This just in…

Rob Schremp does not suck. He doesn’t have horns, he is seemingly able to back check at will and not once did he refer to anyone’s anything as sloppy seconds. According to our calculations he is not the worst player in the NHL — as some curly haired coaches have led us to believe. Hell, Pouliot even scored playing on his line. Perhaps he can make miracles happen.

For the record we are surprised how loud the cries were getting from everyone to bring up Schremp. Generally maladjusted propsects with crappy attitudes get no love from the OilersNation. We think its a testament to the Shitanusly® bad play of the Oilers this year that he is coming in to such fanfare. If it means a win, you get the feeling we’d demand Craig Muni come out of retirement if he could be of any help. Of course he is busy in retirement running a watch cleaning business in Guelph called “Sloppy Seconds” and can’t be pulled away. It’s too bad.

There we were

As much as it killed us to leave our beloved JL meeting for an evening, we had to spin down to RX1 to run a few hockey beers through us. Our game attendance record has been spotty at best this year and we had to make up for lost time with our favourite beer vendor: All Of Them.

Don’t tell me there’s a better city to watch a game in. There were louder cheers during the Tom Thumb game at intermission than those reserved for goals in Anaheim. And Anaheim is an awesome zone to watch a game in, believe it or not. We would hate to witness a 1-0 pre-season game in Florida. Even our interest in the game would be tested — and we still occasionally play NHL95 on our Sega Genesis when the mood hits us.

Avery

Great Googly Moogly. What do you animals want from him? He’s sorry! He sent his publicist into the dressing room to make an apology on his behalf! His publicist! That’s what they are there for people. Publicistizing things that you think so that you don’t have to talk to anyone. What more can he do? Send a fax to a media outlet? Pen a kindly worded telegraph? Surely you don’t expect him to apologize in person. A Vogue man doesn’t stoop to such levels. How gauche.

“I don’t know if we can make the best possible team with Avery on the team.” — Coach Tippett

Oh please — if the Stars were a band they’d be Shitallica. Interestingly, because the Stars have no AHL team they can assign him anywhere they like — or so some talking head from TSN explained to us this morning.

Why don’t they send him wherever the hell Emery now calls home? They can sit at that Siberian Railtown collecting cheques from Russian mobsters, driving bullet proof Ladas and acting as badly as they please. Then one night, as they are celebrating a win in front of 1,300 fans they can look each other in the eye and know in their heart of hearts:

Douchebags eventually get what’s coming to them.

Schremp watch: 1 G, 0 G, 1 A, 1 PT.

  • I think Sean Avery and Brad Richards should be traded to the Islanders for Rick DiPtero and Alexi Yashin's salary cap hit. That would see the exchange of 4 of the worst contracts in league history. If only Jeff Finger, Dustin Penner, Eric Staal and Martin Lapointe could be included as well.

  • Malc

    Schremp was solid last night. And hey, he got Pouliot to produce… nuff said. He definitely needs some more games though to see if the consistency is there. Hopefully the confidence he shows in his interviews is the real deal and not just practiced composure so as not to blow the big chance.

    On Avery, that was hilarious – but stupid. The real joke is Hull signing this guy for something like 15 mil when they already have one of the best agitators in Ott. What was that about?

  • socaldave

    Watch that line change and you'll see the too many men call was bogus. Schremp's change was already on the bench, and it was the last two players changing that made it six. Neither of them became involved in the play, hence soooooper bogus call.

  • Clarkenstein

    The Shrempster proved last night he has been given the greasy shaft by MacTabulous. He is here to stay sportsfans!! But tell me something please… what the hell is Sam Gagner doing out there?? I focused on him entirely for about 3 or 4 shifts… he is absolutely a non factor out there. He looks like a bantam hockey player out there. Really taken a step back this year.

  • Clayton

    Rob Schremp was working hard to impress last night. If he keeps it up keep him on the ice.

    As for Avery I am sick of hearing about him! He's done, I hope the the door hits him on the way out!

  • Matt N

    I don't wish to extinguish the growing man crush you have on the hockey jesus, but he did have 4 min in penalties. 2 for phantom hooking and 2 for hitting the ice when his change was still involved in the play. But, other than that…….

  • Gord

    Yup, Schremp is a fan favourite mostly because we all think he has gotten the shaft when it comes to getting a fair shot to make the team. If the crowds' reaction last night wasn't enough for the Oilers brain trust to realize this kid is what the fans wnat to see, I'm not sure what else we can do as fans. I guess we could stand up and cheer from the moment he hits the ice until he finishes his shift and chant his name for the first have of the PP until his line gets sent out, but let's hope that won't be necessary. Go Rob!!!!

  • It's ok Wanye…the JL had a solid outing in your absense.

    Schremp did look pretty good. I heard he even tossed a puck or two to the fans after warmup. They seemed to really rally behind him. He pretty much got a standing O when they announced his 1st point.

  • Steele

    Dissing Craig Muni? Must be the beer.

    Sarcasm about the Oil? You must be from Red Deer.

    Avery? Good thing he has been working on a new career. When his hockey career is over – soon – Vogue will be only too happy to give him a fancy job as skid-licker during male model shoots, becuase if he isn't a hockey celebrity, what is he to Vogue? A nobody.

  • Chris

    Good for you Robbie! It was obvious that Stortini had a way higher level game, as did Reddox… But you kept your head down, worked hard, and who knows…If you stay at a point a game maybe MacT will keep you here till Nilsson gets better. Instead of working on your foot speed, may I suggest working on becoming a coaches pet like Pouliot; that is the true key to sticking with the big club.