MISSING OUT

Has anyone taken a good look at the NHL standings of late? We can’t imagine how this could happen but our beloved Oilers – a heretofore lock for first pick in the 2011 Entry Draft – have been bested in a game of worst by the Ottawa Senators.

If things don’t change quickly, the Oilers could miss cout come June.

EXHIBIT A

Look at the 29th ranked Oilers staring back at us from the NHL standings. 7-3-0 in their past 10 games? Did you think the Oilers would have been more successful than Vancouver, Philly, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Montreal, Phoenix, Dallas, LA, Minnesota, Anaheim, Nashville, NYR, Buffalo, Carolina, Columbus, Toronto, St Louis, Atlanta, Florida, Colorado and the Islanders over the past 10 matches?

This is extraordinarily concerning for the fans of ELPH who are looking forward to a summer of dithering as to who the Oilers will select first overall for the second summer. As Oilers fans this is our divine right for the spring and summer season as the fans of better teams concern themselves with the trifling matter of the "playoffs."

What do the Oil need to do exactly to lock this up? Trade more Dustin Penners? Injure more Halls and Hemskys? Don’t think for a minute they can touch a hair on Jordan Eberle’s head and get away with it. Sacrifice every Liam Reddox on the team before you contemplate that.

But something needs to be done. And fast.

A GAMEPLAN FOR SUCCESS

Here is what the Oilers need to do for the remaining 17 games of the season. Like the kid in the 1/5 scale Sherman tank suggests, tank this piece. Mail it in.

This could involve:

  • Electing not to start a goaltender at puck drop.
  • Trying less.
  • Being scored on more.
  • Taking additional penalties when clearly not necessary. 
  • Cancelling all remaining team flights, forcing players to "find their own way to the games."
  • Beginning demolition of RX1 now "to save time down the road"

Whatever it is going to take Oilers. Find a way to get it done. Because if we don’t get our fill of ELPH down this home stretch and you find a way to come in any position higher than 30th.

Well, we don’t know what we will do.

ADDENDUM

Are our eyes functioning correctly? Or are the Flames in 5th place in the West? Weren’t they 28th place like 4 days ago?

Ugh.