The Shitathalon at Rexall Place

My oh my, what a game THAT was last night wasn’t it? We don’t know what y’all think right now, but we are sensing that the Oil aren’t exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. Call us crazy, but when MacT was yammering on about ‘quelling optimism’ prior to the season starting this isn’t what we had in mind come November 27th.

Look how upset they’ve made David Staples! We can positively feel the rage coming through the screen over at Cult of Hockey:

“Tonight I post more in sadness than in anger. Something is wrong with the Edmonton Oilers and it’s painful to behold.

What is up? I give up.

This team is FUBAR. OK, maybe I am a bit ticked off, too.”

Well congratulations, Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club. You have made David Staples not only give up, but use an acronym that contains a swear word. Never did we think we would see the day. You know how he gets when he’s ticked off! What’s wrong with you? Random passersby at the Journal are hit with whisky bottles. Ammunition sales go through the roof. Diamonds Gentleman’s Club reports “a really nice guy sitting in the back corner, nursing a Bud Light for most of the afternoon and mumbling something about ‘error stats.’”

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For shame.

For those of you not paying attention the Oil currently have a defenceman that hasn’t scored in 75 games playing the wing, the starting goalie inexplicably rides the pine and the team dentist is currently acting in a capacity as the team orthodontist. What’s next? A squirrel acting as the announcer?

Pop Quiz

Kings come in for back to back games in Alberta. They appropriately lose to the Flames, and fly into Edmonton the following night to face a team that has had five days off. Who do you think would win? The Oilers or the Kings? Did we mention that the opposing team is the Kings? Note: Kings = basically a fifth seeded AHL team that missed a connecting flight at LAX and stayed the winter.

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Did you guess the Oil? Wrong!

(Gunshot goes off, body drops to floor)

I would rather go over to the Oilers website and read Tom Gilbert talking about taking Steve Staios’ kids for sushi then witness another game of this shitastical quality. Hey Tom — we have something you could write about. For a moment, stop enflaming the loins of your 15-year-old female readers by disclosing your ambitions to see High School Musical 3. Instead maybe you could appease the zillions of voting-age fans in the OilersNation and throw us out a win or two. How does that sound “Gilbs?” After all, you have all gone to the trouble of coming up here for the winter, we have bought all these tickets and stuff. Maybe you and your co-workers could stop the suck for a month or two and put yourself in a playoff position?

Make David Staples say FUBAR… For shame!


  • That game was indeed Shitrocious ™.

    Not how I had drawn it up in my mind, that's for sure! Of course in my mind the Oilers had shotguns and chainsaws and the LA kings were remeniscent of a zombie hord. But I digress.

  • Unleaded

    I have been doing my best not to say this. I was so happy over the summer – the team was looking like it would dominate the NW. 4 months ago I never even would have considered saying this. But after watching that game, that team, that… "potential" dissapear, I can't help it. It has to be said.

    I want Jarret Stoll back.

  • JB

    Ugh. That game was horrible. THe team looks listless and lethargic. That's okay though; a hat trick of consecutive playoff misses should result in a coaching change you'd think. Always look on the bright side folks! Perhaps we can draft another small, skilled forward in the first round. Can never have enough of those.

  • milli

    haha, thats funny. I think what this team really needs is a long road trip so that they can bond as a team….ya, that'll solve all our problems, and hey, it's way better to get BOOOOOOOD on the road…..I wonder if that guy who used to be GM is still real excited about this group? I wonder if the 3 goalie circus is mearly being used as a distraction so we all don't realize that you actually need to score goals (as in more than one) to generally win a hockey game? But I guess if Roli had of played better, and maybe scored a goal, we could have eecked that one out 2-1!!! That would have been sweet, then CracT would be looking like a genius!!! I for one am really enjoying this new era of the dominant oilers!!!!

  • Moony

    I have not been overly critical of Mac-T so far this year but I have finally had enough of this gong show. In my opinion here are a few of the more retarded things he has done:

    1. The way he handles the goaltending.
    2. The way he handled Penner.
    3. Pisani at center for way to long.
    4. Smid at forward.
    5. Cole either playing on the wrong wing on the first line or the right wing on the 3rd line. How about if Hemsky is your first line right-winger maybe try Cole on the second line with some skill guys you retard.
    6. The other day a Gregor asked Macintyre if Mac-T had anything special to say to him when they sat down to talk. Mcintyre said that Mac-T has not sat down to talk to him yet. I know Macintyre should not be Mac-T’s top priority but how does an NHL coach go 20 games into the season without having at least one sit down talk with every guy on his roster. That seems retarded to me to. Maybe Gregor or Robin can tell me if I am way off base with this comment as I have never been as close to an NHL team as they are.

