GDB 51: Has the world gone crazy?

klingon

Well, loyal Nation readers, things don’t feel so hot here in Oil City, or really anywhere on this spinning ball of rock. Our boys in copper and blue play St Louis tonight. But they do so without Lubomir Visnovsky, who’s been placed on the IR list.

Meanwhile, Dustin Penner won’t complete (or even start) any checks, Sheldon Souray’s upset because he can’t find a decent hair jelly to maintain his quaff, Daryl Katz astonishingly owns the Cracker Cats now, and nerds are dressing up like Klingons and robbing the good citizens of the Federation down in the US.

What’s next? Zebras and Lions hugging? Fans NOT demanding MacT’s head on a platter? Brownlee cracking a smile? Amber McCormick finally agreeing to go on a date with me? My gods, what a terrifying world this place is becoming! Someone hit me in the face with a shovel, please.

So even though things are dire in the Nation right now, I’m going to predict a hard-fought Oilers win tonight. Sure, I know sweet tweet about hockey compared to Wanye Gretz and Robin Brownlee, but I know what my guts tell me: “Eat something, bingofuel. Something greasy. Good. Now type ‘Oilers will win tonight 3-2’.”

Oilers will win tonight 3-2.