The Shitathalon at Rexall Place

My oh my, what a game THAT was last night wasn’t it? We don’t know what y’all think right now, but we are sensing that the Oil aren’t exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. Call us crazy, but when MacT was yammering on about ‘quelling optimism’ prior to the season starting this isn’t what we had in mind come November 27th.

Look how upset they’ve made David Staples! We can positively feel the rage coming through the screen over at Cult of Hockey:

“Tonight I post more in sadness than in anger. Something is wrong with the Edmonton Oilers and it’s painful to behold.

What is up? I give up.

This team is FUBAR. OK, maybe I am a bit ticked off, too.”

Well congratulations, Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club. You have made David Staples not only give up, but use an acronym that contains a swear word. Never did we think we would see the day. You know how he gets when he’s ticked off! What’s wrong with you? Random passersby at the Journal are hit with whisky bottles. Ammunition sales go through the roof. Diamonds Gentleman’s Club reports “a really nice guy sitting in the back corner, nursing a Bud Light for most of the afternoon and mumbling something about ‘error stats.’”

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

For shame.

For those of you not paying attention the Oil currently have a defenceman that hasn’t scored in 75 games playing the wing, the starting goalie inexplicably rides the pine and the team dentist is currently acting in a capacity as the team orthodontist. What’s next? A squirrel acting as the announcer?

Pop Quiz

Kings come in for back to back games in Alberta. They appropriately lose to the Flames, and fly into Edmonton the following night to face a team that has had five days off. Who do you think would win? The Oilers or the Kings? Did we mention that the opposing team is the Kings? Note: Kings = basically a fifth seeded AHL team that missed a connecting flight at LAX and stayed the winter.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Did you guess the Oil? Wrong!

(Gunshot goes off, body drops to floor)

I would rather go over to the Oilers website and read Tom Gilbert talking about taking Steve Staios’ kids for sushi then witness another game of this shitastical quality. Hey Tom — we have something you could write about. For a moment, stop enflaming the loins of your 15-year-old female readers by disclosing your ambitions to see High School Musical 3. Instead maybe you could appease the zillions of voting-age fans in the OilersNation and throw us out a win or two. How does that sound “Gilbs?” After all, you have all gone to the trouble of coming up here for the winter, we have bought all these tickets and stuff. Maybe you and your co-workers could stop the suck for a month or two and put yourself in a playoff position?

Make David Staples say FUBAR… For shame!


  • shakey

    pdan; The Esk's are having a press conference this afternoon and the rumor is that Maccocia is stepping down as coach. Now only if the Oilers could call a press conference….

  • MJ

    Yup Maccocia "stepping down" but sadly he'll be in management.

    Personally I wanted to see more changes to the Esks than promoting the guy, but we will see if this changes the on-field product.

  • MJ

    With his proven talent of player assessment, look at the messes he's had just at kicker and RB. Now he gets to make personnel decisions from a pure management standpoint. I don't see how this will help matters as to me, he's not exactly a talent-assessing genius.

  • Chris

    For years I have been praying that the Mighty Oil could put together a team that could beat Dallas. Ha Ha Dallas! Look whose ahead of who in the standings now! Suck on that!

  • Socrates

    hey fellas, lighten up a little. you are all arguing around in circles. the last couple years MacT was an idiot for not giving young guys a chance. This year he's a nut bar for giving Gagner too much of a chance. Penner should be called out by a good coach if he is being paid 4.25M and is over-weight and looks like he has cement skates. MacT is not as bad as you all are painting him. The last 2 years we set a club record for injuries, and most of the games lost were to our top players. The year before, our best line-up since 1990, we got to the Final. Before that we were fitting a non-cap league with no money. What really needs to happen is we need to deal with some of the excess weight hanging around and being paid too much. a nice 2-1 trade or 3-2 trade would solve a lot of our issues. But you can't rush a trade, so be patient and take a valium. We've seen worse, much worse. We are on the right track. Firing a coach doesn't inspire multi-millionaires to perform.

  • Chris

    I agree with Socrates. We should not only give MacT another twenty games…how about another twenty years? Continuity is improtant.
    P.S. Do you think Garon could fill in for Smid on defence?

