Picking the goat

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Picking the Goat for the 2009-10 hockey season is almost more difficult than picking the Star. Firstly, one has to take a look at the team’s overall chances and the likelihood someone is going to take multiple blamings as the season wears on. The better your team, the less likely your goat is going to take a beating.

Say you are one of the eleven remaining fans of the Harlem Globetrotters.You have a reasonably good chance that your team won’t lose a single game all season and odds are that the blistering basket shoot-scoring of the Washington Generals won’t keep you up late on most nights. In this instance you have no real need for a Goat as success seems assured.

Now say you are a fan of the local ice hockey squadron, the Edmonton Oilers. Following their liver shredding Cup run in 2006, the Oilers have amazingly missed the playoffs three years in a row. This has not gone over well in the OilersNation where fans have become surely at best and murderous at worst. We had a long discussion with some of the boys about the temperature of the crowds that will enter RX1 this coming season. What will the prevailing mood be? Hopeful hope? Anger filled anger? Something inbetween like tepid indifference? It really could go either way.

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The purpose of picking a Goat is to be able to hang your hat on an Oiler and blame him for the entire buffet table of bitter tasting woe that the Oilers serve to us on such a regular basis of late. When you name a particular player as your Goat he becomes the whipping boy for the entire team and a theraputic release for all things bad.

Ales Hemsky whiffs one? Damn the Goat for passing him the puck in such an off tempo manner. Oh it wasn’t the Goat that passed him the puck? Damn his poor positional play causing a hurried pass. Goat boy wasn’t on the ice for the whiff? Curse his bench sitting technique all to hell!

Now should your Goat actually cause some sort of unfortunate incident on the ice? Now you’re talking! Friends witnessing the gaffe will often look to you and say “good call going with ___ as your Goat this season. That guy is twelve shades of shit.” You can then sit back, smug in your predictory skills, almost taking pleasure at the brutalness of Senor Goato.

This is the way we pass the winter Nation. Until we figure out a way to keep Edmonton 24 degrees year round, this is the best we can do.

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2009-2010 Goat Selecto

Last year we famously picked Dennis Grebeshkov to be the Goat for the season. Though some in the Nation figured his dramatically improved play, team leading plus/minus (or something) and (something something) meant he had turned the corner as an NHL player they couldn’t be more wrong. While we were focused on his terrible play, worse attitude and awful results we found that we actually began to truly dislike him as the season wore on.

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Think we hated Grebs last year? Check back now that it is 2010 and Goatie McGrebeshkov has signed a 3 million dollar deal. A 3 million dollar deal!? Has the entire world gone crazy? What in the sweet holy hell is going on? Remember when Grant Fuhr signed that crazy free agent contract with the Leafs? What did he make, like $1.8 MM or something? Now Grebeshkov makes 3 million? How do you think that makes Grant Fuhr feel? We will tell you how it makes Grant Fuhr feel. Not very good! And he has found a second life on the celebrity golf circuit.

No, no, no. This won’t do at all. We love Grant Fuhr. Screw you Grebs, looks like you are up as the Goat deuce years in a row.

One final note

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It’s (Preseason) Game Day Bitches.

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*runs off to liquor store, because if the hobos downtown have taught us anything it’s that unemployed people drink whenever the hell they please*


  • I'm a Scientist!

    ScubaSteve wrote:

    Sully got both, Comrie is looking good tonight, Shremp looks great on the PP, but kinda invisible other than that. Staois looks awful, Chorney, JFJ and Stortini are looking good to me.

    Nice. Looks good for my Sully star prediction and my Statios old man Goat choice too.
    Did JDD start? Or has Dubnyk been in the whole time.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ ScubaSteve:

    Well at least he's consistent. That seemed to be his M.O last year in the few games he played.

    Man, it is a little odd seeing Comrie in the beautiful Oiler silks.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ RossCreek:
    Oilersnation grew exponentially almost from it's inception… It's time you crossed over to the light my friend…(You know you want to!)

  • I'm a Scientist!

    jeanshorts wrote:

    Whhhhooooooooo. Pre Season!
    Should we put all our stock into pre-season wins like Canuck fans did last year?

    Didn't they win the division?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ Chris:

    All they have is NW Division banners. Every time I go to GM Place I ask where they keep all their Cup banners. Edmonton made room for theirs.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    ScubaSteve wrote:

    JDD started, looked solid, overplayed a couple shots, but kept it out.

    Do you mean JDD or Dubnyk ? JDD played the first half and Dubnyk the last half. Dubnyk seemed to overplay some shots a bit.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Oh man, you just have to love the Flames 3 star picks. They lose 4-1 and get first and third stars ? Hello ? Typical homer picks. I know it's pre-season, but give me a break.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Cogs would be my choice for star.

