Mike Comrie signs with the Oil?

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Now we don’t disagree with Robin Brownlee about anything – ever. It’s not because we are scared of him, but more we are scared of the things he would do to us if we ever angered him. Sure we love a good drive by shooting as much the next guy, but we are far too pretty to have our face rearranged by “BC’s most dangerous man 1977.”

But a couple of hours ago we were messaged by a guy we know who said “now that you have got your head out of your (edited) and returned to writing on the Nation, you might be interested in discussing the fact that it would appear Daryl Katz has personally wired up a one year deal for 1.3 million with Mike Comrie.” Our eyes shot out of our head so fast that we put down the bag of cans we were scavanging in the river valley and ran straight home screaming at the top of our lungs, bloody eye sockets and all.

Now we aren’t here to start a database of falsehoods in our best Eklund imitation. We aren’t going to engage in idle speculation about how billionaires are rarer than foreign tourists in Edmonton and how Bill Comrie and Daryl Katz are probably friends on some level which could have led to a dialogue being opened with Dot Com’s camp. We wouldn’t presume to weigh in on an unlikely rumor that could be a potential disaster this season.

We won’t pretend that we know better than Brownlee who told us back on August 19:

“While Comrie, now 29, is good enough to play in the Oilers top six and could be had for a discount rate, like maybe $2 million in a one-year contract, it’s a profoundly bad idea on so many levels I don’t even know where to start.”

However interesting re-signing Comrie would be in an attempt to exercise the “everyone hates Edmonton” demons that began when he left town back in 2003 under a cloud of rumors and cloak-and-daggery, we won’t lower ourselves onto the slippery slope of discussing this in great detail.

But you can.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    WTF, this coul dbe bad bad bad. But then again, things we thought would be awesome turned out bad. Maybe reverse psychology and it turns out good??

    I think the worst part would be the lost wiggle room in cap space.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Ender the Dragon wrote:

    Wanye, who is this ‘guy you know’? Was he drunk?

    File him under businessman who is ballin rich and knows a ton of people but is unconnected in the hockey world. This file folder could also be labelled "sources that a real reporter wouldn't quote but has told me truths before the nation was born"

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    File him under businessman who is ballin rich and knows a ton of people but is unconnected in the hockey world. This file folder could also be labelled “sources that a real reporter wouldn’t quote but has told me truths before the nation was born

    That doesn't exactly sell the source too well.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Take the Oilers' lineup as it stands today. Add Comrie. Subtract Nilsson.

    Are we now a better team, also with a slightly lower cap hit?

    I say yes.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ Travis Dakin:

    I don't want to give the impression that I have Bob Mackenzie's phone number, but I'm not quoting one of my buddies from the bottle depot either.

    Put it this way – I believe him.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I should add that I say yes even though Mike Comrie might be my least-liked player in the league which has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I worked for his dad many years ago and still wake up screaming in the night occasionally at the flashbacks so you can understand how difficult it is for me to endorse (albeit very hesitantly) this idea.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Rob wrote:

    Guys with big heads are usually powerful….

    That's what she said.

    @ humantorch:

    You worked for the Brick and you have live in Amsterdam?

    *imagines the dots that connect that line*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    . . . sources that . . . has told me truths

    OK, so it rules out Eklund, gaining at least one credibility point from that fact alone. Still, Wanye, this is hard to take at face value. I mean, I get that you wouldn't take the time to write and post something this ludicrous if you didn't think the thing was anything but genuine. Still, if you told me that the Oil signed that big bad-ass dude whose picture was in your baseball write-up a little while ago, I'd have an easier time believing it. (What was his name again? . . .) [shuffles off to the research library]

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Comrie has been a 30 goal scorer. With the right line mates *read: HEMSKY* he would put the puck in the net and he is slick as sh*t too. I think that would be a pretty line. I really think it would be great for the Oilers to have Horcoff concentrating on the defensive side. Him and Pisani would be the best shut down line in the league.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wait, does this mean Hil Duff is going to be sporadically showing up at Rexall during the season?

    *packs up his rape kit, gasses up the van, and heads back to the homeland*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    If this is true… Oy vey.

    Not to say Mikey couldn't do some good on his second go 'round in Oil silks, but what happened to getting bigger?

