GDB LVIV: JERKIN KINGS

Ah the LA Kings. We consistently look at your roster and laugh heartily at how crappy it seems on paper. Year after year, we consider you among the bottom feeders of the Western Conference unable to pose a threat to anyone but yourselves. Mind you, we also consider the Oil firmly in the 7th to 9th position year on year. History will show that we couldn’t have been more wrong this season on both counts. You stupid Jerks. We hate you LA. You have no business being this good.

Enter tonight’s game between the 15th place (and somehow falling) Edmonton Oilers and the unbelievably 5th place Kings. We haven’t looked at the standings in so long that we were honestly surprised to note today that Winnipeg doesn’t have a team anymore. That’s just how we are rollin’ round here these days at the bottom of the league.

But back to the never respected Kings.

THEM NEVER RESPECKTED KINGZ

How’s it going down there in LA? Awesome? Cause here, not so much. What’s that? You just dropped your first game after winning nine games in a row? Fantastic! We have crapped the bed 11 times in a row on the road with no end in sight. Who is sniping for you left and right? Ryan Smyth? Oh great! We have a vague recollection of him plying his ice hockey trade round these parts once upon a time.

But now we have Patrick O’Sullivan and as you know first hand how he is just 12 kinds of awesome. How are you doing Jarret “we ran you out of town on the first thing smoking a couple years back” Stoll? 12 goals, 35 points in 50 games? Wonderous! What we wouldn’t give for one of you taking the draws right now.

What kind of special brand of hell are we living in right now again?

Oh yeah, dead last in the NHL and having lost 11 in a row on the road kind of hell. That kind.

In a week we will be cheering for you Drew Doughty. But not yet, not today. For today, we hope you go stone cold and can’t hit the broadside of a barn. The rest of you Kings too for that matter, because it is going to take an act of Gods for the Oil to win another game this millennium.

It would be nice though if they would just win one.

*tear*