THINKING BIG: OILERSNATION IN SCOTTSDALE

I’m not sure what Wanye is on about with his references to a kick-ass addition to Oilersnation, but I can tell you my vote is that we open a new bureau in the hockey-mad city of Scottsdale*. I will staff it.

Having spent the past four days painstakingly researching the viability of expanding the Oilersnation brand to the hockey-mad city of Scottsdale*, rest assured, I will do whatever it takes to get Wanye on board with this.

Given the intense rivalry that has developed between the Edmonton Oilers and Phoenix Coyotes, the time has obviously come for this idea. It is also timely, given the much-anticipated game between the teams tonight. It will be a grind, considering I arrived back in Edmonton just last night, but I will fly back to Arizona this afternoon.

I see Oilersnation based in the trendy Hotel Valley Ho** in the hockey-mad city of Scottsdale*. In addition, I see a real opportunity here to do some slick cross-promotion — remote shows for every Wednesday and Thursday edition of the Jason Gregor Show from lovely Zuzu Lounge at the Hotel Valley Ho** until 2016.

To make this happen, I took the liberty of spending last Friday and Saturday night laying the groundwork for this exciting possibility with the management of the Zuzu Lounge at the Hotel Valley Ho**.

BIGGER THAN BIG

While I very much like the idea of the Brownleebot 5000, it will take time to perfect this innovation. By comparison, I’ve already done much of the legwork required to open the Oilersnation bureau in the hockey-mad city of Scottsdale*. We can be up and running immediately (read: tonight).

To make this possible, I’m happy to announce I’ve enlisted the services of hardcore Oilers fans Serena and Amy*** (showing their support for our favourite hockey team in the picture above) to aid in establishing help with day-to-day operations. Their ongoing participation as my personal assistants has already been discussed at length and requires only the approval of the Oilersnation board of governors.

In addition to all the above, I have already agreed to terms on sponsorship deal with Barry Meguiar (pictured below), host of Car Crazy and CEO of the fine line of car care products****. Meguiar has been a huge fan of the Oilers for many years and is happy to be aboard*****.

 

I am convinced the new Oilersnation bureau staffed by hardcore Oilers fans Serena and Amy*** and yours truly at the Hotel Valley Ho** in the hockey-mad city of Scottsdale* is only the start of something big. If scouting players from Cabo San Lucas worked for Barry Fraser and the Oilers, this can work for us.

 I await your feedback******.

*It is impossible to find one shred of evidence that anybody in Scottsdale even knows the Phoenix Coyotes exist. I did, however, meet a person with a wicked Escalade on 24s at the Barrett Jackson car auction who had heard of Nikolai Khabibulin.

**Mention given in consideration of accommodation, a bar tab that you would not believe and the replacement of cabana drapes that somehow caught on fire.

***Hardcore something or other. I paid them.

****I get a sh!tload of expensive product for life because I told Meguiar I write for a Canadian website that gets 12 million hits a day.

*****Barry has heard of Edmonton.

******You know this is a f*cking lie.

Listen to Robin Brownlee Wednesdays and Thursdays from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. on the Jason Gregor Show on TEAM 1260.

  • Horcsky

    Well, this is by far the best Brownlee article written on The Nation so far*.

    *Not to take anything away from other very enjoyable articles. Please don’t ban me BrownleeBot 5000!

  • Three things:

    • Barrett Jackson? You lucky b@stard!

    • That simply cannot be Brownlee there with Barry Meguiar. No way man. Good photoshop of his face onto that skinny guy’s body though.

    • One of your best articles yet!

  • Dan the Man

    Very nice car or whatever. I hope there are pics of the Twisted Kilt girls on reserve for future articles, holy.

    With 10 free drinks a day at Barrett many are still drunk, can’t rule that out.

    Great read.

  • Dan the Man

    I just got back yesterday from Phoenix for Barrett-Jackson, and the Twisted Kilt girls are amazing… i was chatting with different bartenders and waitresses and most are former or current cheerleaders, hawaiian tropics girls, or models… amazing!!! Our cheer team now has mentors to idolize! Why do i keep hearing Edmonton has a Twisted Kilt opening up where the Sharks Club was… is this true?! If so, might as well close hooters

    I wore my Oilers hat with pride the whole trip!

    Too bad they didnt play there a couple nights earlier!!!

    There’s always next year!

    • There were indeed Tilted Kilt girls at the auction, although I don’t know if my future bureau assistants Serena and Amy were part of that contingent.

      The Russo-Steele auction was also on last weekend. All in all, total heaven for car guys. And, yes, Barry is as cheerful and easy-going as he appears on Car Crazy. Dude has a lot of juice down there with the big hitters.

  • bigrroberto

    Not to take anything away from any of the other writers here at ON, but Brownlee you are by far the best. Well my favorite at least. I sure hope they’re paying you accordingly, or at least supplementing your awesomeness with cheap drinks and easy women. (I heard Wanye has access to both)

    • Quicksilver ballet

      All work and no play makes Oilersnation a dull place.

      The Canada food guide recommends adults consume 1 beer a day before 3pm mountain time, have you had yours yet?

    • Bucknuck

      Dude, this is a satirical piece about the total lack of an NHL market in Phoenix, written to put a smile on our face when the team has been sucking and when injuries are even preventing us from admiring our players at the All Star game.

      If you don’t get it, then you probably don’t want to showcase your lack of insight by trashing the article.

    • Your comment pushed my page view count for this item to 10,000 hits, meaning I get an extra free case of car care product from Barry this month.

      I will sell you some instant detailer, carnuba wax or wheel cleaner if you ever care to come out of the closet and buy a car.

      Regards,

      R. Brownlee, bureau chief, Scottsdale.

  • I tried it at home

    The Canada food guide recommends adults consume 1 beer a day before 3pm mountain time, have you had yours yet?

    Oh? I didnt know that, but now that youve brought me up to speed (thanks man!!) I’ll get cracking. In fact, I’ll see what I can do to make it retroactive 🙂

  • Banger

    Real story behind this article…..

    Robin emails Wayne some pictures and a quick update on his trip and also to inform Wayne that he can shove it if he thinks he is going to get an article this week. Quick thinking Wayne writes article and puts Robin’s name on it.

    Nice work Wayne, way to keep this place running.

  • Quicksilver ballet

    Good article Robin. I’ve had the good fortune of
    being here in Phoenix since Dec 31st. Speaking
    of cheap drinks the Saturday night game against
    Los Angeles was 1 dollar beer, hotdog and soda
    night. The cheapest tickets at the Box Office
    are 21 dollars. You can’t go wrong.

  • Bucknuck

    I went to a Phoenix Edmonton game in Phoenix in 2009. It was so much fun, and there were more Oilers fans there than Phoenix fans. It felt like a home game, were it not for all the noises after Phoenix scored*.

    The mighty Oilers won, and I remember the drive back to Phoenix and thinking: “why the heck would they put an arena way the hell out here?”

    *only happened twice! The oilers did it three times – YEAH!!