Rising from the ashes

You would think that in the wake of the Dany Heatley debacle, Oilers fans and Edmontonians would be standing in line to lie down on the proverbial train tracks and wait for the 12:15 Express to roll by and end all the suffering.

Instead we are seeing a shocking amount of people deciding that this isn’t an Edmonton problem – it’s a Heatley problem. And while people all over the internet are delighting in rubbing salt in our collective wounds, Oilers fans are flocking to this little website in increasingly overwhelming numbers to voice their support for their team and defending the City they love – regardless of the opinions of a handful of pro athletes.

Calling the bottom


You can probably mark July 2, 2009 down in your calendars as the bottom of stock in the Edmonton Oilers. Yeah the old stock price has taken a beating of late – of that there is no doubt. But whereas in the past many fans were seemingly content to remain silent, sit back and take shit from dink hockey players who spurned their hometown in the past – it’s different this time.

When we wrote a little article yesterday on this non-pornographic internet portal we were shooting from the hip – telling everyone down on the team and the city to grow a pair of proverbial balls and telling Dany Heatley to get stuffed in the process. It could have been a risky move – there could have been plenty of sass-bashing fans coming on here and explain to us how Heatley was in fact correct in his refusal to waive his NTC. Who would want to live somewhere so (gasp) cold right?

Little did we know that it instead unleashed a torrent of people who were seemingly waiting for a chance to show substantial pride in both the City of Edmonton and the Oilers.

The onslaught

Generally WanyeMail is a river of twitter alerts, herbal aphrodisiac sales pitches and other junkery. But in the past 24 hours we have been getting actual emails from actual people. Like over 40 emails.

Here are some excerpts:

“Hey Wayne – thanks for writing that article today. I was so happy to read that someone wasn’t ready to roll over and die at the feet of a bastard like Dany Heatley. The Oilers will be fine, just you wait!”

“Hello OilersNation – as an Edmonton native now living in London, England I just wanted to thank you for writing that article encouraging Edmontonians to show pride in their city. I have lived overseas for over 20 years but I think of my hometown every day. Edmonton might be cold but it is really a fantastic city. People who don’t realize that should pull their heads out of the sand.”

“WANYE – F****** rights!!!! Screw Heatley and anyone who doesn’t want to come to Edmonton. Things are bound to turn around. In Kay-Z we trust.”

“Wanye – That was a great article you wrote today. I moved from Edmonton to Boston for school and stayed because of a job. I have been homesick for a good Skyreach Centre (now RX1) beer ever since. Your website has allowed me to feel as though I am back on Whyte Ave having a beer with my friends. I miss Edmonton terribly! GO OILERS!”

“Just wanted to shoot you a quick email and tell you that I really enjoyed your article encouraging Oilers fans to get some swagger back in their stride. I am an Oilers fan living in Phoenix. I was a Gretzky fan in the 1980s and have stuck with the team ever since even though #99 is our Coach! I am always amazed every time I meet an Edmontonian at a hockey game. You guys are always so passionate and energetic yet polite and respectful. I know our Oilers will come back from this and will win the Cup again soon!”

A full disclaimer


Yeah you know what? Yes, it’s cold here. And yes, we consider Southgate Mall’s recent “Aug 5” advertising campaign to be a landmark event in the past 3 years. And yes, our 100 foreign visitors in 2008 were shocked by how many people drive pickup trucks in Edmonton.

Big deal.

This is home and there are millions around the world and right here in Edmonton who wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. And eventually the Oil will land a superstar or two who will compliment the 20 or so Edmonton Oilers who are already proud to call Edmonton home. The team will win again – and in the meantime we will continue to freeze our bits off getting to RX1 to cheer them on. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

And when it does turn around – and it will make no mistake – all of the nay sayers that are having a field day running down Edmonton and the Oilers all over the internet, TV and newspapers will receive an Oil stained sucker punch directly to the face courtesy of the proud members of the Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club.

And from us there will be no mercy. Those who have jumped off the bandwagon will immediately be shot if trying to reboard the wagon by the likes of scorecoff hemmercules, socaldave, cambosmash, humantorch, KayleW, OvenChicken8, West Coast Oil and the thousands of other Oilers fans who are waiting for their day of redemption to arrive.

