Oil aren’t in it, who really cares right? But we still have to soldier on because traffic at the OilersNation hasn’t really slowed down since the season ended. What do you people expect of us!? We aren’t machines!! We can’t be expected to pay rapt attention to the playoffs though the Oilers are gone and the snow is finally starting to subside can we??


Dallas Stars vs Detroit Red Wings

Boy that’s something. Dallas is enjoying their run, but the Wings are looking too polished, too skilled and have too many players named Franzen to be stopped. It’s frustrating to see the Wings continue to dominate in the post-lockout world, isn’t it lambs?

And for that matter, who the hell are these collection of no-name Euro players? What’s a Hudler? Why does Kronwall have so many points? What is a Valtteri Filppula and why does he continue to get so many points? No one makes big loot on this Red Wings team except the big stars—Zetterberg, Datsyuk et al. This team won’t be broken up any time soon, and the Wings will continue to shop strictly at IKEA for successful years to come.

Three Fearless Predictions

  1. Wings in 6
  2. Franzen scores 10 goals.
  3. Modano will have the whitest teeth since the Industrial Revolution.

Wanye Out.