Top drawer analysis

Now anyone who has the great fortune to call us a “friend” “associate” or “former pagent contestant” knows that we take our Oilers hockey pretty seriously. And anyone else who knows us knows that Thursday’s are poker nights. When the two collide – as they often tend to do – it gets real.

Watching games with your buddies is an entirely different experience than attending a game or watching it in a bar. Every play is dissected to the nth degree. Players pasts are often brought into it, statistics are bandied about incorrectly and as the night progresses the booze often takes over. Wild swings of emotion have been known to occur watching the game as a crew. The guy who was standing with his eyes screwed shut, cursing Ales Hemsky aloud can be seen moments later jumping into the arms of his nearest buddy when Hemsky scores. People who confidently pick O’Sullivan as their star grin smugly when he pots the winner in the shootout.

We know a great many folks that insist on watching the game solo, completely free of distractions. We know other folks who only like to watch games live – claiming the television doesn’t do it justice. We have some buddies who refuse to attend poker games when the Oilers game is on because it focuses too much on the game and not enough on the 2% chance you are going to actually river that straight. Not us. We like to experience the Oilers games in a great many scenarios and sitting directly in front of our buddies garage TV, crushing everything we can get our hands around and playing our aggressive brand of Wanye Poker ™is one of our favorite things to do.

Predictions and straight flushes

Our boy Lee – who once famously predicted Fernando Pisani would have a “big playoffs” in 2006, predicted the Oilers would win before the game began and later smashed your boy Wanye with a straight flush to our flush as the Oilers were up 4-1. No lie – we almost threw the TV through the wall. But fortunately we were able to buy back in, grab another beer and get back to the game. A straight flush? Who does that? Lee does that – that’s who the dirty son of a gun.

And what a game wasn’t it? Really Oilers? Is this how we want to play in front of a sold out RX1? Don’t you know that some of us are busy absolutely crushing the life out of a flat of Bud Light and don’t care for the roller coaster of emotion it produced?

Quick question for the folks who were in attendance at RX1 last night. How do you boo the Oilers going into overtime? How does that work exactly you treacherous sons of bitches? You boo when the game is over (if at all) not the critical point in the evening where the team needs support.

The following is the list of points we were going to make – but we will just give them out in a rapid fire format rather than flush them out into actual paragraphs. Last nights game summary would go something like:

  • 4-0 lead surprising
  • Come back a near Titancian collapse
  • Win good
  • O’Sullivan’s shoot out goal = sick
  • Everyone in Edmonton = sick

Further top drawer analysis

If we didn’t feel like we were run over by a Bud Light and 14 cent cigar truck this morning we might go do some research to back up our next statement. But we do, so we won’t, but here it is: there seems to be a boat load of big leads surrendered this year doesn’t there? Haven’t the Flames gassed a massive lead to the Hawks? Didn’t someone else do it too?


We didn’t give the Oil a chance in hell last night, straight up we will admit it. A win is a win and there is nothing but positivity coming off this. Oh and before we forget: 4 Points? Really Penner? Good Gods. Is this for real?

    • Jason Gregor

      I spoke at length with Staios last night. He is going on the trip, but won't play. He just wants to skate and see if he keeps progressing. He felt awful for 10 days, and now he has felt okay for three straight. He was cautiously optimistic. But next Thursday will be the EARLIEST he can return, but more likely later.

      Souray isn't skating, and still doesn't feel that great. Too tough to predict how long, but expect at least another two, if not three, weeks.

      Pisani is ready to go.

      He could play tomorrow, but the Oilers will have to make some financial adjustments to get him on the roster.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    There is so much wrong with my reply, that I am leaving work and going to take this head cold home to infect my family.

    Shouldn't have been directed at @#85 "FLAMESSUCK" Jersey guy in sec 206 and should have read:

    When you write "Didn’t someone else do it too?", could you refering to Columbus choking on their lead vs the Oil?

    I suck.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    The Oil will lose on Sat vs Boston. Why ? Because when can you actually remember when they won a regular season game there ? In the 80's ? I can't. They 'find' reasons to lose there. As for Long Island,….hard to say. It's not a slam-dunk as many may think.

    This team has a looong way to go, despite what their record was 10 days ago. Isn't that what Pat Quinn was saying, …even when they were winning ? All the poor habits !??

  • I too had a rolloercoaster ride from the game last night. Not sure if it was the game or the sugar rush from the 200 halloween chocolate bars I ate.

    Imagine if Dustin Penner keeps putting up the mad numbers & gets placed in a sentence discussing The Olympic team….as Ronaldo, Jeanshorts & the menacer were discussing on twitter last night.

  • I've said it before and I'll say it again; has anyone seen my pants?

    Did anyone else dial 9-1 and then have their finger waiting to type in the last 1 during the third period last night? I was being preemptive because either I was going to light my entire apartment building on fire or my heart was going to explode.

