Calling all bandwagon-jumpers…

We have had four messages from buddies/readers that basically say, “WHOA, you can actually see the bandwagon start to fill up on the Nation right now can’t you? It happened in like a day! Bet you don’t want to fire MacT now do you Wanye, you wanker?”

Originally we thought, “Yeah WTF? We hate bandwagon jumpers more than we hate people from Norman Wells. And we hate people from Norman Wells.”

But after some re-reading of comments we realize that the bulk of bandwagon climber-onners are Citizens of the Nation who are die-hard fans who comment all the time. In our mind they have earned the right to be unreasonably optimistic if they so choose. It’s the folks that altogether ignore the Oil — or even worse diss them continually when they are in the toilet only to climb aboard the wagon when the team inevitably catches fire each spring — that we really hate. These bandwagon-jumping idiots can just go back to Norman Wells and spend their days combing their moustaches and watching Season 3 of Magnum PI for all we care.

Losers.

Now we have these bandwagon-jumping clowns saying, “But Wanye you wanted to see MacT fired and thrown into the street by the same RX1 ushers who throw out anyone who has more than half a beer in their possession. Now, you’re sending him daily boxes of toenails to show him your love. You’re a bandwagon jumper too just like us.”

Here’s the thing. We look at MacT like we look at any other appliance with a specific function. For the sake of argument let’s call him a hot plate.

Fig. 1: Coach MacTavish
Fig. 1: Coach MacTavish

If we have a hot plate and it’s working, life is good. We can heat up our beans, or some nice soup, or whatever we need to be hot at any given moment. We love the hot plate. But the instant that thing doesn’t bring our creamed corn to a piping hot temperature what do we do?

We throw out the hot plate.

Why? Because it no longer works. We don’t sit and try and convince the hot plate to do a better job. We don’t think to ourselves, “Maybe it’s the corn’s fault for not heating up,” or “Maybe it will work better in a few months.” We don’t blame it on the toaster or decide that tepid corn is an acceptable alternative. No. When the hot plate stops working we go and get ourselves a new hot plate.

Same with the coaching staff. You certainly don’t want a revolving door of coaches who are canned the instant the Oil fall behind in the first period of a game. Long-term coaching stability is good for a franchise — assuming they’re doing a good job. But at the same time if you have a coaching staff that is incapable of heating up the team beyond a tepid temperature in the long run, it’s time to get new coaching staff. All the people that say “Eight years of mediocrity ain’t it” are correct in our mind. Sometimes the old hot plate fires up for a few days and all is well again, but it doesn’t mean we won’t be price shopping for a new one and waiting for it to finally pack it in.

It’s not rocket science. We like our hockey like we like our cream corn. Hotter than a $3 pistol.

So going into the all star game we love all the excitement up in this piece because that old hot plate seems to be working again. But we still have one eye on the door in case we need to go to the store.

I think this is one of our most analytical articles to date. Ever call MacT a hot plate, Professor Willis?

Thought not.

Now if you will excuse us, we have a war to prepare for.

PS: four days till Gretzmas.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Finally it's broken down into words that I can understand! Thanks for speaking my language Wanye. hint, hint Willis!)

    p.s. I got my Nation shirt yesterday and I am sporting it today. It's looking tight… as in good, not as in too small. A thought though… The Oilersnation.com should be a little more visible and the logo too. It's hard for people not in the know to… know what I am sporting. But Damn it's sexy.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    MattL wrote:

    Yep, the complexity of any workplace involving the efforts of 30+ people constantly working together in different combinations, competing with 30 other groups of 30+ people is EXACTLY as simple as a hot-plate heating up some weenie-beanie.
    Yep. Exactly as many variables in place.
    What somebody needs to do is hook up a CoachMeter to MacT’s positive and negative terminals, see if any Coaching is coming out, and then either keep him or take him to the Coach Recycling Facility (AKA. Calgary Flames Organization.)

    See MattL gets it.

    The coachmeter is an excellent idea too. Remember how we couldn't hook Ted Green up to it cause of that plate in his head?

    It was so hard to get a read on that guy.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Yep, the complexity of any workplace involving the efforts of 30+ people constantly working together in different combinations, competing with 30 other groups of 30+ people is EXACTLY as simple as a hot-plate heating up some weenie-beanie.

    Yep. Exactly as many variables in place.

    What somebody needs to do is hook up a CoachMeter to MacT's positive and negative terminals, see if any Coaching is coming out, and then either keep him or take him to the Coach Recycling Facility (AKA. Calgary Flames Organization.)

    p.s. You can see why bands don't roll around on wagons anymore, people always jumping on and off, and you're just trying to keep a beat with the Sousaphone…

  • I'm a Scientist!

    MacT is a hotplate …… I'm going to have to think about this for a bit Wanye. There is no one else that talks like you do. LOL

    Hot plate

    *shakes head and laughs*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I dont really think its bandwagon jumping to be angry at the Oilers when they arn't winning and happy when they are. Its the people that claim they won't ever watch another Oilers game until they fix all the problems etc etc etc. When the Oilers lose its heartbreaking and its like Beer, no matter how sick it makes you one night you are back to it the next.

    P.S The hotplate is still broken and sooner or later someone is going to get burnt if you dont fix it.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I am not even cautiously optimistic yet. But I am anxious for the Buffalo and Minnesota games next week. I'll be watching with the hopes I'll start February as an optimistic Oiler fan again.

    They haven't done enough to turn my negative machine off yet, but they're close.