GDB LXVII: GUARANTEEING A WIN IN LXVIII

You know how you get ready for the 67th game of the year? You fearlessly predict a win in the 68th game of the year.

Sure, we suppose that anything could happen in tonight’s game against Les Habitants. Devan Dubnyk will get the start over Jeff Deslauriers, new friend of the Nation Chris Minard will rotate in for Patrick O’Sullivan and the Oilers themselves have been mildly decent of late with three wins in their past seven games. Things clearly aren’t as dire as they were a couple of weeks ago and the Oilers look to continue to deliver that special brand of "still last, but with 2% more dignity" type hockey tonight against the Montreal Canadiens.

Yes, we grant you that the Oilers could potentially beat the 7th place Canadiens tonight – though it would be way cooler if they saved the W for the Leafs on Saturday. But anything goes with the Habs – they have been a fairly unpredictable lot over the years.

Remember when Jose Theodore kept getting his picture taken with Hells Angels?

Remember when 19.7% of Montrealers went crazy in the playoffs last year and rioted the EFF out of the place after they beat the Bruins?

Remember when Ales Hemsky shaved his head for charity and then the hairstylist swept the hair into a vaguely Oil Dropped shape?

Awesome.

A TALE OF WOE

It’s hard times indeed in the OilersNation. Contrary to what jerkwad Gregor would have you believe we haven’t stopped breathlessly watching every heart pounding second of ice hockey served piping hot by the Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club.

We have been taking in the games far, far away from a computer where we might be tempted to blow our stack – instead opting to watch from the different pubs, dive bars and strip joints around town. We invariably sidle up to another table of remaining Oilers fans and discuss our collective woes as our local heroes find a way to enter another gem into the L column.

Those folks around town that claim that Daryl Katz and the Oilers themselves are the only people who get rich off of NHL hockey in this City certainly haven’t been into one of the hundreds of bars in town that are d-e-a-d for each and every Oilers game of late. We don’t know how many millions of dollars in revenue the City’s bars are surrendering to this brutal hockey season, but it is considerable.

We were at Pub 1905 on Jasper Ave on Tuesday with Bingofuel watching the Oilers lose to the Sens and we actually had to demand to have the TVs turned from curling to the Oilers game when it started. When Fernando scored his third goal of the season and timidly raised his arms into the air not-one-single-table other than Bingofuel + Wanye = 4eva raised its voice in celebration.

Drunks not cheering when the Oilers score.

It is dark times indeed.

A TALE OF CHEER

More importantly than tonight’s game against the Habs will be Saturday’s win against the Leafs. It’s important because we are attempting to round up the remaining 43 Oilers fans in the universe and bring them to the OilersNation party at the Pint to witness a game the Oilers will actually win down at the  A ribald evening will be had by all in attendance and just like we told you to bet the over under on the Blackhawks game:

We are guaranteeing an Oilers win.

BIRTHDAY BOY TRAVIS DAKIN WILL BE THERE

 

BINGOFUEL WILL BE THERE

 

SASS MOUTHED JASON GREGOR WILL BE THERE

 

MAYBE EVEN WE WILL BE THERE

 

Awesome.

We heartily suggest that everyone who still harbors a single psi of love for the team come down too and we will all drown our sorrows for the lost season together, whilst witnessing an Oilers win.

Note to the Oilers themselves: win tonight if you must, but save it for Saturday bitches.