Wanye sees yacht, loses mind

Now our biggest concern in hanging down here is that we would listen to hoity toity types who would tell us how difficult their lives are and we would snap.

See, we’re from Edmonton and we don’t play that shit. A tough day at home is when your truck freezes solid in your driveway and it takes you an hour to dig it out of the snowbank. Or perhaps that you go to an actual “job” that has legitimate “stress” and it “sucks.”

But we really have no interest in listening to someone tell us that their diamond shoes are too tight or that they can’t fit all their million dollar bills into their new wallet.

And luckily that hadn’t happened.

Until today.

The OilersNation Dance Posse™ had rented segways and were motoring around solving mysteries with our super cool Segway guide Scott. He drove us past some gigantic mansions and explained how rich everyone down here is. That’s fine, you can’t hold “balling out of control” against someone.

Then he took us to the yacht parking lot or whatever it’s called and pointed us at the yacht pictured above called The Vango. Some real estate dude had parked it at the dry docks yacht fixing place and Scott reported he was super choked at how long the work was taking. Apparently it was generally well known around town about the wrath these poor boat builders were suffering from this super rich dude.

What work was this he was having done? Take a gander at the pic below.

This dude had booked his yacht in because he needed the upper deck expanded so he can land his new, larger helicopter on it. Yeah, it seems the old deck of his $60 million yacht didn’t have the capacity for his new six man helicopter to land. And apparently it was taking too long to be completed for his Royal Majesty.

What in the sweet name of Suri Cruise is wrong with this world? If that’s the worst thing going on in your life at any given moment you can pound sand.

“How’s your November going old bean?” “Oh just terrible Reginald. My yacht has been in the shop all month. I positively can’t go on with my old helipad and its taking weeks to get fixed.” Suicide pills, please.

Luckily this was balanced out about an hour later when we met a guy in the local bar who told us his life story. Despite having one leg and no teeth, he lived on his own boat, had met Snoop Dogg recently and had the pictures to prove it. Thank you “Peg Leg” as you called yourself. You evened out our day.

Oh and you know how much 30 Bud Light costs here in Fancypantsland™? 17 bucks. We get it. The United States loves to get Crunk. This could be the Happiest Place on Earth.

Yeah, this isn’t about hockey. But you gotta write about something. Big game tomorrow, Oil. We will force someone at gun point to put on a TV somewhere.

  • I Am The Law

    I just wanna say I love the new layout. Very professional. Almost legit.

    And having been in the US for the past while (stupid school), I can attest to cheap beer. Hell, the school I go to gives out free booze on Thursday nights. Like, totally-open bar free booze. Yeah, good times are had…

  • NoPantsTuesday

    Well at least I see the slumping economy isn't hurting everyone.

    And Kudos for the upgraded site. I love the Nation for its content, but now its just so damn pretty. Take that Pens blog!

  • David S

    Then I highly advise you not visit Victoria in the summer. Saw Steve Jobs' boat there last year. I think he had 2 heli-pads and a backup boat mounted on deck that was about the size of the boat in your pic. His boat was bigger than the biggest mooring in the harbour. Pretty sure you'd have been a retard after seeing that one.

  • shakey

    I don't want to add to your rage but I just had an extra cup holder installed in my truck. Now I have 3…who really needs 3 cup holders? I'm sure I don't but if you got it flaunt it baby!