Thanks for nothing


It took us 76 games, a hundred odd posts and a hojillion comments defending this team but it has finally happened. We have officially had enough of this shitanusly mediocre 2008-2009 Edmonton Oilers hockey squadron. Don’t get us wrong. We sit firmly planted on the Oilers bandwagon. It’s just that none of the players seem interested in driving us anywhere.

When the fans are more jacked up for the game than the players are – something is wrong.

We for one pity the poor old OilersNation, sitting there in the stands at RX1 and at home wanting something – anything – to cheer for. At a time when lots of folks are worried about losing their job, making rent and generally just getting by RX1 continues to sell out night after night. Once upon a time, there are a good many folk who were ballin’ out of control with Oil comfortably over $100 per barrel. Now, not so much. Yet these same folk continue to shoulder the bulk of the ticket buying load, making a conscious decision to continue to spend hundreds of their hard earned dollars on “Oilers hockey” game after terrible game. There they were again last night, filling the arena to high in the rafters and even patiently standing on those little standing room only squares. Honest, hard working blue collar folk who continue to arrive in droves despite the absolute and total lack of commitment and desire to win on the ice that awaits them. And did they boo this awful bunch of cheque collecting, merlot drinking sissies? No. They sat glued to their seats hoping one of the players in Copper and Blue might find something resembling a beating heart late in the third period and step up to the plate.

In times like these it’s staggering to realize that most people inside Rexall probably worked harder to get into the game than the bulk of the Oilers did during the game.

When your 46 year old goalie is starting his 98th game in a row – something is wrong.

When we saw Roloson face the media, tired as all hell, older than all hell, sweaty as all hell and having done all he could and yet taking the blame for the loss something inside us snapped. Are you kidding us Oilers? How in the sweet holy fuck can any of you sit around in the dressing room and see the old man in the corner who is absolutely busting his nuts and not feel guilty about the level to which you mail it in night after night? We can’t help but feel terrible for Roloson at this stage of the game. So you let in a couple of floaters early on Roli. Who gives a shit? See the other guys sitting there on the bench wearing the same jersey as you? Those idiots are supposed to do more than come down and give you a supportive whack on the pads after they have collapsed yet again. They are supposed to go down into the opposition’s end and score a few of their own and bail you out.

Nothing here is your fault Sir. We salute your efforts. You are an absolute warrior and if we have ever chirped you on this site we humbly apologize. The rest of you Oilers? Whatever.

When you need a leader to step up and pop in a late goal and nothing arrives – something is wrong.

Where in the fuck was anything resembling a leader with the season hanging in the balance? Where was a single one of these overpriced boneheads when it counted? Nowhere, that’s where and it breaks our fucking heart to see this team mail it in night after night. What the hell is Kay-Z paying for here exactly? The cheques that you deposit with charming regularity are real gentlemen. The effort most of you are putting out on the other hand – is not.

Shame on the whole fucking team except Roli. Do any of you have any interest in stepping up and saving this season? Any of you at all? Hemsky – you seem to be a talent. Where are you with the game on the line last night? Horcoff? What about you? You have taken mad heat for signing a huge contract. Why not quiet your haters by popping in a goal here or there? We could go on down the list, but what is the use?

The I told you sos

Yeah Brownlee we get it. You predicted that the Oilers wouldn’t make the playoffs. This entire team is riddled with problems and you saw that and were able to inspire the legions of Oilers haters all year. You haters were all so wise and gave up on the team in the preseason whereas it took us till game 76 of a terrible season before we had our fill. Well you know what? We would rather have hope for 7 months of the year that things could turn out than write them off before the season rolls.

But that’s just how we roll.

And all the people that are going to come on here today and tell us how smart they were to know that the team sucked the entire year and this result was a foregone conclusion? Fuck you too. It’s hilarious that you would surface now to rub salt in the wounds of the thousands on here that have lived and died with this team the entire season. If we could meet some of you in person this morning we would sucker punch you directly in the face and then stand over you waiting to see if you have any interest in making other smart ass remarks. So shut it. Brownlee is a professional journalist who isn’t supposed to be a fan of the team. We understand why he makes predictions and then stands by them. The rest of you so called fans that come on here to hate – what possible motivation do you have to get up in the morning? To shit on everyone else’s parade?

The Oilers should never have traded Ryan Smyth. He would have scored last night with the season on the line.

