Katz quitting Rexall, focusing on career as Rob Schneider’s stunt double

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OilersNation, Alberta—In a stunning turn of events, Edmonton billionaire Daryl Katz has decided to abandon his career of being really, really rich to play the stunt double of veteran comedic actor Rob Schneider in the upcoming movie Deuce Bigalow 3: Another Waste of Time.When asked for comment, Katz lamented, “Having been cruelly rebuffed time and again by the EIG, I have decided to change gears completely and head to Hollywood. I didn’t realize how much I looked like Rob Schneider, but now I see I have many avenues open to me other than owning the Oilers.”

There was no word from the EIG as of press time today, but it is assumed they are quarreling behind closed doors somewhere, unable to decide on anything.