GDB 74: They just don’t get it in the Grand Canyon State

grandcanyon

We all know what’s at stake tonight. We clearly need to win this game, and, oh yeah, every subsequent game between now and game seven of the Stanley Cup Final (am I deluded enough to think we’ll make it there? No. But I AM drunk enough). If we can’t beat Gretzky’s mongrels, then we’re royal screwed. I could take losing to the Wings. We weren’t supposed to beat them anyway. And though the Oilers seem to be in the habit (sometimes) of winning games they have no business winning, then uh, surely tonight… Frick, we CAN’T lose.

But the Coyotes are in a pretty rough spot, as one Robin Brownlee pointed out today. Man, if I could buy four tickets, and a pile of nachos with that metamucil-consistency cheese on it for $70, I’d buy EIGHT tickets and TWO orders of those sick, sick nachos. The problem with those dried out mummy husks down in Phoenix is that they don’t get it. They never did. Here’s what they’re all about down in Phoenix:

  • Plastic surgery
  • Golf
  • Shuffleboard
  • Bus tours of the Grand Canyon
  • Air conditioning
  • Getting old
  • Eventually dying

You know what’s not in that list? HOCKEY.

So while the Oilers lay down a five-alarm beating on the hapless Coyotes tonight and Wayne Gretzky ages before our very eyes, I want you to consider that in a way we’re lucky. Not because we have to drop $200 a seat to go to a game and an additional down-payment-on-a-house-sized wad of dough just to drink ourselves into a stupor at RX1. But because we’re in this thing, still, against all odds. It gives me and Wanye a reason to wake up in the morning. This isn’t just about hockey… OK it is.

What’s my point? I’ve forgotten. But to steal the hilarious thunder of some of our commenters, I think my point is this: “GAME DAY!!*”

*send Smokin’ Ray Burnt a quarter in the mail.
  • I'm a Scientist!

    Heard on Ched tonight….

    Re: Hemsky

    Big Bob – "…in that case Hemsky really has to suck it up, princess."

    Rod the Legend – "Yep, he's a pouter."

  • I'm a Scientist!

    How many times have we seen the oilers play this way? Come out flat for two periods put in a soild effort for 10 minutes and then piss everybody off when you realize that you have to play for 60 minutes what did they think when they started tonights game that Wayne was going to tell his boys to let Edmonton win? Why did we not just shit the bed this whole year at least we would have had the number 1 pick.Based on Mac ts performance and K lowes record Mac t will sign a 15 year contract extension at seasons end and katz will be all smilies cause he will have his buddies around for another 15 years what a great bunch of guys!!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Tencer say's that "the teams above the line get into the playoffs, and teams below don't". Wow I'm obviously not giving him enough credit.
    Bring back some grit, as in Torres, Greene, Cole, Smitty, Peca, Stoll, Glencross…………..

  • I'm a Scientist!

    As per Oiler Nation propaganda – what is good for the goose is good for the gander…… THE OIL NOW SIT COMFORTABLY IN 9TH PLACE…..

    Whoever thought you could sit comfortably in 7th place is definitely on the oiler media mind control….

    Im lovin this

    now all the cash will go to season ticket renewals instead of playoff revenue – and the cancellations will start – maybe the moron DOHO will have to face the music now – MACT will resign and still recieve 2/3 of his salary – call it karma, next time you call someone a moron stand in front of the mirror…..

    horcoff $7mm
    penner – $4.25 plus 3 draft picks

    what happens the year after when the perfect storm comes and the kids want more cash as RFA's – Lowe are
    you going to pout and alienate them, make them sit until December and trade them if they pay you to leave Edmonton (comrie) – talk about MORONIC – remember these harsh words are just being repeated from the DOHO's mouth…..

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Falcon wrote:

    Only one thing on my mind… breasts. Oh, and fire MacT.

    Sorry that lady was banned from Rexall for 6 months maybe she can come back in April….. oooops no hockey then – maybe a concert instead…..

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I don't know how I keep getting sucked in again and again. Same effort, same lack of goals, same crap coaching. Ya know what really sweet, I love having a team with a sh1tty Goalie, brutal Dmen, but it's so nice to have soooooo much Offensive forwards we just continually out score teams even with our craptacular goalie and d….Oh wait…..

  • I'm a Scientist!

    This team does not deserve to be in the playoffs. Management, coaches AND the players are all to blame. You can't be as inconsitent as they are all year and expect results. The bright side of missing the post season is that hopefully this will inspire the powers that be to make the changes necessary to start building a contender.

    For now, it's time to play the "Golf Season Waiting Game".

    * Looks out his office window, sees snow falling and realized golf is still weeks away. Asks himself "Why do I live here again?" while a single tear rolls down his cheek.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wow, that was a spectacular display of suckage! I have never seen such a fantastic representation of the term. And not only when they fluked their way to within one goal, they come up with an even greater, more fantastical, epically monumental, mind-blowing craptastic effort in the final 90 seconds! I should just watch the Tampa Bay Lightning, they may not be making the playoffs, but they try and they make pretty goals.

