GDB 51: Has the world gone crazy?

klingon

Well, loyal Nation readers, things don’t feel so hot here in Oil City, or really anywhere on this spinning ball of rock. Our boys in copper and blue play St Louis tonight. But they do so without Lubomir Visnovsky, who’s been placed on the IR list.

Meanwhile, Dustin Penner won’t complete (or even start) any checks, Sheldon Souray’s upset because he can’t find a decent hair jelly to maintain his quaff, Daryl Katz astonishingly owns the Cracker Cats now, and nerds are dressing up like Klingons and robbing the good citizens of the Federation down in the US.

What’s next? Zebras and Lions hugging? Fans NOT demanding MacT’s head on a platter? Brownlee cracking a smile? Amber McCormick finally agreeing to go on a date with me? My gods, what a terrifying world this place is becoming! Someone hit me in the face with a shovel, please.

So even though things are dire in the Nation right now, I’m going to predict a hard-fought Oilers win tonight. Sure, I know sweet tweet about hockey compared to Wanye Gretz and Robin Brownlee, but I know what my guts tell me: “Eat something, bingofuel. Something greasy. Good. Now type ‘Oilers will win tonight 3-2’.”

Oilers will win tonight 3-2.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Amber wrote:

    You just have to ask properly. Asking me by urinating “will you go out with me” on my front lawn, no matter how impressive, doesn’t make a lady swoon.

    You said it was sexy! And then you threw an empty bottle at JD at my face.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    The Oil are kinda like having a favorite Uncle try and molest you. Not as a kid mind you, but as a full grown man. Growing up he was awesome, handing out Stanley cups, getting you drunk for the first time.

    Then he tries to stick his wiener in your face twice in 42 days and occasionally exposes himself to you.

    Sure, a lot of the time he’s still cool and treats you right, but you really don’t know what to expect any more when he’s coming over that night.

    So who’s it gonna be tonight? Cool Uncle Larry with a 6 pack of Newcastle? Or Uncle Tickle?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Amber wrote:

    Bingofuel wrote:
    Amber McCormick finally agreeing to go on a date with me?
    You just have to ask properly. Asking me by urinating “will you go out with me” on my front lawn, no matter how impressive, doesn’t make a lady swoon.

    That's right real men use defecation.

    (wow did I just write that….the world is off today…)

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Amber wrote:

    You just have to ask properly. Asking me by urinating “will you go out with me” on my front lawn, no matter how impressive, doesn’t make a lady swoon.

    Woah, thanks for the heads up!

    I'll stop drinking my big gulp now.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Bingofuel wrote:

    Amber McCormick finally agreeing to go on a date with me?

    You just have to ask properly. Asking me by urinating "will you go out with me" on my front lawn, no matter how impressive, doesn't make a lady swoon.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I'm so excited to see Penner back on the 1st line. He really must have learned his lesson and gained a new respect for the game with that ONE WHOLE GAME on the 4th line.
    That is some solid coaching.

    Tuesday…you suck fatty, your commitment level is low and you aren't playing with any 'Jam'.

    Thursday…he's really the best fit on the top line. "We all know and agree Dustin is the best fit there when he's playing," said MacTavish.
    "Plus, he can ride shotgun with Hemmer if they're taking liberties with him."

    Penner can ride shotgun with Hemmer if they take liberties? Really? Is that same as 'stand and watch him get drilled into the ice', cause if it is then I agree.

    Don't worry Dusty…by Saturday you could be in the press box watching the guy from the movie 'Powder' take your spot on the first line. He has lots of 'Jam'.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Jussi 'The Bad' Jokinen is an undersized, defensive liability of a forward that coasts through games and rocks the shootout. I think there's enough of those guys around. At least he wins faceoffs slightly more often than 50% of the time.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ FS:
    Yeah, but Jokinen's not been awesome in Tampa Bay. He's been fighting a knee injury, has no goals in 30 games, and he's been placed on waivers twice. Before that he had 6 goals in 16 games… I don't know if he's worth the risk.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    FS wrote:

    Jussi Jokinen was placed on waviers today, would you pick him up? He was pretty good in Dallas.

    Maaayybe…he's money in the shootout. ..I dunno much about him other than that.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Monday Guy told me that he predicts a Gagner hat trick tonight…and I replied by telling him that every time he predicts a Gagner hat trick…we lose – badly. He still insists it's gonna happen.

    So there you have it…blame Monday Guy.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Maybe the Oil should use the fact that TSN isn't even bothering to give them an "Ice Chips" segment on their website as motivation for tonight. You hear that Oilers? Nobody outside of Oiler Nation cares about your lack-luster team. Not go out there and make them notice you! Or not.

    Oilers 4 Blues 2.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Librarian Mike wrote:

    4-0 Blues. Souray gets a game misconduct for taking his skate off and trying to stab Tkachuk with it, and MacT gives Reddox a hug at centre ice after the game.

    LOL

  • I'm a Scientist!

    4-0 Blues. Souray gets a game misconduct for taking his skate off and trying to stab Tkachuk with it, and MacT gives Reddox a hug at centre ice after the game.