    Are we gonna outfit all the shrimps with slings to take down the giants on the opposing team? Are we outsourcing our forwards to Northlands as jockeys? Are we "getting harder to play against" by becoming as small and elusive as possible? Do we want to make Dustin Penner think he's the Gulliver to our Lilliputians so that he'll help us defeat the other team as Blefuscudians? Are we attempting to ice a team so small, it makes the opposition think they're very high up thus giving them vertigo? Does Daryl Katz have an inoperable tumor, so he's loading all our forwards into a microscopic ship to be injected into his body so they can do battle with the evil cells?

    (pants for breath)

    Seriously, if we get any smaller, I'm just playing this song over all our highlights.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    @ Racki:
    Good points all around. If he does come back I would have to hive him props for coming back to face the mob at RX1. That wouldn’t be easy to do.

    Yes exactly, it would be pretty big for both sides to sweep the past under the rug.

    So can you give us a small hint here.. is your source someone connected to the sports world, or is it just Jonathan Willis? (sorry, little Bob Stauffer humor..)

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Many people wrote on this site something like this: "I hope the Oil do something soon, anything!"

    Well, the lesson is : Be careful what you wish for…

    Comrie at 1.3??? I bet we could have Robert Lang or D. Moore for the same amount.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    jeanshorts wrote:

    Wait, does this mean Hil Duff is going to be sporadically showing up at Rexall during the season

    She turned into quite the dish eh?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    that big bad-ass dude whose picture was in your baseball write-up a little while ago

    Walter Young. That's his name; the guy I'd think had an inside track for this year's roster ahead of Comrie.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    This could be good in two ways:
    1)We're ditching Nillllsssson somehow to make it happen (added bonus of never having to figure out if it's one l and two s's or two l's and one s or two t's and two s's or one l and one s).
    2)Helping to show players around the league that we've changed and it's ok to play here. Screw you Heatley.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Godzilla wrote:

    bet we could have Robert Lang or D. Moore for the same amount.

    So? Why would we want that? Oilers + Comrie – Nilsson= a better team.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ Downright Fierce:

    You owe me the two minutes of my life that I spent watching that Randy Newman video back please.

    @ Jeanshorts:

    As if you have a rape kit. All you need to do is lift your shirt, revealing your 15 pack of abs and the panties take themselves off.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    @ Downright Fierce:
    You owe me the two minutes of my life that I spent watching that Randy Newman video back please.

    I actually preferred it to the two minutes of work I was paid to be doing. Thanks, DF. 🙂

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Now that I have calmed down I see this as a no lose situation for the Oilers. Its like last year when the flames signed big Bert to a one year deal. Both players had reasonable success in the past, but recently have struggled. By signing Comrie to little sallery we may look back at this as a steal if he has success, if not It would only be a one year deal- no stings attached. Interesting you said we would give him a 1.3 mill. deal, nhlnumbers says we have 1.49 so this deal fits.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    @ Downright Fierce:

    You owe me the two minutes of my life that I spent watching that Randy Newman video back please.

    I watched two minutes of that Sean Kingston video yesterday and I demand four minutes of life back.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Something being a bad idea doesn't preclude it from happening.
    Stranger things haver happened . . . if it was only September 1, I could say more, but . . .

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye, did your source give you any kind of timeline on this deal? It doesn't seem like the kind of thing you could just sit on very long. Both Comrie and the Oil understand that NHL training camps are almost upon us and days matter here; I would think if this deal was going to happen, we'd hear about it from official sources within a few days, neh?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Robin Brownlee wrote:

    Something being a bad idea doesn’t preclude it from happening.
    Stranger things haver happened . . . if it was only September 1, I could say more, but . . .

    DAMN YOU BROWNLEE!!!!!!!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ Robin Brownlee:

    Just because you can't write a whole article doesn't mean you can't spend some time and spill a few idle thoughts with your friends, RB.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Robin Brownlee wrote:

    Something being a bad idea doesn’t preclude it from happening.
    Stranger things haver happened . . . if it was only September 1, I could say more, but . . .

    Hey Gretz? Go return those discount granola bars, and pay this man so he can yell at us in article form with insight and venom. Thanks in advance.