The Shitathalon at Rexall Place

My oh my, what a game THAT was last night wasn’t it? We don’t know what y’all think right now, but we are sensing that the Oil aren’t exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. Call us crazy, but when MacT was yammering on about ‘quelling optimism’ prior to the season starting this isn’t what we had in mind come November 27th.

Look how upset they’ve made David Staples! We can positively feel the rage coming through the screen over at Cult of Hockey:

“Tonight I post more in sadness than in anger. Something is wrong with the Edmonton Oilers and it’s painful to behold.

What is up? I give up.

This team is FUBAR. OK, maybe I am a bit ticked off, too.”

Well congratulations, Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club. You have made David Staples not only give up, but use an acronym that contains a swear word. Never did we think we would see the day. You know how he gets when he’s ticked off! What’s wrong with you? Random passersby at the Journal are hit with whisky bottles. Ammunition sales go through the roof. Diamonds Gentleman’s Club reports “a really nice guy sitting in the back corner, nursing a Bud Light for most of the afternoon and mumbling something about ‘error stats.’”

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For shame.

For those of you not paying attention the Oil currently have a defenceman that hasn’t scored in 75 games playing the wing, the starting goalie inexplicably rides the pine and the team dentist is currently acting in a capacity as the team orthodontist. What’s next? A squirrel acting as the announcer?

Pop Quiz

Kings come in for back to back games in Alberta. They appropriately lose to the Flames, and fly into Edmonton the following night to face a team that has had five days off. Who do you think would win? The Oilers or the Kings? Did we mention that the opposing team is the Kings? Note: Kings = basically a fifth seeded AHL team that missed a connecting flight at LAX and stayed the winter.

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Did you guess the Oil? Wrong!

(Gunshot goes off, body drops to floor)

I would rather go over to the Oilers website and read Tom Gilbert talking about taking Steve Staios’ kids for sushi then witness another game of this shitastical quality. Hey Tom — we have something you could write about. For a moment, stop enflaming the loins of your 15-year-old female readers by disclosing your ambitions to see High School Musical 3. Instead maybe you could appease the zillions of voting-age fans in the OilersNation and throw us out a win or two. How does that sound “Gilbs?” After all, you have all gone to the trouble of coming up here for the winter, we have bought all these tickets and stuff. Maybe you and your co-workers could stop the suck for a month or two and put yourself in a playoff position?

Make David Staples say FUBAR… For shame!