    Most terrifying win of the season so far.

    And uhh, something about Horcoff making too much money, blah blah blah, should send him to Siberia, blah blah blah, I hate myself so I'm going to spend every waking moment complaining about Shawn Horcoff.

  • Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things

    Do I e-mail bingofuel for suggestions for the site?

    I'd like a home-page indicator (above the W-L-OTL counter) that displays Sheldon Souray's status. "Any word on Souray?" has become the new "First".

        • I'm a Scientist!

          Please do! You don't even need to quote me, but i do expect the normal royalty payment — one stick of double bubble and a picture of Lindsay Lohan.

          *goes back to work on figuring out the glitch in the SuperComputer that made him predict a 4-0 loss to Detroit yesterday*

  • Dyckster

    For those of you who were at the game, you gotta admit, from an entertainment perspective, it was totally worth the price of admission. The only thing missing was a May – Stortini tilt.

    I even had a person of the hot female variety sitting directly behind me. Mind you she arrived at the beginning of the second completely gassed out of her mind. She must have been playing poker with Wanye during the 1st period. I heard her exclaim near the end of the game (and she was talking to anyone who would listen), "Can any of you see the puck anymore? Cuz I can't." Good stuff.

    The hockey fan in me loved the game, the Oiler fan, not so much.

    And the guys responsible for replacing the panes of plexi glass, holy sh*t, did they earn their pay! I expecially felt bad for the dude in OT who ran the entire 200 feet of ice with the 20' step ladder only to find out he wasn't needed when he arrived.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    From Eric Duhatschek's article "Head Starts and head shots" in today's Globe:

    "The Edmonton Oilers' Andrew Cogliano may be having a hard time finding the back of the net of late (only two goals in his first 13 games), but he hasn't lost his sense of humour. For the Oilers' annual Hallowe'en party, Cogliano came dressed as Dany Heatley in an old Ottawa Senators' sweater."

    First of all, that's funny as hell.

    Secondly, how in god's name didn't ON have coverage of the Oilers' Halloween party? Did Nilsson come dressed as Ingrid Berman, by chance?

    • I'm a Scientist!

      Coverage of the Halloween party is on the Oilers site. Nilsson was a pirate, more hilariously Penner dressed as Santa Claus with a name bar on his back "No Trade Claus".

      • Hemmertime

        lol I loved the Halloween thing. Cogliano+Penner is the best, but its hard to beat Smid in a pink bunny outfit – Smid is by far the funniest Oiler now that Greene is gone. His dry humor beats Penner's mouth.

        Although I would love to have a Photo of Tom Gilberts costume, not for any perverse reasons but it would be a good thing for him to sign at the Oilers autograph session

  • GSC

    Watched the game last night with one of my buddies, a diehard Wings fan (I live down here in Michigan, Sparty country to be exact).

    When the Oil went up 5-1, and he started to get (justifiably) pissed, I kept telling him that it wasn't anywhere near over…knowing the Oil and my other sports teams like I do, I've grown to get a bit of a sense when things are about to shift either for or against them. I especially noted it after the Chorney fluke bounce goal, Detroit was going to get right back into the game.

    He figured out that I wasn't just blowing smoke and trying to make him feel better when Eaves (and the Strudwick-Peckham pairing) made it 5-5. Best part was once the game went to OT, we stopped and realized just how many beers we'd thrown down: 8 each. The brew went down so smooth and fast given the nervous nature of last night's game that we didn't realize how much of the Creature we'd thrown back…not that it stopped us from continuing.

    Fittingly, well after the toll of midnight had officially signaled my birthday, the Oil pulled it out and gave me a nice bday gift: a shootout win and bragging rights in Wings county for the time being. Best part of the evening was after the game, when Wanye was at the "???" Status, we went the Trailer Park Boys route and ate chicken fingers.

    Good F***in' Times.

      • GSC

        Considering it was Keystone Light, I'd say 8 USB = 6.129 CAB, although the exchange rate fluctuated earlier today.

        I need to get back to Windsor and wrangle up a couple 24's of Kokanee and Rickard's Red.

        • Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things

          I like Keith's Red more than Rickard's Red, but Rickard's Honey Brown is a thing of beauty. I'm not sure if it's like this everywhere, but you can only get Rickard's Honey Brown in a taster's pack (4 brown, 4 red, 4 white).

          • GSC

            1) Beauty username…love me some Hip

            2) Ya I think I'll go with the taster's pack next time I stop at The Beer Store. Pricey, but it's a good 2-hour trip for me to the border so I might as well make it worth my while, eh?

            Alex Keith's IPA is one of my favourite brews…might grab some of that too

  • Gregors dirty 'stash

    that is some top drawer analysis.

    well maybe the penner on the olympic team thing is related to the 2:14AM emotion but hey… it is rather dumbfounding (his early success that is)

  • I wouldn't be too hard on JS. He's had a couple of defections in the past while. Towel Boy up and decided to become an Oilers Nation celebrity, and baggedmilk is most likely a sex slave in Phi Phi.

