THE ROCK BOTTOM

"This is as bad as it gets" – Shawn Horcoff, 5.5 million per season, commenting on a combined -17 effort by Moreau, Pisani, Strudwick, Staios and himself after a 6-1 loss to the Coyotes.

Oh so this is as bad as it gets? This here is the low point that we can all mark in our calendars is it? February 9, 2010 will be the day we can tell our grandchildren about in 50 years, smoking on an astro pipe while some sort of robot attendant stokes a virtual fire and keeps our laser rocking chair from rocking too fast is it?

"Yes, those were dark days children" we will say whilst slowly e-rocking back and forth, "long before Nick Stadjuhar Jr. was drafted by the Oilers first overall and won the Hart in his rookie year. " The gathered grandchildren will nod knowingly and talk will wind its way around to the new downtown arena which is almost out of the planning stages by that point.

Thank the Gods of Hockey we can officially mark this day in all of our lives and that the steep decline is over and we have arrived at the very bottom.

HOW LONG WILL WE STAY HERE?

"We have to play better, that’s all there is to it."

– The very same Shawn Horcoff, still making $5.5 million per season.

If we aren’t seeing value from a guy that makes more money than Ryan Getzlaf, at least we are getting top drawer on ice analysis as a throw in on the deal. "You need to play better do you Shawn?" Thank the Ghost of Vernon Fiddler that you have come to this conclusion 58 games into the season.

Unless we are mistaken Mr. Awesome, you have the worst plus minus in the entire league. You read that correctly. No one has a worse plus minus than you though some of your teammates are giving you a run down the stretch.  We see you there Patty O’Sullivan, second worst in the NHL. And you too Robert Nilsson, 4th worst in the league and playing as though you trigger a bonus clause in your contract if you finish even worse. But we are really talking to you Master Horcoff.

You are the absolute worst there is.

That’s what she said.

There is no time for jokes.

Not when we are looking 35 points up in the standings to find the Phoenix Coyotes. Not when we are enviously watching the 2nd last place Leafs lose by a goal to the Sharks and peddling hope out of the ACC just as fast as it can be shoveled.

OH AND PS

How about Penner being 23-23-46 and +4 on the season? Had you told us at the start of the year that the Oilers would be dead last in the entire league and not a soul in the OilersNation would be mad at Penner, we would have punched you right in your sass mouth and then taken your sister to the Sizzler for a nice quiet dinner.

Well done DP, all of us who knocked you can eat it. You have proven your measure as a man. As brutal as the team is this year you have rebounded magically and are earning every cent you are earning. Can you maybe share some of your magic donairs with Horcoff? Maybe just order him one and smear it in his face? Maybe for your ol’ pal Wanye?