I was looking at my naked girl wall calendar this morning, marveling how awesomely December it is, when I noticed a couple things:
1. My birthday falls on a Sunday this year (lame).
2. I bet that’s not her real hair colour.
3. I haven’t done a Team 1260 NationDraft update in TWOooo WEEeeeKS!!
What in jumping sweet banana bread is going here!? What kind of ship am I running?! Where’s my pants!?! What the hell is "jumping sweet banana bread"??!
These were all questions I asked myself as I stared at the calendar. It was then that I realized I needed to roll up my sleeves and get down and busy churning out another Pulitzer Prize(tm) winning edition of the Team 1260 NationDraft Update.
The masses demand to know where they stand in the draft! Trust me, I know how important this is to all of you. I have received countless threats against my life over the past three days wondering where the hell the draft update is. I’m looking at you bingofuel, if that even is your real name. *shakes fist*
Well, the wait is over my friends. Below you will find the most stunning, awe inspiring and comprehensive Team 1260 NationDraft update ever.* BEHOLD!!!
Team 1260 NationDraft Update, as of Dec 2/09:
What a difference two weeks makes. Last time we checked "Sage11" was sitting pretty all by him/her-self in first place. Now looky what we have here:
The Top Ten:
|1. Carlo Gambino||366||0|
|4. Tony Tanti’s||364||-2|
|5. Tequila Party Gnomes||364||-2|
|6. The Slippery Petes||360||-6|
|9. Meadows Men||360||-6|
|10. Flaming Nots||360||-6|
That’s right! Mr. Thrid Place two weeks ago is Mr. First Place this week! "Carlo Gambino", with the stunning comeback, is tied in first place with "Sage11". Nice work CG, nice work.
Now, for a little bit if self gratitude, here’s how the Oilersnation.com crew is doing (except for Willis and Amber cuz I guess they’re too good to have draft teams or something):
|66. Robin Brownlee||351||-15|
|334. Jason Gregor||332||-34|
|540. Towel Boy Vs. Mothra||320||-46|
|729. The Pacinos||302||-64|
|779. Bonsignore Citizens Brigade||297||-69|
|843. Lord Wanye’s Steeds||285||-81|
140. The Jagr Metric 345 -21
Somehow this team name sounds like a cross between some indie rock band and a Tom Clancy novel.
289. Stimulous Package 335 -31
That’s what SHE said! *crickets*
512. winged assassins 322 -44
Not only are assassins deadly in their own right, but slap a pair of wings on one and you’ve got yourself a heartless killing machine…that can fly. Who wouldn’t want that?
557. Hemsky to Horcoff to Crest 319 -47
Yeah, let’s make fun of the injured Hemsky. Real funny. ..oh, it was about Horcoff? Ohhhh…HAHAHAHA.
Well, I plugged in some numbers and decimal points into I’m A Scientist’s super computer and it told me that not only did I get the high score in "Load Runner" this week, but here’s some players in the draft that are doin’not too bad:
Jarome Iginla – He had a stellar November. STELLAR!
Joe Thornton – Mr. Assist is rolling again. 9 pts in the last five, 8 of them assists.
Sidney Crosby – Coming on strong now. 7G, 4A over the last five games. Look out!
*pretty much the same as last time, and the time before that…and that other time.
** If you have less than 320 points.
This message was written in accordance with the guidelines and rules set forth in the Charter of The Ministry of Drafts and is approved by the Minister of Draft.