Don’t Drop the Soap

peterpuck

What does a girl love more than lip gloss and watching the recruits of the Edmonton Police Department train in the park down the street from her house? Drama, that’s what.

Former Edmonton Oilers owner Peter Pocklington has been arrested on a two-count indictment. Pocklington is charged with making false statements in bankruptcy and making false oaths and accounts. Allegedly, he failed to mention his two bank accounts and storage units. Oops.

How in the name of Gainers Foods does one forget about two bank accounts and storage units when you claim $20 million in debt but assets of only $2,900.? I know when my bank balance is dropping I make plans to hit the streets and make more the old-fashioned way: busking, you sickos.

I’ve never been a fan of Pocklington. In fact, I’ve thought of him to be a self-righteous, self-serving turd burglar. Looks like I was right. This scandal has me stuck to the Internets like OJ to a Bronco. Maybe Peter should have kept Eva Pocklington’s $150,000 diamond ring rather than giving it to Nelson Skalbania back in 1976. Poor Eva. Not to worry, he replaced it later in the ’90s with one equally gaudy. I had the pleasure of seeing this ring up close once upon a time. Eva was once a client at the downtown hair salon where I worked. Spoiler alert: Eva isn’t a natural blonde. Gasp!

If you haven’t had a laugh today, may I suggest a world-wide-web trip to Mr. Pocklington’s website. It’s at www.peterpocklington.com you can receive advice on “The Business of Business”. “Thoughts on Business” and “Laws of Business”. Be sure to have a pen handy you’re going to write some of this stuff down.

Pocklington is scheduled to make his first appearance in United States District Court in Riverside, California Wednesday afternoon. If convicted, Pocklington would face a statutory maximum 10-year sentence.

Finally, victory is ours for trading The Great One.

  • Nickler

    Yeah, in my excitement I reversed the then and than in the first line, but thanks for pointing that out…it kinda screws up the point I was trying to make.

  • Harlie Chuddy

    Nickler wrote:

    Just wondering why people today have replaced the word “then” with the word “than” I see it quiet a bit in comments etc., is it our school system? Example: Older than dirt
    R.

    according to this link our usage is correct. At least mine and Arch's are. Are they not? (i compared lip gloss to sex) If not then please let us know!

    http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/than.html

  • Archaeologuy

    @ Nickler:
    you are aware that "older than dirt" is the correct use of the word "than", arent you?
    "Than" is used in a comparative sense while "then" is used in a temporal sense, ie " First I wrote a post, then I replied to another."

  • Harlie Chuddy

    Archaeologuy wrote:

    For many of us our only hope is that the freezing cold slows some brain cells enough to allow for some poor decision making.
    Or we could go to the gym and work on changing our terrible social skills, but waiting to be the beneficiary of a poor decision is the best bet.

    the benefit of poor decision is usually brought on by the great equalizer: ALCOHOL
    God bless Vodka Coolers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Amber McCormick

    Hoodlum wrote:

    I wonder where Pocklington will rank on his cell mates “McHot meter”?

    I suspect Peter will be holding his share of pockets for the duration of his stay.

  • Nickler

    Just wondering why people today have replaced the word "then" with the word "than" I see it quiet a bit in comments etc., is it our school system? Example: Older than dirt
    R.

  • bobchamp

    Checked out peterpocklington.com and under Peter Pocklington's thoughts on sports it says "Sending Wayne Gretsky to the L.A. Kings was a loss."
    Misspelling Gretzky?!!! No wonder he's going to jail!

  • Archaeologuy

    Harlie Chuddy wrote:

    Archaeologuy wrote:
    Harlie Chuddy wrote:
    am i the only one saddened and not surprised that lip gloss comes higher on a woman’s WANT list than sex?
    for attractive women it’s likely more difficult to find quality lipgloss than willing sexual partners.
    especially in this sausage factory we call Edmonton.

    For many of us our only hope is that the freezing cold slows some brain cells enough to allow for some poor decision making.

    Or we could go to the gym and work on changing our terrible social skills, but waiting to be the beneficiary of a poor decision is the best bet.

  • olderthendirt

    for "attractive' women it’s likely more difficult to find quality lipgloss than willing sexual partners

    we are talking about men here. Defination of attractive is vague when sex is availible and/or alochol is consumed.

  • Harlie Chuddy

    Archaeologuy wrote:

    Harlie Chuddy wrote:
    am i the only one saddened and not surprised that lip gloss comes higher on a woman’s WANT list than sex?

    for attractive women it’s likely more difficult to find quality lipgloss than willing sexual partners.

    especially in this sausage factory we call Edmonton.

  • Archaeologuy

    Harlie Chuddy wrote:

    am i the only one saddened and not surprised that lip gloss comes higher on a woman’s WANT list than sex?

    for attractive women it's likely more difficult to find quality lipgloss than willing sexual partners.

  • Jack "FMNF" Bauer

    "recruits of the Edmonton Police Department train in the park down the street from her house"

    There is a Tim Horton's in the park by your house? LUCKY!!

  • Amber wrote:

    Spoiler alert: Eva isn’t a natural blonde. Gasp!

    ~So what you are saying is the carpet doesn't match the drapes?~

    I still remember th day of August 9th 1988. Being a 10 year old & bawling because my favourite hockey player wouldn't be playing here anymore. I peeled the Oilers logo off of my Wayne Gretsky doll…

    Then in May 1990 I was like – who is Wayne Gretzky?

    I have no idea how a person who was so successful in business 20 some years ago is all of the sudden bankrupt. He owned a shit-pile of assets.