GDB6: Put it behind you

Sometimes things just don’t go right. Sometimes it just isn’t your day. Sometimes even though you have well trained troops, an excellent strategy and remorseless intelligence gatherers who are incapable of showing compassion you just can’t determine the exact location of the guerilla hideout.


It’s kind of like the time Britney Spears showed up at the VMAs out of shape, out of practice, irrationally confident and totally blew it (pun intended.) It’s kind of like the Oilers showing up in Chicago last night with their little heads full of “best start since 1986” dreams dancing in their heads. They showed up looking gross too and were completely out of it – and mailed in one of the worst Oilers games we have seen in awhile.

So what do you do?

Put it behind you.

Take a page out of Britney’s book. Dump your crazy Lebanese manager and fly in your Dad who is immediately court ordered to take away all your PCP and forces you at gunpoint into the gym, the recording studio, the gym, the recording studio and finally the gym with little concern for your sanity or long term health.

The bottom line here is immediate success Nation.

And frankly that’s what we need to see tonight. A quick comeback engineered with little regard for long term stability.

Is Souray hurt?
Don’t care – throw him over the boards.

Oh you’re concerned about the goaltending situation and want to give everyone a shot?
Nope. Garon in – everyone else out.

But what about the children?
Hang the children. It’s time for a bounce back win.

Keys to success

Score more than 0 goals. This may seem counter intuitive to some. “But Wanye, what if the game plan is to force a scoreless tie and win in a shoot out?” Let’s try abandoning that game plan for an instant and just say start with potting a goal.

Play some defense. This may also fly in the face of anyone who shelled out $14 to watch the crap-a-thon last night but believe us when we say “defense wins games.” Maybe all those people who sit in front of Charlie Huddy on the Oilers bench can assist with this. After all, they have gone to all the trouble of putting on skates and elbow pads – why not play a little defense while you are waiting for your turn to spit on the bench floor?

Throw a career sidelining body check. We aren’t saying that it should be an Oiler that gets hurt. That’s cruel. Now an Avalanche on the other hand … they could sustain an MCL tear and we would sleep soundly tonight.

They are all insured, it will be fine.


  • Doogie I am gentle as the summer breeze, but if a guy serves it up he better be able to take it. Staios is gross, we all know this, I just let my mind child out there through the beauty of similes. Ya dig?

  • Doesn't matter who goes on that first line with Hemsky. Until he gets his shit together, there will be no chemistry luv on the first line. Frankly, I think he's hurt and trying to work through it.

    Also, don't knock Gagner quite yet. He's been playing his ass off and its just a case where nothing has gone in yet. I suspect he's dealing with a ton of pressure to be the second coming of 99. Once he scores a few and settles down, watch out!

  • Dear Ender,

    I would gladly lose the blocked shots that Staios provides and gain less giveaways without him in the lineup. Riming the puck around the boards and trying to the one in a million clearing through center is what I called Stellar D.

    Unless you have dislexia, then I apologize, but I did not mention Cole at all in my post. They don't have chemistry as a line. If you do have dislexia then Pagner is a gasser lust hike Jemsky. The obvious choice would be try to rekindle the the chemistry from last season and move Penner up to the first line.

    Don't come at me with your wikianswers analysis and pretend to pass off someones opinion as your own.

  • Nice trolling baggedmilk.

    If we were only looking at points (which you apparently are) that would be one thing. But if you actually watch the game, Cole is not the problem on that line. Cole is the only one on that line who has been playing well.

    Likewise, Staios might be a pylon, but he's a pylon who blocks a whole lot of shots in a game. No Staios means less blocked shots, which means more deflections/rebounds, which means more goals (in the long run). Name one other defensive defenceman on the team – just one – whose name isn't Smid.

    They'll have a hard time on the PK without him, and will also have a hard time against tough opp without him *unless* the O plays decent defense, which Horc and Hemsky haven't been.

    Just because Gagner isn't on the scoresheet doesn't mean he hasn't done as much for the team as Horc and Hemsky have over the first 5 games. Either way, if Hemsky wants to play with Horcoff so damned badly, and the first line is doing nothing, who else are you going to put there? Are you suggesting Nilsson – Cogliano – Cole? That would be a disaster.

  • Predictions for tonight

    Souray and Moreau pound everything they can reach

    Gagner breaks Goose Egg

    Garon Plays exceptionally well in spite of a few defensive lapses

    MacTavish blends the lines

    the Towel Boy creates a picture of a Pylon in Staios' hockey gear

  • Ender, are you are you actually suggesting the human pylon is our best defenseman? Have you watched an Oilers game before. On many nights Steve Staios is the retarded cousin that you have to acknowledge and be nice to but no one really likes.

    As far as I know Hemsky and Horcoff still have more points than the zero that Gagner is rocking. So your put up or be demoted theory makes no sense. Give your head a shake.

  • The team will be hurtin' with Staois out of the lineup. He's really the only reliable defensive defenceman we have. Souray should get rest if he needs it. There's no point to him hurting himself worse.

    At the end of the day, Horc and Hemsky need to show up or be demoted. I personally would like to see what a Gagner-Horcoff-Cole line would do. Everyone bitching about Nilsson needing to play with Hemsky needs to remember what they forgot about Cole. They play the same damned wing. Give it up already.

    4-2 win. Gagner with 3 pts. Cole with 2 goals.