    These guys suck!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    MacT has them playing and thinking defense that they forgot how to play offense. How many times have you seen the Oilers make a rush 3 on 2 in high gear but they make a bone headed or blind pass to an intercepting opponent. Wham! The play ends with a thud and me quiping "omg, my sister can do better!"-total frustration. It is like they focus so much on defense that some one forgot to show them how to execute on offense. THEY HAVE NO FINISH AFTER A GREAT RUSH OR CYCLE.

    Speaking of cycling. Have you noticed that when Oils are cycling around the opposition's end, the players are 1/2 the time out of sync and not where they are supposed to be-they are either too far apart to cycle effectively or just not there in position. Good god! I guess that's what happens when you rotate everyone incl their mothers into different lines. Bad effect is they have to start all over establishing new reads on their new linemates. Sometimes you just got to go with what you have and forget this different dance partners – a gazzilion line combos within the first 20 minutes. MacT gets more line combos and permutations than McDonalds ever will. Sigh…

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ deepoil:

    Are you basically high on PCP most of the day or do you occasionally suffer a series of small strokes while awake?

    In all honesty riddle me this DeepOil. It has been a question on my mind for a few weeks now when I see your posts:

    Do you consider yourself an Oilers fan? If yes, explain. It seems to me you delight in ripping this team day in and day out yet you continually post commentary. I can't figure it out.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

    What did we get, about 50 seconds of effort from the boys in copper and blue last night. Besides Roli of course — Katz must have some sort of senior upper medicine that has not yet been Health Canada approved. Forget Hemsky whining, I'd listening intently to whatever our true star has to complain about.

    Even Tencer had problems putting on a happy face last night. That was scary. Like Wanye flashing on 105th street (again) scary.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Is it me or are the oilers offensive "vets" moreau, pisani and some what Horc aweful!
    The third line should have showered up after the second as they where horrible, only reason oils had a chance was thanks to rolli.
    they better not sh"t the bed today like they did last night or they can start planning april holidays

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    @ deepoil:
    Are you basically high on PCP most of the day or do you occasionally suffer a series of small strokes while awake?
    In all honesty riddle me this DeepOil. It has been a question on my mind for a few weeks now when I see your posts:
    Do you consider yourself an Oilers fan? If yes, explain. It seems to me you delight in ripping this team day in and day out yet you continually post commentary. I can’t figure it out.

    I second that!

    *mumbles "SlimeRx" and flips a bird at the computer moniter*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    When the Oilers marched into Chicago and took two points: I felt like that was the moment they came out and declaired, "We are a playoff team…"

    Last night they took it back.

    Every single other team in the north west has posted at least one 100pt season in the last five or six years. Every single other team in the north west has opened a playoff series at home… In the last 5 years the Oilers have made the playoffs ONCE… as the eigth seed (Thanks to Vancouver tanking)… The Oilers haven't hosted a home playoff opener since the early 90's and haven't posted a 100 or more points in the regular season since 1986. I'm sick of all the excuses. I'm sick of hearing things like, "The first 5 years under Lowe don't count because the Oilers lacked the financial rescourcesd to compete…"; or "Injuries…blah…blah"; or "Pronger left us….blah…blah." Fact is, the Oilers have fallen into a culture of losing. This culture of losing is about 17 years old; starting with those horrible back to back 26 and 27 win seasons… Every other team in the NHL that has a culture of losing has their own reasons and excuses… But that doesn't change the bottom line. The Oilers simply aren't good enough; they haven't been good enough for the better part of twenty years; and there isn't a lot of help on the way… Based on the lack of hustle I saw last night; especially after Roli was pulled; It sure looks like there is a high comfort level with losing… Where is the fight?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Chris wrote:

    When the Oilers marched into Chicago and took two points: I felt like that was the moment they came out and declaired, “We are a playoff team…”
    Last night they took it back.
    Every single other team in the north west has posted at least one 100pt season in the last five or six years. Every single other team in the north west has opened a playoff series at home… In the last 5 years the Oilers have made the playoffs ONCE… as the eigth seed (Thanks to Vancouver tanking)… The Oilers haven’t hosted a home playoff opener since the early 90’s and haven’t posted a 100 or more points in the regular season since 1986. I’m sick of all the excuses. I’m sick of hearing things like, “The first 5 years under Lowe don’t count because the Oilers lacked the financial rescourcesd to compete…”; or “Injuries…blah…blah”; or “Pronger left us….blah…blah.” Fact is, the Oilers have fallen into a culture of losing. This culture of losing is about 17 years old; starting with those horrible back to back 26 and 27 win seasons… Every other team in the NHL that has a culture of losing has their own reasons and excuses… But that doesn’t change the bottom line. The Oilers simply aren’t good enough; they haven’t been good enough for the better part of twenty years; and there isn’t a lot of help on the way… Based on the lack of hustle I saw last night; especially after Roli was pulled; It sure looks like there is a high comfort level with losing… Where is the fight?

    Well maybe we can lose some more and hope the new owner has some balls to do something. But I agree with everyword, I'm sick of the horse crap and constant excuse making and lying to the fans. I'm sick of losing, I'm sick of settling for mediocre and I'm sick of not having any good to great players. This summer will tell if i'm hanging up my Oiler fandom for good or not, I can't continue to support this culture of losing anymore, I just can't take it anymore.