  • Braden

    This organization has no clue. Did they expect Dustin Penner to peak last year? Wasn't the idea that Dustin Penner might not be worth the money in the first couple years but it should pay off in the final 2 or 3 years?

    Dustin Penner led Edmonton in goals last year and he was one of the top goal scorers in the entire league. So what does Edmonton do? They abandon there plans and and play Ethan Moreau, Erik Cole and Ronert Nilsson in his place. Is this organization seriously that short-sighted?

    MacTavish takes him out of the top 6 and plays him with 2 pluggers and Penner has to watch guys like Sam Gagner make horrible play after horrible play, two of them having a direct result in a losing outcome. Sam Gagner plays like crap so what does MacTavsih do? He promotes him to the first line with Hemsky.

    Why in the world would Penner look "motivated" when the coach bailed on him? Clearly with guys like Sam Gagner and Horcoff getting heavy minutes it's not about how you're performing but who you are.

    Same thing with Kyle Brodziak. Last year he scored 14 goals and was "making plays that grinders don't make", and was looking like maybe a poor mans Shawn Horcoff. So what does MacTavish do? He certainly didn't give Kyle the 3rd line center opportunity that he probably warranted from his play last year. He certainly didn't play him where Kevin Lowe thought he would after he traded Stoll and let go of Reasoner. MacTavish, in a contract year, glued Kyle to Steve Smack, Zach Stortini and Marc Pouliot. Who is seriously going to be motivated to play with Smack in a contract year? I'm sure watching Pisani play center for the first time in a decade is real motivating for Kyle.

  • FS

    Too many things wrong with this team. No effort!!! when you call up two guys and pair them up with a defenceman for a energy forth line "you got problems".
    How does a team that has just played the night before, beat you to pucks. And you've five days off. WTF!!!
    0-5 on the powerplay. If you don't shoot you can't score. Out shot again 29-23. I think we had one shot in the first 10min of the second. Mac-t needs to call a time out earlier, although I don't think anyone is listening.

  • Chaz

    Horcoff and Penner? Are you sure? I'm fairly certain that's Sloth and Chunk at the Goonies 20th anniversary DVD release party.
    Maybe K-Lowe should think about throwing Time-Warner an offer sheet…

    On a serious note, what else is left to be said or done with this group? All I know for sure is if 90% of a team is vastly under-achieving on a nightly basis, as the Oil are, you can only blame the coach. Do you like apples Mac T?

  • David Staples

    Yes, it's me. All of us.

    Anyway, just drop me an email, if you're ever wondering if it's really me.

    For the record, the first post was me, the other two posts come from my greatest admirers.

    Anyway, your post and this thread has me laughing out loud.

  • shakey

    Tambo; you left Vancouver because they left you on the sidelines and promoted people around you and from outside of the organization and you finally got tired of it. You took a job in a city where the fans care and they don't like a team that doesn't put in the effort required to be successful. You now have the power you worked so hard to get. Now please do something with this power and show us that Jesse Boulderice was a brain fart…not a vision of things to come…or not come.

  • JB

    I still think Tambo is an animatronic robot being fed dialogue by Kevin Lowe. For their next trick, Oilers management will blast Ales Hemsky in the newspaper, play him 8 minutes a game with Reddox and that other plumber they just recalled, move Laddy Smid to goal, and then reward Ethan Moreau with a $6 million a year extension for being a good solider. It is another awesome year to be an Edmonton sports fan!

  • Al Hamilton

    Go Oilers!
    Good news from last night…..Bobby Clark finally gave good ol' Al Hamilton the shout out he deserves after the bobby orr junior jersey retirement intermission filler. Yea, he was western Canada's bobby orr. Go get em Clark.

    Lets hire Clark (GM), Tortarella (Coach), Pang (Goalie Coach/Cheerleader), Macguire (Monster Creator) and Mackenzie (Rumour Specialist/Scout). Then bring back Ray Ferraro and Dutch while we are stealing all of TSN's crew. These guys know hockey. It makes as much sense as hiring all former oilers right?

    GO OILERS GO!!

  • Edmonton is the polar opposite of those teams (Tampa) that hire/fire their coaches within a short timeframe. No, we haaaaaang onto our coaches, and no matter how craptastic they fail, team management is "firmly in their corner". Macocia and MacT. All I want for Christmas is both to get pink slips. There is no hope on the former, and little on the latter.

  • swany

    After that game I thought we would hear something from Klowe or Tambi, thery were booed off the ice for god sakes. The Oilers are a team that sits on the fence, if this was any other team with the these expectations a coaching change or a trade would have happened by now, come on boys do something the last time I checked it wasn't friggen free to watch this crap.