GDB 44: Party Time

Oh we hate Fridays.The misery that comes as you count down your final eight hours of the work week. The terrible knowledge that the weekend is upon us and that there will be two whole days of not having to work before the joy of Monday returns. Someone may try and sell you beer in the next 48 hours for heavens sakes. We must have the strength to say, “No thanks friend. I don’t need beer to enjoy yourself.”

*pregnant pause*

If you are watching the game tonight do your ol’ pal Wanye a favour. If you are near Edmonton — come to Hudsons on Bourbon Street. Click on the Game Day Party ad on the main page and print off the evite too. We were originally going to use the money to support the rebel troops closing in on the Capital City and General Montoya. His bloody regime must be brought to an end by any means necessary.

Then it was helpfully pointed out to us that we don’t actually know any rebel troops and that General Montoya is simply someone we made up in our head. Apparently imaginary political causes can’t accept real money as donations. Instead it was politely pointed out  that the Nation is currently supporting Kids with Cancer and that for every evite returned the people at Hudsons will donate $2. Decent.

For those of you who won’t be in attendance…

We will pour a little on the ground for the homies that can’t be with us. Top of the list: Willis. If he lived in Edmonton — or Alberta for that matter — we would load up the Nation Van with duct tape, a black hood and some Twizzlers, in case we got hungry on the way. Then we would cruise over Chez Willis, kindly negotiate with Mrs. Willis, then strong-arm Jonathan out of the house and roughly load him into the van. Then we would go to the party.

Those of you who won’t be in attendance — our hearts and thoughts are with you. We generally get a little emotional watching Ryan Smyth playing for any team that doesn’t rhyme with Snoilers. We may get a little extra emotional after a few beers tonight, especially if Smyth scores. We will need emotional support to get us through the evening and we appreciate all the help we can get. We will also be selling off the tickets to the Oilers rematch against the Wild on Jan 30. These tickets were donated by Buck75 to the cause. Personally we wouldn’t part with Oilers tickets if someone had our entire family hostage.

But we don’t negotiate with terrorists.

That’s our policy.

Thoughts of last night

When Sheldon Souray positively ended the life of Weller we can’t help but think fondly of all the Souray haters that didn’t give the guy a moment’s peace on the airwaves and on the Nation in the off-season. Still think that he was a bad signing? Other than the odd giveaway here and there he has basically been everything that the Oil wanted when they brought him in. Plus he is a rockstar that make the ladies go “OOOOOOOWHEEEEE!”

And when is the last time Liam Reddox did that? Huh? Never.

That’s when.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ Ender the Dragon:
    believe me your mom is not, at all, offended. She swears like sailor!

    ~this, for the record, is not an invitation to begin 'mom' jokes. All violators will be prosecuted to the full extent of the Wayne-law*

    *Wayne-law: (n)
    -to be spanked within an inch of your life- in the bad way.
    -sent to bed without Souray

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ Amber:

    See, and now I've gone and embarassed my mom all to heck, her reading over my shoulder and all. Apologies. And when are we seeing that darn 'edit' function already . . .

  • I'm a Scientist!

    David S wrote:

    So if Wanye and BM met Tencer in the bar, would Wanye shove BM out of the way and proceed to pound the living crap out of Dan-O, switching hands in the middle of the scrap to get the best hits in?
    Wanye for Captain!

    What we would actually do is do that tag team thing where Wanye grabs like forearm and sling shots me into the flying drop kick. Then we would lift his limp carcass into a tag team power bomb through a table. Wanye would deliver the people's elbow and I will follow up with a devastating figure 4.

    *When all is done and bodies have been destroyed Wanye and baggedmilk collapse into tears*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    baggedmilk wrote:

    We are licensed practitioners and I will not have you tarnishing our reputation

    See, that would carry more weight but for the recent diagnoses of Amber's prostate . . .

  • I'm a Scientist!

    So if Wanye and BM met Tencer in the bar, would Wanye shove BM out of the way and proceed to pound the living crap out of Dan-O, switching hands in the middle of the scrap to get the best hits in?

    Wanye for Captain!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Amber wrote:

    *whatever you do DO NOT approach the black van with the teardrop window, “JSBM Prostate Exams 25¢”* You’ll thank me later.

    We are licensed practitioners and I will not have you tarnishing our reputation.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Sure wish I could drive a few hours and go drinking in Edmonton at Hudson's tonite…but no….instead…I'll be rockin' it out at home.

    Big ups to Peso de setenta y cinco for the tix for auction, smooth move brother, smooth.

    *chokes back tears*

    …and goilers…

    *chokes back more tears*

    *holds self*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Have fun tonight boys..and Amber. Unfortunately, I live 503kms south of Bourbon street, and apparently people get sick on Friday nights too. It would have been fun to drink all you girls under the table.

    Tell you the truth, Id be kinda scared to meet the genious minds behind this site… Isnt humour usually used by the weird/ugly/fat kids as a way to fit in and get people to like them? It would be like reading the book AFTER watching the movie, ruins the imagination of it all. All you can picture is that panzy Matt Damon, when it should have been a 30 year-old Bob Barker in a neon leotard playing the character Jason Bourne.

    You all will be missed at the JL meeting. (Well tomorrow morning, when I re-read it and laugh my ass off. I tried following along and posting one game but I kept forgetting to hit the effing "refresh" button.)

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Bruthah wrote:

    @ pdan:
    Those are pics of Dan Tencer, not Jdubs. By the way, where is willis sending all his glorious stats from?

    I know that. I was referring to Willis' pic at the end of his articles. But kudos to Tencer, he's covering a team that was in its glory days when he was a sparkle in his daddy's eye.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Oh god, another divisional game. Does anyone with stats wizardry happen to know the Oil's record against the Northwest over the last 2.5 seasons? If I had to guess I would say 4-55-2

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately I could give two squirts of piss what this little weiner wants or thinks.

    I'm concerned. Your inability to provide two squirts of piss is clear sign of a prostate issue. May I suggest a visit to your friendly neighboorghood proctologist? It's cause I care.

    *whatever you do DO NOT approach the black van with the teardrop window, "JSBM Prostate Exams 25¢"* You'll thank me later.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    MJ wrote:

    Yikes, your obsession with Tencer is unhealthy there Wanye. Though I’m sure you’d enjoy seeing your face repeated a dozen times on the Oilers front page, I’d bet the reverse is not true.

    Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately I could give two squirts of piss what this little weiner wants or thinks.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    i'm ready to start the "Souray for Captain" drive

    he's been the complete package
    not sure how he fits in the "rift in the locker room" picture, but when he speaks, people listen
    (again, ask Weller or Ohlund)

    Moreau's been decent, when he hasnt been injured, but he's in no way taken the place of Smith.

    IMO

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Yikes, your obsession with Tencer is unhealthy there Wanye. Though I'm sure you'd enjoy seeing your face repeated a dozen times on the Oilers front page, I'd bet the reverse is not true.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    i think souray has been the most consistent player (after hemsky of course)this season, and we he fights he beats up the otherplayer( just ask weller ans ohlund)
    what if we could clone souray.or maybe he should beat up the entire locker room, so they can start playing like him…..