GDB XXVIII: The Wings and Schwarzenegger references

When was the last time the Oilers played? Like a week ago? And while some of you might remember what the score was, I actually took a page from Minister Towel Boy’s lexicon of pop culture references and paid a little visit to my favourite fictional memory wipe shop, Rekall Inc.

Not only did I get a Mars adventure with a triple-breasted prostitute implanted into my brain, but I also had the fine people at the ol’ Brain Deflator Factory pull the 7-2 loss to the Canucks out of my brain.

Shit, It didn’t work. DAMN YOU COHAGGEN!

Give these people air

Anyone sitting there thinking this team is done for the season is… well, maybe not too far off. My older brother, a PhD in theoretical mathematics declared a few days back that, "Even though it is only December, the Oilers are pretty much toast and will not make the playoffs. They need to play at a 110 pt pace for the rest of the year (or something like that) just to make it. It is over for them for this year."

We put this out to our lovely Twitter followers the other day, and were treated to a further tidbit from oil101:

"If they get 6 pts every 5 games (98 pt pace) they will end up with 90 pts. Last two years cutoff was at 91 pts."

SEE EVERYONE?! THERE’S STILL A CHANCE!

Wings of, hopefully, providence

‘Tis the season for miracles, my friends. So I’m gonna have a sit on ol’ Brownleeclaus’ lap, ask for a Tonka truck for Christmas… then I’ll ask him to slip performance-enhancing drugs into the Oilers’ gatorade. I’m surprised Kay-Z hasn’t thought of this already. Ah, but he’s too busy hiring consultants and trying to get taxpayers to fund an arena.

So tonight we have to go it alone against the Detroit Red Wings. Sure, they’re ranked 10th in western conference while the Oilers are dead last… but we still have a chance. And even if we lose tonight (which we won’t) we can rest easy knowing we’re still a full THREE POINTS ahead of the Maple Leafs. Am I right, guys? Guys?

*crickets chirp*

Hulk smash!

No one likes losing, and you can bet your ass that every last one of the boys on this squad would probably break their sticks in a rage over their performance for far this season — as long as it didn’t severely injury their own goalie. Khabby’s in rough shape as it is.

But broken sticks don’t win games. Hustling, battling, scoring and defending your zone wins games. These guys are tired of being raked over the coals, I’m sure. Tonight they’re going to do all the things they need to do to win… and they’re going to — get this — actually win it.

I said earlier today I thought the Wings would take the game 4-2. I take all that back. Tonight, it’s the Oilers. 4-2.

Book it.

Go Oilers!

  • Shawn Cronin

    The media didn't kill interest in hockey, they killed the CFL or helped kill it.

    For years Edmonton Journal readers were treated to sports columnist Marc Horton bashing the CFL. Pretty soon it was everyone pile on the wagon and bash Canadian football.

    That couldn't be said for the NHL in Canada.

    The worst thing the media do when covering sports here is lob softball questions to athletes and management. Can you blame them? You have to travel with these guys for a good part of the years.

    Cam Cole was the one guy who had the balls to call it like he saw it. Does anybody remember how incensed he got Eskimos middle linebacker Dan Kepley at him? That's real reporting. Cole called it the way he saw it even though he expected a rough ride from what he wrote.

    I'd love to see more of that here. Not adversarial reporting but reporters who ask the tough questions of Oiler management and players.

    -30-

    • Eddie Shore

      Tough questions get asked all the time. Getting an answer is a different matter, and you should know this.

      If a reporter asks tough questions and doesn't get answers, it limits what gets written in a straight news story or a game report, where room for opinion is minimal.

      If a columnist like Cole asks the same questions and doesn't get what he wants, he has the latitude to inject his opinion and say what the coach/player/manager wouldn't. Big difference.

      • This is a good point that can be very easy to forget. I know I forget sometimes when I get frustrated wondering why nobody is asking the obvious. (like when Burke was talking about Heatley, or when he was discussing the Kessel deal)

        As fans we want to hear answers to hard questions, but I would suspect that there isn't a reporter in the world that doesn't prefer to ask tough questions.

  • BarryS

    I listen all the time. In the matter of the last of the Pocklington years and the first years of EIG, the team was neither better nor worse until the lockout but the attitude of the media diffinately did.

    As for your memory as opposed to my memory during those years, what reason can you give your's is better or more important than mine? what proof you are more neutral towards the team than us fans?

    Given I rely on being there and my memory of the articles of the time, I hardly claim or can claim those to be facts. Guess what, my training, such as it is, is in the field of history. I understand that those who lived a period of time and the professions in that field often have different views on what went on. Notice I haven't tsken on Brownlee who is both a professional in the field (as you are now) but also worked the field during the time.

    He hasn't yet weighed in on this thread nor do I expect him to but I suspect he knows more about that time than either of us.