Return of the dead


Ever go to a stag to have the time of your life but end up contracting the Norwalk virus along with 4 of your buddies? Ever spend a week lying in a pool of your own filth and spend so much time barfing you now qualify as a supermodel?

We did. And believe us when we say – avoid contracting stomach ailments as much as you are able. Particularly when you are 5-alarm buckled drunk. Being super gassed and super sick at the same time is a singular experience that should be scratched off your bucket list as “not really worth it.”

We didn’t even have the jam to twitter that we were dying. All we had the ability to do is watch about 10,000 episodes of Lockdown on MSNBC, 106th and Park on BET and assorted other shows on the PVR. When that fun ended we cracked open 24 for the first time and watched almost the entire show. If we are on a non stop 24 type rant for the next couple of weeks you will have to forgive us. Something else will come along to grab our attention and just like the Norwalk virus it too will eventually pass.


We can’t believe that we actually got three – count em three! – emails from Nation readers asking where we were exactly. That just goes to show you if we ever contract another incapacitating illness we won’t be left Chez Wanye with our corpse rotting for weeks on end. Emails from concerned hockey fans will fill our inbox until someone does a reverse IP searched linked to our GPS phone. From there they will triangulate our position using the GPS phone signal and will be able to make a call to the CIS strike team who will immediately swoop down on our position and medivac us to safety. It’s kind of like our own personal Medic-Alert bracelet.



Straight up old tymer.

So what did we miss?

*crickets chirping*

Ah, so it would seem. No new Coach, no trade talk, no quotables, no excitement. The Stanley Cup marches on with about as much zest as it can given that real games ended on game 82 of the regular season. Other than that there doesn’t seem to be much of anything going on. Well that isn’t entirely true. Bob Stauffer showed up on the Nation for the first time that we can recall and engaged Brownlee and Willis in a battle of CIS goalie talk. As a former guy-involved-with-the-Bears we can understand Stauffer’s attachment to the scene. If we knew of a single Golden Bear of note other than Brad Tutschek in the past 10 years we might weigh in.

Instead we will move along to the other crumbs of interest lying about.

MacTavish as Coach in Calgary

One fact that was brought to our attention is that Craig MacTavish is being mentioned as a possible candidate to replace Iron Mike Keenan, who was unceremoniously ousted as the Coach of the Flames. An excellent write up on the matter can be read over at the FlamesNation if you enjoy reading about implosions and poor decisions down South like we do. 

Personally we would think it would be hilarious if ol’ MacT ended up in Calgary. We were mystified a couple of weeks back  why MacT hasn’t sat down and at least granted an interview with a local scribe. Eight years and millions of salary dollars later apparently entitles a man to walk without so much as a goodbye. Why not finish off the insult with a short trip down the QEII and set up shop in Calgary?

Erik Cole is brutal

Ah yes. We haven’t forgotten about you Erik Cole. We haven’t taken the bait of late despite Gregor’s numerous jibes at the fact we (used) to like Erik Cole and that he is playing quite er, uneffectively, in these here postseasons. If Gregor knew anything about anything he would know that we haven’t liked Cole since we almost fought a Cole Jersey wearing Canes fan awhile back. Now that we hate him we can definitely enjoy watching him struggle in the playoffs. How your numbers doing again Big E?


Well, at least your wife is happy right?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    @ Librarian Mike:
    Why thank you! Losing 14 pounds in 6 days was what happened to me. Has everyone here been behaving themselves?

    I've had it as well and lost 11 pounds in 4 days. Is this is what childbirth is like? Water(!!!) was moving through my colon like a japanese bullet train. Praise Jeebus they invented 3-ply "soft" toilet paper or I'd still be bleeding from parts unknown to this very day.

    In the future, I have an emergency kit all set up in the washroom in case this ever happens again. It includes the bible, the koran, buddhist scriptures, a severed head with a candle on top, and a shotgun in the event the other stuff doesn't work.