    And my donkey is Horcoff.

    i think these are pretty basic, i dont think Horcoff is a first line center, and if hes played as one, then the amount of wiffs by horcoff this year could actually keep the ice frozen.

    I am hoping Cogs will step it up and spin the whole "Heatly" thing into a positive for him. Also hes fast which could be good.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    looks like Flames need Theo tonight. Good effort by Oil. Did anyone catch Bob on the radio, he said he was the worst one at the fitness camp. Now that is good radio
    hahahahahaha

  • I'm a Scientist!

    jeanshorts wrote:

    Take that Horcoff haters!
    What? This is still pre-season? Oh.

    He missed yet another open net in the first. But I'm hoping he has a banner year. Still has to prove his "new" salary.

    Stone had a pretty good game!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    oilitsinyoutogive wrote:

    Cogs would be my choice for star.
    And my donkey is Horcoff.
    i think these are pretty basic, i dont think Horcoff is a first line center, and if hes played as one, then the amount of wiffs by horcoff this year could actually keep the ice frozen.
    I am hoping Cogs will step it up and spin the whole “Heatly” thing into a positive for him. Also hes fast which could be good.

    Sorry. HERE, HERE give this man a cigar!!!!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    oilitsinyoutogive wrote:

    Cogs would be my choice for star.
    And my donkey is Horcoff.
    i think these are pretty basic, i dont think Horcoff is a first line center, and if hes played as one, then the amount of wiffs by horcoff this year could actually keep the ice frozen.
    I am hoping Cogs will step it up and spin the whole “Heatly” thing into a positive for him. Also hes fast which could be good.

    Jizz in my pants.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Can't we pick 3 for that vote cause I would say staos cause he's getting old and going downhill Moreau cause he is still taking stupid penalties and pouliot cause he just will never get it I hope schremp makes it before that loser does

  • I'm a Scientist!

    fasteddie wrote:

    Good effort by Oil. Did anyone catch Bob on the radio, he said he was the worst one at the fitness camp. Now that is good radio
    hahahahahaha

    Are you surprised, he is grossly out of shape. I can't even watch the PPV when he is on TV. You would think he would take some pride in his appearance, since he is a public figure.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Matt wrote:

    Are you surprised, he is grossly out of shape. I can’t even watch the PPV when he is on TV. You would think he would take some pride in his appearance, since he is a public figure.

    One of the most ignorant posts on the nation ever. Who are you to say he doesn't take pride in his appearance? He's always very well dressed, well groomed, and conducts himself with class. But you want to call him out because he is overweight? Maybe think next time before you make a post that personally attacks someone, and makes you look like an @sshat.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    ScubaSteve wrote:

    Matt wrote:
    Are you surprised, he is grossly out of shape. I can’t even watch the PPV when he is on TV. You would think he would take some pride in his appearance, since he is a public figure.

    One of the most ignorant posts on the nation ever. Who are you to say he doesn’t take pride in his appearance? He’s always very well dressed, well groomed, and conducts himself with class. But you want to call him out because he is overweight? Maybe think next time before you make a post that personally attacks someone, and makes you look like an @sshat.

    hahaha.

    @sshat. worst kind of hat.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    And also just a little something to whoever it was who said Gagner was slow. Gagner is NOT slow he just has an amazing ability to slow the game down to go along with all the other AMAZING talents the kid has and he is not the smallest player on the ice. He is about the same size as his dad was who I might add was a pretty fine player also. Gagner has 10 times the talent his dad has. So go back to hockey school you fool or don't bother commenting on players you know nothing about

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Dallas wrote:

    And also just a little something to whoever it was who said Gagner was slow. Gagner is NOT slow he just has an amazing ability to slow the game down to go along with all the other AMAZING talents the kid has and he is not the smallest player on the ice. He is about the same size as his dad was who I might add was a pretty fine player also. Gagner has 10 times the talent his dad has. So go back to hockey school you fool or don’t bother commenting on players you know nothing about

    These same people are calling him "Gagne" or "Ganger". That pretty much says it all.

    After watching what Sam did against Vancouver last year I don't think much is past him. Any idiot that slags this kid has spent a bit too much time in the EA Sports world and not enough actually going to a few games to see how good this kid actually is.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    not going to lie, a liiiiittttllleee bit drunk from Killswitch Engage, In Flames and Protest the Hero. But even so, my picks are O'Sully (yes i just found out he had 2 goals but hes been my pick for a couple days) for Star and Staios for Goat. Here'es hoping Peckham steals Staios's spot and repeats his Claude Lemieux performance against some Calgary Flames.