A Leaf cast off the Oil should pick up if he is still around. Two words. Mark Bell.
If he stays off the sauce he is a serviceable player. When he played for Chicago he was awesome. Two years ago he had 25 goals for heaven’s sakes.
How’s this? Katz gives him a life correcting speech about effort, determination and everyone deserving a second chance. He then inserts a clause into his contract that allows him to put a chip in Bell’s head like in Total Recall. If Bell goes into a bar then the chip activates and explodes inside his head. If his head explodes his contract is – of course – voided.
Total Recall contracts are totally legal. We even asked the OilersNation Legal Department:
Wanye: “We have a question about the CBA”
OilersNation Legal Department: “Uh, OK….”
Wanye: “What are the legalities surrounding exploding skull implants for players signed off the waiver wire?”
OilersNation Legal Department: ” Listen, we got you off a public nudity charge in 2004. We aren’t the lawyer for your stupid website. What have we told you about calling the office with this sort of garbage?”
Yeah. Mark Bell. The Oil should totally pick him up.
– Wanye loves email like fat kids love smarties. firstname.lastname@example.org