Stolly does his former team proud

It’s pretty rare that we get star-struck, unless Georges Laraque rolls passed us in a pearl-white Escalade, rolling on dubs, being driven by the Nation’s own Robin Brownlee (we’ve never actually seen this, but we often dream about it). Right now, we can’t help but feel a little excited, a little proud, and maybe even a little aroused at the big news today.

Yes, it’s true. What once belonged to Rod Stewart will soon belong to Jarret Stoll: Rachel Hunter and young Stolly are reportedly tying the knot. From the Mail Online:

They have not named the day but Stoll told the same radio station [in Hunter’s native New Zealand]: ‘The proposal was romantic.’

The couple have been dating for two years and live together in L.A with Hunter’s children by crooner Stewart, Renee, 16, and Liam, 14.

The engagement news comes almost ten years after Hunter split from Stewart – who at 63 is 37 years older than Stoll. Last year, he wed Penny Lancaster, 37, also a model, in Italy.

Now, we’d be a hell of a lot more excited about this if Stoll were still rocking the copper and blue. But there’s the whole “he dated her when he was still in Edmonton” claim to fame that we like to toss in the faces of our out-of-town pals when we get together to drown our sorrows in moonshine and stolen chocolate bars behind the Mac’s on Jasper and 112 Street.

According to our sources, Stolly stands to gain:

  • Two children belonging to Rod Stewart
  • A smokin’ hot beauty wife
  • Admiration from citizens of the Nation

Ah, the trickle down effect of a former Oiler shacking up with a leggy beauty. It brings a tear to our remaining good eye, lambs.

(Tip ‘o the hat to David S for bringing this to our attention.)

  • I'm a Scientist!

    As I posted in the article this story originally broke in:

    "“As Hunter visited Hautapu Primary School near Cambridge yesterday with her Canadian ice hockey star boyfriend Jarret Stoll to help launch a reading initiative for children, all eyes turned to the glittering rock on her finger.”

    (To the popular sesame street song) One of these words is not like the other…"

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Is it the STAR in "Hockey Star" that doesn't belong? Cause if he were a star I am sure he would be able to score at even strength….Come to think of it how does he score with a hottie like Hunter? Well at least she won't have to worry about getting pregnant, Stoli can't hit the net and then he tries to hard and breaks his stick in the middle of the shaft….Maybe he just grinds her in the corner?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Gentlemen I stand corrected for that earlier sass about the tank having been sucked dry.

    Now this is a hockey story we can sink our teeth into. Which is more than Rachel Hunter can say. Why she's old enough to have wooden chompers and charcoal eyeliner.

    Jonathan – Here's an opportunity to dive into a statistical analysis that would tie an actuary's jock in knots.

    At what point will Ms Hunter qualify for US social security and will it coincide with Stoll's retirement and elegibility for his NHLPA pension. Posit: could this be a ploy to qualify herself and her rockin' progeny for those Saskatchewan Health Care Benefits?

    There may be a plot here. Now we're talkin' hockey. Go Oilers.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I was originally going to post an article about this, but I lack the strength to smash my fingers into the keys about this sad turn of events.

    Stoll – you don't marry Rachel Hunter unless the year is 1986 you are Rod Stewart. She has seen more weiner than Oscar Meyer, and you are better than this.

    Spyn Cycle – you are completely out to lunch. This isn't cool at all, nor should Stoll be commended. If he signs a long term deal in LA, I will bet $100 that the marriage is shorter than the contract.

    After witnessing her performance in Celebrity Circus, we can all look forward to her next project – starring in Cocoon 5, and that is just gross.

    Yuck

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Maybe I AM completely out to lunch. But Wanye, my genitals are so shriveled from sitting in from of this infernal machine posting your semi-coherent ramblings that I'll take what I can get: and what I can get is news about a young hockey player marrying the cougar of all cougars.

    In conclusion, suck it. Go Stoll!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye: "Stoll – you don’t marry Rachel Hunter unless the year is 1986 you are Rod Stewart. She has seen more weiner than Oscar Meyer, and you are better than this."

    That's just wrong, man. Come on Wanye, you're better than this! Well, then again, you do live in a van down by the river.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Robin –

    Friends don't let friends marry Rachel Hunter. Remember when you and her were serious in the late 90s? I stepped in then too as I recall.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    sorry to say but…rachel hunter is by no means beautiful anymore. she's way passed her prime. back in the day she was hot. i feel bad for stolly though getting Rod's leftovers. eeewww!!!