    Sincerely Kelly Buchberger

  • David S

    I give alot of credit to what Soctrates is saying. And after 5 days off, it would have been alot to ask that guys be in top form (they played better in their B2B games for the most part). Still, it seems to me that a shitnami of a trade has to be in the works. We're a goalie to heavy and desperately needing a game-breaker and/or a true Glen-X replacement.

    At the end of the day though, we have a bunch of guys who should be putting the puck in the net that are massively underperforming. Is that MacT's fault? Can't say 100% of it anyways. These guys are supposed to be professionals aren't they?

  • shakey

    Socrates, we've heard all this before, Mac T got us to the finals…look at the injuries…blah blah blah. We do need to move some excess weight hanging around and the diet starts behind the bench. He's had 8 years to show us how good of a coach he is and if we haven't missed the playoffs, we've finished 8th…every year he's been coaching. Are you telling me that Gagne deserves the ice time he's getting, especially on the penalty kill? I went to Rexall drugs looking for this valium you speak of and they said they had a rush order go out to the Oilers dressing room before the Kings game, enough for about 15 to 16 people and then they sold right out after the Kings game…roughly 17000 were served.

  • Chris

    I don't see the problem. I've seen drastic improvemnet over the 07/08 Oilers. First of all we are ahead of Dallas in the standings. Dallas! Also, last year we only had eight wins through the first 21 games. Smashed that! Oh Yeah!!!!

  • JB

    I'd say that given the roster changes the last few years, the "You can't fire the players" addage has been challenged; when does the coach become accountable for the lack of success? When does the franchise move beyond the "scramble to secure the 8th spot" stage? Perhaps that was okay when the club was struggling to survive, but in the current system, I would argue it is unacceptable.

  • Chris

    We still have five or six guys from the cup run…Let's change them out too! Just because Lupil, Cole, Penner, Pitkanen, Garon, etc haven't worked out doesn't mean it's time for a coaching change…Let's package up Hemsky, Horcoff, and Roli for some grinders…real MacT type players. It's time we gave MacT an oppertunity to succeed!

  • MJ

    To expand on Chris' thought, I figured I'd take a closer look at 07-08 versus 08-09 in terms of some basic numbers.

    2007-08 Oilers after 21 games: 8-12-1 for 17 points
    GP at home: 10 GP on road: 11
    GF: 49 GA: 68

    2008-09 Oilers after 21 games: 9-10-2 for 20 points
    GP at home: 7 GP on road: 14
    GF: 54 GA: 64

    See people, we're an improved hockey club! We've scored 5 more goals and let 4 fewer in and we have 3 more points while having an arguably tougher schedule with more road games.

    See? There's nothing wrong with the team. Honest. *clug clug* Love that Kool-aid. Laforge came and delivered me a fresh case this morning.

  • Chris

    MJ. Seriously Dude. Check the confernce standings. We are ahead of Dallas. Dallas! It doesn't get any better than that! Lowe, Tambo, MacT… You guys are geniuses!

  • Chris

    If we had played 10 games at home this year and 11 on the road we would only have 16 points right now based on home and away records. So I guess maybe this team isn't as improved as I thought. Thanks a lot MJ! And to think for just a minute there I really belived this team was vastly imroved with 9 wins through 21 as opposed to just 8. Staples is right…FUBAR!

  • milli

    Socrates, is that really MacT???? Come on, injuries??? Right where we should be??? MacT, get back to work and quit trolling the board secretly defending yourself.

  • Jason Gregor

    Moony,

    I have spoken with many players from different teams, and some head coaches will have meeting while others don't feel it is that necessary. I would like one if I was a players, especially a new player coming in. Some head coaches leave those discussions to the assistants. Why? I have no idea, but there aren't a lot of one-on-one head coach/player meetings in Edmonton. Maybe there should be more. Right now anything different can't hurt.

  • Sing A Song For SingSing

    Ahaha, Mr Lahey.

    The shit-rope indeed rings true for MacT at this point.

    Everything about it defines his daily troubles as a head coach to a TEE.