  • Nilsson went as "the unmotivated pirate". That's just classic stuff.

    Shockingly, nobody here is complaining the game tomorrow is at 11:00 IN THE MORNING. You know that's the prime hangover slot, right?

    • I don't think most people realize it's that early, until tomorrow when they roll out of bed at noon and it's already half way through the second period.
      What is with the east coast and their love of matinee games?

  • Oilchange64

    "No Trade Claus" and "Heatley" is pure classic. Penner is winning me over in more ways than one. He's gone from a guy you wanted to throw a beer at to somebody you would like to sit down and have a beer with….wait, I take that back, too many "wheat based beverages" were his problem before….

      • Gerald R. Ford

        I wish more people (especially journalists/broadcasters) would learn/remember this. Yes, it's a tiny thing, but there's actually a salient difference in functionality between "alternate" and "assistant". "Alternate" makes sense. If the main guy can't go, you (or the other "A") wear the "C". "Assistant" is meaningless. What, you're gonna go make coffee for Moreau whilst he takes another stupid penalty?

  • Librarian Mike

    i was at RX1 last night but was too slammed to remember the third period, let alone booing before overtime. you sure that happened? haha Some observations:
    Kid line got killed…very little offense produced unless of course were talking from a Detroit perspective
    Top line – Hemmer and Penner carried the play the whole night especially on the power play with the absence of Visnovsky
    Strudwick – why god why?

    • GSC

      That blow hard is annoying as hell. His old lady dumped him and he took his fat sorry ass back to Texas thank goodness.

      I love this site, please don't disgrace it by ever mentioning that wannabes name here again.

      Thanks and good night.

  • @GSC

    I like Keiths too. That is also the main reason I'm posting this inane comment hours after not only yours, but the last one on this thread. Haha, good times. Now where was I, oh ya, keiths…g'night.

  • GSC

    The Oilers plain and simple moved away from their game plan and showed their youth. Early on they were aggressively forechecking and when they weren't creating offensive zone turnovers by hitting or stick checking the Wings Dmen they were creating neutral zone turnovers by forcing their dmen to make snap decisions. Detroit was not allowed to play their puck possession game early on. Also with the injuries and the cap situation this is a much different Wings club because now they have a lot of youth and not the savvy veteran presence they have had in previous seasons.

    Also I heard Chicago might have to move Patrick Sharp to make cap room to sign their big three (Kane, Keith, and Toews) what are the chances the Oilers can obtain him?

    • GSC

      There is no chance the oilers obtain him unless they create some cap room themselves, sharp is a great player but historically has been a bit of a bandaid. He has great versatility and clearly has gotten off to a fantastic start to this year, his market value is very high and I would argue, beyond the oilers means as chicago is looking for cash and cap room not salary back.
      That eliminates the oilers at this time, IMO

    • Also I heard Chicago might have to move Patrick Sharp to make cap room to sign their big three (Kane, Keith, and Toews) what are the chances the Oilers can obtain him?

      While its obvious something has to give in Chicago, I don't understand why the common thought is the Sharp (3.9) will be the one to go.

      So who should go? Obviously a guy like Brian Campbell (7.15) would be the 1st name, given his cap hit and the fact the Hawks have Seabrook & Keith (who aren't going anywhere). Cam Barker's a guy I'm sure they'd love to keep, but if Campbell is unmoveable, perhaps he's 3 mil they can move (I'm sure they could get cheap entry-level player(s)/prospect(s)/draft pick(s) if they put him on the block.

      Dallas needs a puck-moving D-man. Would they be interested in Campbell? Chicago sure could use a guy like Marty Turco (not sure if the Stars would move him). Or perhaps a Brad Richards-Brian Campbell swap? It doesn't really help the cap out in the short term, but Richards only has 1 year left vs, Campbell's 6 remaining years. Maybe the Hawks could move Campbell's salary IF they threw in a good, young forward.

      Which leads me to…

      Up front, guys like Dave Bolland (3.375), Dustin Byfuglien (3.0) & Kris Versteeg (3.067) all make 3+. Personally I'd move any of them before Sharp, no? They've got other guys with size in Troy Brouwer & Andrew Ladd that Byfuglien could be moved, and likely with a decent return. The gaffe this past summer may have been a gift & a curse for Versteeg; should be able to get a decent return for him. The Hawks may get a bigger return for Sharp, but their concern should be clearing cap space, not the biggest return. Sharp is an important piece to that club, and at 3.9, they'd be stupid to move him IMO.

      And then they could always throw Cristobal Huet (5.625) down to the minors and pick up another goalie. Of course, this other goalie would have to cost a lot less for there to be any cap savings. *cough*BIRON/ROLOSON*cough*