There we said it.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I still think we have a good team… they just need to be motivated. How do you motivate a slug to move faster? Either threaten it, or lure it with bait. Since the threats have not really paid dividends (Penner works for a couple games after being benched) how about a little motivation? An impromptu trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame? A viewing of some sort of emotional Youtube video showing teams winning the cup and showing the grit and determination needed to get there? Maybe bring the stanley cup in to the dressing room but don't let anyone touch it? Hookers…lots of dirty hookers?

    Oh who am i kidding….promote the f**king coach so somebody else can do his job.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Smart money sez if the Oil win their next game, we are starting a cup run. This is so old it's getting old.

    They win and legions of fans pour out of the woodwork exclaiming the team's greatness.

    They lose and Wanye gets to swear.

    Forget MacT what about the dumb motherfucker captain who gets inopportune penalties?

    What about the captain, you know, the one responsible for his team, who can't light a fire under his teammates.

    How about we get a new captain in the offseason that players will listen to? Maybe Souray?

    I pray that the owner is quietly working on PLAN B.

    Yeah, just like the pill, PLAN B. Abort this ugly miscarriage of team and management before it grows any larger.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I feel you brother. I've got two games this week and you can be damn sure I'll cheer and drink my face off. I salute you for calling out the "fans." Well done, sir. Well done.

    *gives Wanye a manly but firm hug*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Chris wrote:

    You are the best writer ever.
    *wiping tears into an open can of warmish Bud Light*
    All I have left is the hope that the Flames fall flat on their face in the first round… Again.

    I'd rather have the Flames make it and have Betmans American dream shattered. Betman is the "Lowe" of the NHL

  • I'm a Scientist!


    You are the best writer ever.
    *wiping tears into an open can of warmish Bud Light*

    All I have left is the hope that the Flames fall flat on their face in the first round… Again.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Great article too bad none of the players can read. maybe that might motivate them. We are Oiler fans but where is the management in this? we kept hearing after 20, 40, 60 games but we got nothing. Our hopes will be shattered tomorow. Sad day for this once proud team.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    While I agree with most of your post, Wanye, that last line is the crap we've been hearing for 2 years. Should've kept Smyth

    Like thats our one big problem…. Fact is, he was well past his prime when we traded him, it was the right move. If we are just gonna bitch about past trades, lets bitch about Gretzky. Either way, it's a stupid argument.

    The pic at the top of the article says it all, Smyth, Hossa, Glencross, Jagr, it doesn't matter who's on the bench when we have MacT behind it.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Jono, you took the words right out of my head for sure. My face was actually sore today from the bitter look I held all night last night. I'm actually dreading my birthday this year as it is the last game of the season and I'm sure to get driven into the ground by every flames, canucks and hawks fan I know. I hope to be so drunk by the end of that game that I cant even see or hear the riducule I will no doubt face.

    Prove me wrong oilers!!! Win 5 out of the next 6 and show me that you guys actually have heart under that jersey!!

    *sinks in chair, feels sorry for the nation……*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I agree with your points Wayne, and I too feel the frustration, but we've come too far to give up now. We have to go down with the ship. There's still hope…

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I was believing right up to the buzzer last night. Now, not so much. I always thought they'd find 'IT' sometime this season but I think it is too late. I still hope in my heart for all lack of commmon sense and reason that they win and still make it but in my mind, the writing is on the wall. I said it in another post, a .500 hockey team is just not good enough.

    The Oilers are at best a .500 team ( I know they are actually under .500 if you look at their W, L and OTL). I just don't see 'IT' when I watch them.

    I will still hope against all hope for them to win but it is a mighty struggle.

    Thanks Oilers.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Come on you guys, here's where the going gets tough.
    are we going to bend over just a little adversity
    i think we should….

    *realizes how silly it sounds, even to myself
    **chokes on own words as tears fill my eyes

  • I'm a Scientist!


    my sympathies dude. You put your heart out there to get stomped on and it got crushed. It feels like the 90's all over again, without the hope or joy.

    I'm with you on the haters too – while they are laying on the ground from your sucker punch, I can stand there yelling "you want some more, huh? huh?" (but I reserve the right to run like a coward, 'cause I suck in a fight – maybe I can still play for this year's Oil?).

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Thank you for speaking my mind this morning. Last night something deep inside me snapped. It is just so hard to care and believe when no one on the damn team seems to.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wow…On point.

    Can we start mulling over the next Oilers head coach now?…the team reflects their coach.
    Never too exicited, never too dejected, mono tone and emotionless…fantastic strategy.

    Pat Quinn, imagine the presser if he were coach..