Calling the bottom Pt 2


The funny thing about picking a time to invest in a company is that if the fundamentals are strong – the bottom is exactly the right time to get involved. Everything goes through peaks and valleys. We are doubtlessly in a valley in right now. But with our Owner, the new management and coaching staff bound and determined to rebuild this team – things are strong. With a fan base so hilarious that over 200,000 people visited a website of this dubious quality in the past 30 days – sending a reporter to the draft in the process – things are strong. With a roster of players who are doubtlessly sitting back in their solid gold summer homes and watching the image beat down their team is currently receiving at the hands of Heatley, pumping iron and getting ready to defend RX1 in the fall, shoving revenge directly up the ass of the rest of the NHL in the process – things are strong.

Funny thing about calling the bottom of a market. Though things seem like they have hit rock bottom and it is only going to get worse, things actually only go in one direction:


Oh and that jam at the top of the post? Just some kickass mashup by another local gem Nik Kozub, who is probably cold as all hell in the winters too.

I put on for my City. Wanye Gretz, Edmonton, AB.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    jenga wrote:

    Noone Likes Us – And We Don’t Care

    We should start chanting this at the games with some European football passion. Except better because it is Oilers Hockey Passion

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Well said Mr. Gretz. The problem with selling Edmonton to hockey players is that they're only here for the cold Months. I love winter, but if you weren't raised in a Northern environment, I could see why some aren't crazy about it.

    I see three options to get around this:

    1. Continue burning fossil fuels and eating from styrofoam boxes until our Winters are bearable for Whimpy Southerners*. I have been doing this for over 30 years straight.
    2. Convince the NHL to switch their schedule so it starts in March and ends in Oct**.
    3. Trade and draft players who have thick enough skin to handle some cold weather and who's wives don't complain about not being able to shop on Rodeo drive 12 Months of the year.

    * Whimpy Southerners are anyone born south of Leduc

    ** The NHL is a progressive league, not afraid of change right? Right? Hello??? Is this thing on???

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Edmonton – putting the Y in City …

    I love this city. I'm mad about our lack of decent public transit. I'm excited that downtown is slowly but surely becoming UNslummy. A new arena? Fuck yes. We have history. We love hockey.

    A few years from now when some brilliant, pimpled kid figures out teleportation using the nuclear reactor in the basement of the UofA, nobody will be able to talk shit about our proximity to anything either.

    Oh, btw. Canada is apparently doing the best of the G20 countries during this recession. Alberta is hands down the richest province. And Oh, snap, we're the capital city. Lets maybe hold our heads a bit higher.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I was really hoping for a MSPaint graph, but the Oilexco graph will work too – oh waita minute.

    As I have said if these primadonna's don't want to come here we will have to make our own superstars by drafting better & either trading or poaching better RFA's. The hell with #danyheatley.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I'm an Ohio native who only gets to visit Edmonton, and even I take it personally when someone tries to soil the reputation of one of my favourite cities.

    As an Oiler fan, I think it's impossible not to be an Edmonton fan at the same time. That's one of the things I love about this team, it goes hand-in-hand with the city (and the region) to which it is apart.

    Just call me a proud prospective Edmontonian.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I love and miss Edmonton every day. Stuck out on Vancouver Island I see how strong our fan base is daily. All the bandwagoneers out here. I have been slavering over every morsel of summer trade and draft action on the Oiler sites. Everyone here seems content to forget about their beloved Canucks until the next time they look poised for a playoff run.

    Go Oil. Gratz Heatley on earning the Oil Country ire without ever wearing the jersey…not too many can claim that dubious distinction.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    jenga wrote:

    We need to be like supporters of Millwall FC in the UK whose unofficial slogan is “Noone Likes Us – And We Don’t Care”.

    Are you serious? That's their slogan??


    Wait, are they any good?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Well said.

    We need to be like supporters of Millwall FC in the UK whose unofficial slogan is "Noone Likes Us – And We Don't Care".

    You don't want to come to Edmonton? F&$k off then.
    We can't attract UFAs? Who cares? Build from within and trade.

    As the header on Brownlee's post yesterday read;


  • I'm a Scientist!

    Jack Newcastle wrote:

    Let the naysayers and whiners flock to cow-town.

    Amen. Besides, the last few days are going to seem downright hilarious when Cogliano becomes a key cog in the next cup run. Dany who?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Good on you.

    New owner, new arena, revamped downtown in the works — Edmonton's best days are AHEAD, not behind. Let the naysayers and whiners flock to cow-town.