Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes. This is day 2 of a 3 day bender so you will have to excuse us if we are a little less coherent than usual. Not that it will stop us from writing an article today though. We got a hilarious email from a buddy who was at the airport this morning, saw an Oiler in line and watched the hordes of travellers basically melt. It got us thinking of stories we have heard from people who have seen the city turn to mayhem when the Oilers get spotted doing something as glamorous as getting gas.
Here are two tales.
Sheldon Souray at the Airport – by AH
“I am at the airport this morning flying to New York – so I am standing in line for international customs. There is this gigantic lineup to go through and all of a sudden I can hear people gasping in shock behind me. Not a few people Wanye, like half a dozen or so going “GASP!” I look back and there is Sheldon Souray patiently standing at the back of the line minding his own business and trying to pretend as though a fifth of the line isn’t talking about him. As more and more people started to turn around and stare, the whispering started getting louder and louder and it was only a matter of time before he started fending off marriage proposals.
Security took one look at the situation and came and plucked #44 out of line and whisked him to the front like he was an international diplomat. Souray looked very sheepish about the entire thing and had looked ready to stand in line with the rest of us. As he walked by everyone in line you just saw every woman’s mouth fall open and every man’s dormant homosexuality activate.
Thought I would share this with you Wanye. It was hilarious”
Shawn Horcoff at Home Depot – by MSG
If we were going to tell hilarious “Oilers treated like royalty” stories, we had to phone our boy MSG and interview him about the time he saw Shawn Horcoff at Home Depot.
*Wanye dials MSG at 8:08 AM*
Wanye: MSG, tell me about the time you saw Horcoff getting the royal treatment at Home Deeps.
Wanye: You know dang why MSG. This is going on the Nation.
MSG: It is? Man, I don’t know why people would want to read about that story.
Wanye: You just leave that to your ol’ pal Wanye.
MSG: It’s getting weird – you calling yourself Wanye all the time now. And your articles – this isn’t even about anything.
Wanye: Are you going to tell me the story or what?
MSG: Consider it your birthday present.
“This one time I was standing in line at customer service at Home Depot. It was in the middle of the summer last year and the Deeps was packed. All of a sudden this kid working at the Depot – he couldn’t have been more than about 17 – literally runs up to the front of the line and breathlessly tells the girl working behind the counter “I need someone to help a customer in plumbing NOW!” The 18 year old girl working at the front just kind of looks at the kid and at the long line as if to say “well, it seems I have a bit of a line in front of me don’t you think?”
“Tell plumbing it’s for SHAWN HORCOFF!” the kid pleaded as though the Oilers making the playoffs relied on Horcoff getting a 87 cent plumbing screw in the middle of July.” No sooner had the words “SHAWN HORCOFF” left the kids mouth than the entire line turned around mouths hanging open. Sure enough, there was Horcoff standing at the back of the line carrying a big basket of assorted pipe and plumbing crap, looking extraordinarily uneasy with all the attention. You could tell he was fixing a toilet or something himself and had just walked up to an employee in the Deeps and asked someone to find something for him. Then Home Depot basically shut down for him to get whatever he needed. It was hilarious how excited everyone got.”
Yep, if there is one thing we love it is the concept of an all you can eat donair buffet called “Dustin’s.” If there is another thing we love it is stories of people falling all over themselves when they run into Oilers in the community. If this cartoon hadn’t taken about an hour to put togther we would tell the tale of the time Todd Marchant was ready to kill us at Japanese Village because we kept getting busted staring at him.
Hey, we were 19 and he was Todd Marchant. You’d stare too.
Any hilarious tales?