Ordinarily we couldn’t possibly give less of a damn about the Montreal Canadiens if we had an electrified Not Give a Damn machine turned all the way up to maximum output. But even we have to hand it to Les Habs, much like we have to hand it to Jeanshorts for making the video above.
HOW DID THEY DO IT?
How did the Habs manage to return from a 3-1 series deficit exactly? How did they manage to shut down SuperStud Alexander Ovechkin? How did they shake off the dismissal of every single hockey expert who made a prediction about the series?
Take NHLfanhouse for example, not exactly the most celebrated NHL prediction centre, they nonetheless gave the Habs about the same odds as Charlie Sheen remaining hooker free for seven (consecutive) days:
Look at all them wrong predictions. You would think that a guy who made the Capitals the cornerstone of his draft team– the 142nd place Lindsay Lohan Death Watch Society – would be a bit more upset to see 1/5 of his draft squadron eliminated.
But when you are in 142nd you have such a massive lead on the pack you can afford to put your feet up a little bit:
That’s the stuff hockey predicting part of the brain. You have failed us time and time again yet we just can’t help ourselves but listen to you as we fill out draft cards.
Note to first place team "double J:" no one is scared of you. You have four Canucks dude. Prepare to have most of the field blow past you as the Canucks are eliminated by the Hawks in six games.
You know who will be laughing then?
The 167th place Lindsay Lohan Death Watch Society that’s who.
For posterity here are the remainder of our second round predictions:
(1) Sharks vs (5) Red Wings
What up with the Sharks? Shouldn’t they have checked out of the playoffs by now? Oh that’s right, you generally gas the second round of the playoffs, losing in 6 games as you have 3 of the past 4 years.
Yeah, that’s the ticket and exactly what is going to happen to the good-but-not-great Detroit Red Wings.
Wings in Six.
(2) Blackhawks vs (3) Canucks
Is this the year? Could it be that the Vancouver Canucks have what it takes to make it past the second round, allowing tens of thousands of Hippie Vancouverites to become vaguely aware that they have a hockey team? Does Roberto Luongo duplicate his Olympic performance and strap the team to his back?
Do the Sedins shake off being called twinkies and set the standard for playoff performances by Swedish Twins?
Hawks in Seven.
(4) Penguins vs (8) Canadiens
For some reason we have a strange love for 8th place Canadian teams that become a Cinderella story beating the Top Conference Team in the first round. Is this the year the Canadiens are the CDN team to go to the finals only to lose in Game Seven?
Canadiens in Seven.
(6) Bruins vs (7) Flyers
We hate you Chris Pronger. Even more than the other monster defenseman Zdeno Chara, seen below posing in the nude for some reason:
Bruins in Seven.