Moose Jaw Diaries

Where do you go when it’s freezing in your hometown? Somewhere warm? Somewhere you can sit on a beach and have a margarita? To a knitting convention in Missouri? Well we went to Moose Jaw and we got our drink on. And we did nothing much else but sit around, hammer back Cold Certifieds and think about dancing girls and hockey.

All-Star Game

Yeah yeah yeah. Souray scored two goals and Andrew Cogliano won the fastest skater competition. Isn’t that something. You know what else is even more something? Every single second of the NHL season including the pre-season that doesn’t involve the All-Star Game.

Don’t get us wrong, it’s great to see Oilers on display and bringing the thunder. But the All-Star Game is 500 shades of suck. Datsyuk and Lidstrom didn’t even show up, for heavens sakes. You can’t sit here and tell us that the players went to Montreal and gave it their all. Come on. Sheldon Souray didn’t even win the hardest shot competition. We can tell you that if Sheldon Souray wanted to win the hardest shot competition then Sheldon Souray would have won the hardest shot competition. Why didn’t Souray take the prize? We can tell you why:

Sheldon Souray didn’t win because Sheldon Souray doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone at any time.

Sheldon Souray having to win the hardest shot competition to prove he has the hardest shot is like Chara having to enter a “big donkey” competition to prove he is a big donkey. Please. Sheldon Souray is a stone -hearted killer who can win anything he desires using only the power of his mind. Sheldon Souray won the 2006 World Series of Poker, despite the notable handicap of holding a King of Diamonds, a half filled Subway Club card, a seven of clubs, eight of spades and a Mewtwo Holofoil Pokemon Trading Card.

Nope. If Souray didn’t win the hardest shot competition it’s cause he doesn’t want it. If he doesn’t want it neither do we.

*spits on imaginary hardest shot trophy*

A new rule

Drinking in Moose Jaw gives a person a hangover in Moose Jaw. A hangover in Moose Jaw gives that same person some time to think. On the eve of The War commencing, we have this sneaking suspicion that we are going to have a whole bunch of new visitors to our little underground pornographic website right away. More and more your old pal Wanye is going to have to become the Minister of Defense for the writers of the sites and keep a handle on some of the commentary.

Believe us, this is not something we want to do. If it were up to us the title of every article would be “BONER TIME? SQUEEEEEEE!” But having re-read some of the comments that we have let slide realize that we have to tighten up a bit. This doesn’t mean that we are going to start editing things to the point you can’t say “Pronger” on here nor does it mean that JL meetings are suddenly going to be about hockey. But we are going to take a more defensive stance for the Willis, Brownlees and Gregors of the world. The JSBMs, the Amber McCormicks and Wanyes of the world will continue to welcome the filthy nonsense.

So here is the new rule:

You can’t attack the writers personally.

Two of them are “actual journalists” with a reputation that we don’t really want to have destroyed because they got into a five-week debate with someone named “hunnybunz69” about whether or not they are in love with K-Lowe and send him flowers on Valentine’s Day.

The comments on this site are to the point where they are better than some of the articles — particularly the articles that we write. With the amount that Brownlee and Gregor are commenting and talking shop, they are basically writing a three-hour live story with commenting guest writers. We are all very fortunate that they do this because it isn’t in either of their contracts. And we can’t think of another site where you can ask questions of a guy who has been an NHL sportswriter for the past 198 years or the main Sports Radio Host in town and they will actually answer you. When they don’t know the answers they actually go and ask the players/coaches/GMs and settle the issue once and for all. No one does that anywhere that we know of.

We are fortunate to be a part of the Oilogosphere here at the Nation. Believe it or not this is the 32,426th busy website in Canada. We know. Crazy right? And for us to take down the Royal Canadian Mint (number 5,006) and Panago.com (15,269) we have to start being a bit more protective of our writers.

So don’t make it personal with the writers. Well wait. You can call us whatever you want. We don’t give two squirts what our shitanus haters think of us. We enjoy the hatred. It makes us stronger.

“You suck Wanye”

– Wanye Gretz

We sure do.

Last thing – The Wanye Gretz All Star Game

To show you how little we care about the All Star game let’s play our very own game. You say something that happened during the All Star weekend and we will tell you what we think of it. Here we will get it started in the comments section.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    one off wrote:

    OK, I’ll bite.
    Wanye – We all know Cogs isn’t actually the fastest skater in the league. Where do you think he actually ranks?

    Wait, wait, let me do this for you, Wanye.

    "ZZZZ"

    The man's hung over, keep the questions under five syllables.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    The Towel Boy wrote:

    Take that Jack E. Billingsworth Elementary School!

    The Vice Principal at JEB Elementary owes me $20 and pretends like he doesn't know me when we meet in the street. Now we have our revenge.

    @ one off:
    Tough to say. He certainly makes his speed evident from time to time but I wouldn't personally put him top ten. Would you?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    RBK wrote:

    “32,426th busy website in Canada.”
    LOL Way to go!

    Think of all the 100's of thousands of other websites in canada that wish they were in the top 32,426!

    Take that Jack E. Billingsworth Elementary School!