Sweet Lords have mercy. Fresh off a 3,500 km road trip from Dallas to Edmonton – one where we forgot our blackberry at home in the charger because of "Celebratory Collateral" after the Bruins Cup win – the busy season is in full swing. No time for tales of debauchery in the Big D – there is so much going on in here we feel like we can’t keep up.*
*That’s what she said
#1: NATIONS ARE WHERE DOING WHAT?!
If we had real honest to goodness offices here at Nation Command – instead of the imaginary office complex deep under the surface of the ocean that exists in our mind – it would be dead empty right now. Five – count em – five seperate Voices of the Nation are in Minneapolis tonight holding it down and sniffing for scoops on behalf of all of us,
Jason Gregor and Robin Brownlee are down being wily veterans on behalf of the OilersNation. Pat Steinberg and Kent Wilson are down for the FlamesNation which also hilariously has a 3 hour Draft Special airing tonight on the Fan 960 in Calgary as part of the imaginary Coast to Coast NationRadio network.
The stalwart Robert Cleave is also down on behalf of FlamesNation on his own dollar to top it off- something we ourselves have not have the pills to pull off in the 3 years of the Nations. Mad respect for manning up and heading down there dude*
That also means that with the adult supervison out of town we are free to have Nation parties at the Pint. Meg Morrison is at the Pint off Whyte avenue tomorrow and we are raising the roof at the Downtown Location. So if you prefer the company of hot celebrity chicks you know where to go. If you prefer chugging light beer and "accidentally" walking into the girls bathrooms on a double dare fire on Downtown before the big pick goes down.
*That’s what she said
#2 HAS HOLMGREN LOST HIS MIND?!
Speaking of being unintelligbly drunk – what exactly has Paul Holmgren done in absolutely blowing up the core of his team in Philadelphia? Trading your 26 year old Captain who is signed until 3045? Trading Carter too?
This is the work of a single evil force at work: the Cancerous Chris Pronger. Mark our very words. See what he does to a dressing room when his schedule allows him to stick around for more than a year? Guaranteed he divided the room into two and this is the result. What good is solving your goaltending problems – with a contract so large it originally looked like the budget for a City on the Moon – when you traded away your two best players?
Heads will roll from this in a couple years. Just watch.
#3: SMYTH TO THE OILERS?!
When we came home to a flood of information from our Bruins loving room mate we almost sucker punched him in the face when he told us that this rumour was floating around several credible sources.
BruinsLover69: "You didn’t see this? You must be kidding."
WanyEberle14: "Dude we have been completely detached from all news for 4 days. We drove across the country like in Thelma and Louise."
BruinsLover69: "I didn’t even realize you were gone.* "
WanyEberle14: "Dude we have been gone for ages."
*Actual statement he had been living with his gf since the Cup Win as punishment for ignoring her since the season ended.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Ryan Smyth returning to the Oilers would be the best thing that has happened to the Oilers since they gassed #94 after "that thing that happened in tthe 2006 Stanley Cup Finals." Oilers brass has been quick to hide behind the rebuilding game plan for two full years – three years after they began rebuilding for real after letting the squadron fall to hell after a Game 7 Cup Run.
The flip side of having tons of kids on the roster and a back to back last place team is that we also have a boatload of Cap Space. Using some of the millions of dollars of cap room to sign the Greatest Oiler since The Great One would be a fine way to inject leadership and show that current brass does in fact remember what being an Oiler means and higher hopes than "keep getting first overall while selling out every game" for the next few years.
This has to happen. Did you know we started OilersNation originally as a Ryan Smyth protest site called bringryanhome.com? It’s true. Did you also know that we would gladly kill everyone we have ever met to save a single hair on his Blessed Head from coming to any harm? That’s true too.
UPDATE: WHAT IN THE HELL?!
"It is not done but CGY is working to acquire Ryan Smyth. Smyth has final say with his NTC but it may be as close as he gets to EDM"
If the Oilers gas this and Smyth goes to the Flames – get ready for the happy go lucky in 30th place vibe around these parts to disappear.
#4 DRAFT DAY TOMORROW?!
Oh and in case that isn’t enough going on, the 2011 Entry Draft is in full swing tomorrow. Holy eff.
To the bar. It has been a long drive and tomorrow is going to be an even longer day.