Coldplay and the 2009 Entry Draft

Coldplay

So last night your ol pal Wanye crushed a couple hundred Bud Lights and went to the Coldplay concert at RX1. Had we known that we were in the midst of one of the biggest events in the history of the OilersNation we would have been thinking deeper thoughts than “Is it wrong to attend Coldplay with another dude cause his girlfriend cancelled at the last minute? Because he is paying for us to attend is this considered a date?”

Answer: No.

1. Coldplay is awesome. They played something like 25 songs and blew the doors off the place.
2. Attendance: 16,000. Number of super-done-up-emotionally-revved-up ladies attending said Coldplay concert: 15,998. If we could have given every lady in the building our phone number we would have. It was just that good and all the ladies were “SO INTO CHRIS MARTIN OMG OMG OMG”

The call that started it all

first_phone_call

On the way to the concert we got a phone call from none other than our old pal bingofuel. The conversation -remembering we were greased – went something along these lines:

WG: Hello?
Bingofuel: Wanye, it’s me.

WG: Mom?
Bingofuel: No you idiot. It’s bingofuel.

WG: Wha? Who calls themselves bingofuel? Thash not even a real name and yo-
Bingofuel: Listen you idiot. For the purposes of paraphrasing a conversation to stress a point on OilersNation this is how the conversation went.

WG: Proceed caller. You have our full attention.
Bingofuel: You know how Brownlee wrote that article about the death of newspapers and no draft attending and junk?

WG: Yeah, and how all the comments were suggesting we make donations to send him?
Bingofuel: Yeah. I totally think we should do it. It’s total BS that the newspapers can’t send anyone to the draft. Think of the coverage will be missed! When the Oilers overrule central scouting and draft a smallish perimeter forward inappropriately high in the first round – someone needs to be there!

WG: You make a very strong case bingofuel. Now remember that I am drunk as a skunk – can you figure out how to take paypal donations etc?
Bingofuel: As is always the case Wanye you are drunk and I’ll take care of everything.

At this point in the evening we got super greased listening to the dulcet tones of Coldplay.

*musical interlude*

coldplay2

At about 9:30 PM our mobile communication device began to blow up multiple phone calls from Robin Brownlee. There was no chance we were missing a second of our show to have him yell at us so we just kept on crushing beers and enjoying our night.

Then this came in:

——Original Message——
From: Robin Brownlee
To: wanyegretz@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Draft
Sent: Jun 18, 2009 10:20 PM

MEN!!!!!!!!!

A big GIANT WHOA!!!!

I didn’t write this to go to the draft. No chance I can do it. The last part
was a JOKE!

My wife is away and my son has pneumonia (not kidding). For crying
out loud don’t take any money from people for this!! As much as it would be
riot to ride this unexpected support right to Montreal, it isn’t happening.

If you want to do this, then we can plan for next year. Fuck! You people are
insane.

Firstly we love making Robin Brownlee’s blood pressure rise. The fact that he wrote an article lamenting the fact that newspapers are in decline and can’t send people to the draft is sad. The fact the OilersNation interpreted this to mean we should all pitch in and collect donations to send him to the draft without his consent is hilarious. The fact Brownlee called us a hojillion times to have this removed from the site but we were drunk at a concert speaks to how we like to get down here at the OilersNation.

This is about two things

Robin Brownlee – who is re-rocketing up the charts of media popularity in this city. If there is one guy we would want to see at the draft it is him. It is sad that he can’t go and we sincerely hope his son is feeling better soon.

Media coverage – someone needs to attend this thing on behalf of Oilers fans! When the Oilers draft an unheralded Bolivian goalie in the 9th round we want to know his fondest memories  of minor hockey. We need this level of coverage.

So even though Robin is unable to attend we still think someone should go to the draft. We don’t want anyone who has already donated to feel cheated. If anyone has donated to send Robin Brownlee that doesn’t want that money used to send anyone else instead – email us at wanyegretz@gmail.com and we will refund your money in a heartbeat.

A new proposal

Seeing as Brownlee cannot attend we say we send Gregor instead. We just got off the phone with him and he too was basically flabbergasted that this was going down. “But I have a big draft show I am doing” he started to say but we immediately countered with “Would you rather have a draft show or BE at the draft?”

That shut him up but good. If we can put together the funds for Gregor to attend the draft in Brownlee’s place, he has assured us a level of coverage not seen in these parts in a long time. Interviews, in depth pieces, photographs of sexy ladies he passes in the street. Yes, this will be a low budget draft extravaganza at its finest. And if we have more money than the $2,000 its going to take to send our man there we will donate it to the Stollery Children’s hospital on behalf of Robin and his son Sam.

And we are going to keep the ball rolling by pledging a donation of $500 of our own hard earned bottle money for Gregor to go in Brownlee’s place to the draft.

We didn’t think we would ever write those words on here.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Gregor will do a good job, but if he is still working for the Team while he is there, them cheapos should foot the bill or at least be matching your donation.

    Real coverage at last. Well Done Robin

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Well, I gotta say I never had you pegged as a Coldplay fan, Wanye. My mental image is more in the Iggy Pop mould.

    Maybe for next year every time the Oilers score they can play 'Fix You' on the PA.

    Travis Dakin wrote:

    This site is a gift to the world.

    Indeed, that is an Internets-winning statement!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Considering I'm paying off student loans, just bought a house and I'm getting married next month I shouldn't donate some money.

    But my love for the Oilers is second to none, I will donate $50 and eat KD for the next couple weeks!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    coldplay and man dates…. GROSS!

    Estrogen loaded females….. priceless!!!

    thankfully there is no pill thingy on this blog…. i can donate on the other one where someone said

    "iron maiden is the best band ever"

    somehere shaugger feels slightly less outcast and vulnerable

  • I'm a Scientist!

    “Is it wrong to attend Coldplay with another dude cause his girlfriend cancelled at the last minute? Because he is paying for us to attend is this considered a date?”

    Answer: It's Coldplay dude. His girlfriend didn't cancel. He wanted you to go instead. HA… Coldplay…. goodness.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ 442Junkie:

    As much as I would love to steal everyone's money, go to Montreal, pretend to go to the draft and then skulk about the seediest sex clubs in Montreal I think it is better for the Nation if a professional goes.

    Oh and we are now the 12,459th busiest site in Canada according to Alexa.com. Take THAT thebearrocks.com (#18,163)

  • I'm a Scientist!

    What I love is that not long ago Robin was making fun of the weakness of the interwebs commitments made by the 10,000 Fire MacT FaceBook members, then out of seemingly nowhere people start randomly throwing real money at him via interweb commitments to get him to Montreal.

    Facebook has nothing on the Nation.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I think Gregor would do a fine job. Plus he has real media credentials. Unlike say, Wanye, who would just flash a broken whiskey bottle at security screaming "I run the 32,000th most popular website in Canada! You bastards have to let me in!!!!!!" Then breaking down in tears shortly there after. Or passing out not sure exactly which…

    You need a meter of some kind to show how much has been donated. That way people can fell the push to donate more. Just my opinion.