Dear Tyler Seguin,
According to the Bruins website it seems you have been signed to a 3 year entry level contract. We thought we would take this opportunity to write you a quick letter of congrats and shed some deep, dark emotional baggage in the process.
As you are doubtlessly aware, we thought you should have been picked first overall by the Oilers at the draft this year. When that didn’t happen, a little part of our soul died and we have spent the summer wondering about what could have been.
Since that time we have been carrying the torch on behalf of a rapidly shrinking Team Seguin Bandwagon, writing letters, starting petitions, penning love songs and sending you a box of our hair each and every Monday morning.
Yes, for the Summer of 2010, we truly believed you were the one.
But, now it seems that our hope that you play in an Oilers jersey is getting smaller by the day, although we hold out hope that Boston decides to pull the trigger on some sort of trade with the Oil and you come back the other way.
But it is time to move on Tyler. For both of us. Sometimes things don’t work out the way they should, but that is just a part of life. We will miss your boyish charms, your razor sharp wit and your seemingly limitless potential.
Rather than continue on with expressing ourselves by the printed word, please enjoy this scene from Anchorman, which we feel sums up our emotions completely.
And now we consider you the enemy.
So unless by some miracle you become an Oiler at some point in the next 20 years we consider this goodbye. We have Taylor now and that is just going to have to do.
This summer romance has officially come to an end.