Return of the Mats

After seven months of drama, 4,397 stories on TSN/Sportsnet and 1,298,375,984 blogs on the subject, Mats Sundin will make his triumphant return to the ice against your Mighty Edmonton Oilers tonight.

Sundin will be playing alongside Kyle Wellwood and Mason Betha and will be expected by most delusional Canucks fans to bring the entire NHL to it’s knees within moments of stepping on the surface of RX1.

You will forgive us if we don’t share the same enthusiasm or hope for a guy who will be 38 in February. Sure, Sundin is a remarkably steady NHL player having scored 37, 31, 31, 27 and 32 goals in his past five full seasons. But he was drafted the year that Sam Gagner was born and that makes him, oh what’s the word here:

Old.

Old and cranky as evidenced by his dithering and wavering for months on end, while Canucks GM Mike Gillis sat and waited for word on his generous two-year $20 million contract offer. If someone offered us $20 million to do anything including being the “hair eater at Eveline Charles” we would say yes so fast it would make your head explode. But not ol’ Mats. That’s not his style.

First Sundin debated whether he wanted to suit up in the NHL ever again. Then he pondered which team best suited his skills and had the best chance at giving him a shot at ye olde Stanley Cup. Then he decided to sit on the decision until even the most ardent talking heads at Sportsnet were tired of talking about the issue and the season was almost half over.

And then, just when no one really had the energy or interest to care anymore — he decided.

(Swoon)

For a guy who famously quipped that he didn’t “want to become a rental player” his one-year deal for a pro-rated $8.26 million seems exactly that. We seriously doubt that the Canucks would be considered odds-on-favorites this year by anyone living outside of a 10-block radius of GM Place and a one-year deal under isn’t exactly an assurance that he is arriving to build much of anything long term.

For a guy with $74,042,632 in career earnings — big ups to Deep Oil (incredibly) — it can’t be the money though that brought him back, can it? How many IKEA Ormsorgs and ABBA box sets does one need exactly? Doesn’t appearing in a string of unbelievably bad Pokerstars ads pay as well as we would guess it does?

Perhaps one of you genius citizens of the Nation can explain the logic of his signing to us. Explain slowly for as it has been pointed out repeatedly we have the intelligence of a three-year-old who doesn’t pay attention.

Either way, we are sick and tired of smelling/seeing/hearing about Mats Sundin’s signing drama-rama every time we turn on the TV. Now we can settle in to a non stop barrage of 24/7 Sundin coverage as he skates to a measly 15 goals and the Canucks bow out of the first round.

Sweet.

  • Jonathan Willis

    And Sundin is a terrific signing for the Canucks. I'm not going to bother defending that because while he may not be worth the money, does anyone seriously believe the Canucks are better without him?

    As for the irritatingly constant Sundin updates that people were putting out every second day (hello, TSN, Toronto Media, Vancouver Media, Sportsnet, and Eklund), I think the blame for that falls more on the press than Sundin. I know they need to generate copy, but does it say bad things about the Canadian sports media that they'd chose to cover a story that never changes rather than put the time/space into other items? I think it does.

  • Jonathan Willis

    The Towel Boy wrote:

    What?…no blog about how Souray is an All-Star?
    If he was a sandwich, I’d eat him.

    That's being saved for a special Dion Phaneuf: Not An All-Star post.

  • Bruthah

    So yeah, during a conversation with Towel Boy, yes THE Towel Boy, his use of a dollar sign made me think we should call the aforementioned player 'Mat$ $undin'.

  • Colin

    If he wins them ONE game they would have otherwise lost is he worth it? Two, Three?

    It was worth a shot, what else could the lame duck canucks try? Although he is vastly overpaid.

  • jayoilfan

    I hope the dude falls flat on his face on his first shift and breaks his jaw.

    I, like many am totally sick of this moron. It's not about the money, my a$$ it is too!

  • vdizzle6

    i hope mats pokerstars sundin breaks his hip so all the bandwagon nucks fans will finally realize that signing an old swedish plug for 5 milli was a complete waste. 3-2 oil..

  • JRocks247

    Great…a Vancouver team with Mats looking to prove his worth, then a pissed off San Jose team that got routed in Cow Town. Get ready for the "Fire MacT" chant to hit 5th gear.

  • bdubya

    Although the contract is a ridiculous overpay Sundin still makes the Canucks way better in my opinion. They keep winning even though their only good player has been injured half the year. There is no team in the league who wouldnt be way better with an extra 20 goal scorer added to their second line. But really, 10 mil???? Thats insane.