It’s a boring Saturday Nation. If you are looking for an article on the new Corsi Numbers vis-a-vis the powerplay rankings or some such thing, keep on keepin’ on. We have nothing Oilers hockey related to discuss. If you want to talk about the embarrassment that is the Kovalchuk signing and hear about an emerging Canadian Country Music powerhouse then continue.
You have been warned.
KOVALCHUK = MEGA BALLIN
Ilya Kovalchuk is a ballin’ rich man. Not IBG ballin’ like in the album cover above, these guys are way richer. They lay indirect claim to owning a cruise ship if you look at this picture closely for heaven’s sakes. But hot off the signing of a 100 million dollar, 15 year contract that will see him employed until the tender age of 71 – no one need pass the hat for ol’ Ilya anymore.
Let us be very clear about our thoughts on this matter:
Ilya Kovalchuk is a nerd and will not live up to this contract.
In fact, years from now when someone tries to mock you for the terrible Horcoff contract, you will now be able to fire back "yeah, but at least we didn’t sign Kovalchuk to that monstrosity right?" Then the person you are debating with will immediately go silent and look dejectedly at the ground, knowing they have been bested in a battle of the brains.
Making 6.66 on a team called the Devils for the next 15 years? Is anyone even paying attention? It boggles the mind that the Devils would sign this sort of deal with this guy. The NHL even blocked the dang deal giving them a chance to catch their breath and come to their senses. But no, they seem to be dead set on destroying a remarkably consistent franchise over the past 10 years.
Once Brodeur retires or leaves NJ you will be able to set your watch by this team’s decline into oblivion.
Way to go team.
IN OTHER NEWS
Our musical tastes generally extend to people who’s name begin with Li’l. L’il Wayne, L’il Flip, L’il Boosie. If you haven’t been to jail or aren’t planning to be in jail before your next album drops, we may not be familiar with your jams. So when our buddy called us up and breathlessly exclaimed "do you want to go golfing with Gord Bamford?" The crickets on the other end of the line must have indicated we didn’t know what a Gord Bamford is.
But 18 holes later we have a whole new world of respect for what a Gord Bamford is and now consider him to be the first Country Singer we like. This guy is probably one of the hardest working people we have ever met, who is working his way through the Canadian Country music scene and is on the verge of busting into the US like only a proud Albertan can.
He has been nominated for basically every Canadian Country Music award known to man this year it turns out. Best songwriter, best video, best all around good guy, best singer, best album art and the fan choice award. This guy is basically the Avatar of the 2010 CCMAs and didn’t pump his own tire on the course once. The only clue he was a better cut of man than your ol’ pal Wanye was the bitchin’ personalized tour bag he toted around the course.
Not only is he a 5 Alarm beauty but he is a big time fan of the Oil as well. We almost dropped our 40 of RR when he started a story with "I was reading on OilersNation the other day …" We quickly devolved into yelling at each other about the Oilers and when GB bombed out the said "you guys always give shout outs to rappers I have never heard of. Where is the love for Country music? You are an Albertan for heavens sakes."
It is a fair point. We know there are a great many Citizens of the Nation who dig the Country Jams and we hereby pledge to be bringing Country Music into our video rotation on the Nation this season.
Any guy with a song called "Put some alcohol on it" with a video recorded with a bajillion ladies in bikinis on a houseboat in the Shuswaps deserves a big ups.
Good luck with the CCMAs Gord. And consider yourself the official Country Artist of the Nation* and as such we will recommend that everyone vote for you in the People’s Choice at the CCMAs by clicking here.
*Until L’il Boosie drops a Country Album.